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My Divorced in Laws


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#1 Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez

Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez
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    Posted 30 September 2008 - 07:21 PM

    Okay, so both my parents and my fiance's parents are divorced. My parents have been divorced for 20 years so they have a good relationship causing me no stress. However, my FMIL hates her ex-husband and had actually said that if my fiancee invited his dad to the wedding, she would not go. So this week, I found out that my FMIL has not booked yet even though the STDs went out in early August. I told my fiance this and he said not to stress and that if his mother doesn't go to the wedding, he would not stress. I know this is untrue because I know he would be totally sad if his mom does not make it and I'm worried how he is really going to handle it if she really does not show up.

    #2 mushkilla

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      Posted 30 September 2008 - 09:31 PM

      Don't let this ruin your day. Everyone you're talking about are adults. If his mother is going to act that way towards her own blood, then maybe shes better off not coming if she chooses to do so. If the father can handle the arrangement, then there is no reason why your FMIL should make a scene. Its your day, its your FH's day, not hers. Hope that helps

      #3 Inked1

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        Posted 30 September 2008 - 09:34 PM

        I can empathize...the divorce was final about 1 month ago for my FILs. It was an emotionally messy divorce (somewhat fortunately there was very little property to fight over, and both kids are grown). There was a lot of lies of omission from his mother and she went about announcing the the impending official divorce papers very poorly as we packed up the belongings because of the home foreclosure. ((she did it by responding to my changing my name after the wedding by adding she would be keeping hers...she hadn't served papers yet))

        We are worried about how to handle the s.o. issue with both parents. MIL is in a relationship that started during separation and FIL has been on one date. My DF is usually very quite about his emotions but has said it's his day and he won't let their fight get in the way of how happy he is.

        I think if your FI's mother does decide to miss the wedding she will regret it more than he will. Best you can do is try to honor her in a special way in her absence, maybe have her record a special wedding message on tape for him to listen to or watch in private or publicly...whatever he wants. That way he can include her with out the danger of a divorce blow out...

        #4 Alyssa

        Alyssa
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          Posted 30 September 2008 - 10:32 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by Soon To Be Mrs. Gomez
          Okay, so both my parents and my fiance's parents are divorced. My parents have been divorced for 20 years so they have a good relationship causing me no stress. However, my FMIL hates her ex-husband and had actually said that if my fiancee invited his dad to the wedding, she would not go. So this week, I found out that my FMIL has not booked yet even though the STDs went out in early August. I told my fiance this and he said not to stress and that if his mother doesn't go to the wedding, he would not stress. I know this is untrue because I know he would be totally sad if his mom does not make it and I'm worried how he is really going to handle it if she really does not show up.
          Hi Soon to be Mrs.Gomez,

          As a reminder please review this thread about posting http://bestdestinati...om/forum/t24194. I will move this to "Just Venting or Funnies" for you.

          Thanks :)

          #5 Hartyt509

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            Posted 02 October 2008 - 08:52 AM

            I'd keep out of it - if she is so selfish not to go to her son's wedding then thats her problem and she will miss out.

            We thought we would have the same thing with FMIL refusing to go because FI's sister wasn't invited - FI said if she didn't go because of that reason he would tell her straight that he didn't want anything to do with her again.

            I think you've got to let FI fight this battle

            #6 DanielleNDerek

            DanielleNDerek
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              Posted 02 October 2008 - 09:33 AM

              its really childish if fmil cant put her hate towards ffil behind her for her sons wedding. I hope she comes around. I think you should stay out of it though.
              ***Married November 6, 2008***Gavin Born February 28th, 2010***
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