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KLC77

Who invites themselves to a wedding?

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I totally understand where you are coming from but, I guess I'm the odd ball out here. My mom's Best Friend (who I didn't know prior) kind of invited herself to my wedding, and I totally didn't mind at all. Even though it did end up costing us an extra $600 for her and her daughter to be there.

 

My mom (my guest) spent a lot of money to come to my wedding. I wanted her vacation to be as enjoyable as possible, and I knew that I was not going to spend every waking moment of the trip with her. Having her friend there not only kept her entertained, her friend turned out to be one of the sweetest women ever. She is a pro photog and took tons of pics for us the whole trip. It really was the more the merrier and I'm glad in the end that they did come.

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Originally Posted by KLC77 View Post
Yeah, I kind of figure she won't be around, but I just couldn't believe her. So just to avoid any "confusion", I have also decided to pre-fill my reply cards with people's names.
That is a great idea I am so doing that for my invites. I already tried to make it clear with the STD's I told people only the names on the envelopes were the people invited with the exception of kids but people are still trying to invite randoms.

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Same thing happened to me lol I'm too blunt at times and said you aren't coming that was it lmao

 

FI was so down this week, as was I, that I said he could invite another friend then the cheeky git says well what if she wants to bring a mate!! said well she can but she isn't coming to the wedding i'm sure she can entertain herself for a couple of hours FFS lol

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Originally Posted by becks View Post
I think most people assume that they will be invited "and guest". But note, you are asking people to travel quite a long way and pay a good sum to attend, so you may end up with extras there - they may not be going to the wedding events, but you can bet they'll be in the area.
I kind of agree, it's not asking people to come out for a night like a home wedding. We are asking people to spend their vacation with us. That would include a date, even if I dont know the person. While it's $200 per head or more, some of that is fixed cost, with only the $50 pp variable cost. Not that it doesnt matter, its still expensive, but I wouldnt take 5 vacation days and spend $1500 to go to a wedding by myself.

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Originally Posted by KarmaB View Post
I totally understand where you are coming from but, I guess I'm the odd ball out here. My mom's Best Friend (who I didn't know prior) kind of invited herself to my wedding, and I totally didn't mind at all. It really was the more the merrier and I'm glad in the end that they did come.
Again, sorry if I am the oddball. If your wedding is really intimate, then you have the right to voice your desires and make that happen. Whatever you decide, its your day. Just thought I would present the other side.

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Originally Posted by Duchess View Post
Again, sorry if I am the oddball. If your wedding is really intimate, then you have the right to voice your desires and make that happen. Whatever you decide, its your day. Just thought I would present the other side.
Oh, yeah I totally agree. In the end we all only have one special day and we have to do whatever it takes to make it just the way we want it. I was just sharing my actual personal experience and how it turned out for me.

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I def. agree that we are asking people to come a long way for our wedding and if they were dating for a long time then maybe I would change my stance on this. Its not really a problem for him to come without her (IMO) because FI invited 3 guy friends who are all really good friends with each other and can share a room and have a good time together. So that's what we were thinking. I do think that when the invites go out in a couple weeks it will totally solve this and it will be a non-issue. And, I'm friends with the guy too so I really have no problem pulling him aside and saying~ hey your gf was talking about coming to Mexico and I wanted to let you know that we are having family only. (we consider the very small group of friends invited family) Thanks for all the feedback. It is really nice to hear how everyone else has handled similar situations and see different pov.

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my FMIL has tried inviting everyone she passes on the street! i think we've gotten the situation remedied at this point tho. it took my fiance sitting her down and setting her straight about the added costs as well as not wanting a third of our wedding guests to be strangers! haha

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