December 2008 brides

[Simistar]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kevsgirl Etiquette is that vendors are supposed to be fed/offered a meal, but they usually take their meals somewhere else when they're on a break. They're meant to have at least one break too, even if they're playing during the reception. It's a bit more difficult for those who are just playing for an hour during the ceremony. Here's what we're doing: 3:30 ceremony - 4pm cocktail hour - 7pm dinner Photographer: 2:45-6.15 - I invited her to stay for dinner, even though she'll be done almost an hour before. She said yes, she'd love to! So i'm glad for that. Mariachis: playing during cocktail hour for 1 hour from 4-5pm - I expect them to help themselves to the hors d'oeuvres and have a drink on us. Want them to be happy and hydrated! That's it. No more vendors. Oh - I completely forgot our minister. I will ask him in advance if he wants to have dinner with us. If not, I"ll ask him to come up for some hors d'oeuvres. Andrea

Do you have to pay extra for the vendors' meals...? (or maybe your wedding package includes this...?)
For our reception, we have to pay about $100 per extra plate over 20 people...and having our vendors to dinner would put us over 20 people...
So I'm not sure what to do b/c paying for all our vendors to have dinner would be super expensive!

Maybe, since the photog is supposed to leave before we start dinner, I can just tell him to help himself to the appies and booze during the cocktail hour (I guess he can take a break for a few mins!:-))
I think we'll do this with the musicians for the ceremony and cocktail hour as well...

I don't mind paying for dinner for the DJ since he's there for four hours!

Does this sound okay...?
(And are you tipping your photog...? I've read some of the etiquette postings that you don't tip the photog if he's the owner...and that's the case with ours...)

Thanks!

[kevsgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simistar Do you have to pay extra for the vendors' meals...? (or maybe your wedding package includes this...?) For our reception, we have to pay about $100 per extra plate over 20 people...and having our vendors to dinner would put us over 20 people... So I'm not sure what to do b/c paying for all our vendors to have dinner would be super expensive!

EEK!!!

Talk to your wedding coordinator/resort and ask about this. My impression is that usually vendors do not eat with you and they have a different/less fancy meal? I don't know. Maybe they eat with the catering staff, KWIM? So in that case, you'd just have to ask to arrange a place for them to eat and meals to be ready for them for a set time. I would seriously hope that they wouldn't charge you $100 each. That is crazy!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simistar Maybe, since the photog is supposed to leave before we start dinner, I can just tell him to help himself to the appies and booze during the cocktail hour (I guess he can take a break for a few mins!:-)) I think we'll do this with the musicians for the ceremony and cocktail hour as well...

Definitely inviting your other vendors who aren't playing or working during dinner to just help themselves to appetizers is the right move. Just make sure you add some more appetizers for the extra people who may be eating. That's what we have to do for the mariachis and photog.

Not sure about the tipping. I'm never sure about that. You never want to offend, but if the service is amazing, then it's a good thing.

Anyone else know about this

[kevsgirl]

So I bought my dress at the beginning of August and it too me this long to call and find out when it's arriving.

It's arriving NOVEMBER 14!!! I'm a bit freaked out about how freaking long that is taking. They told me 2-3 months, so I thought it would be in in October.

 

I'm kicking myself for not telling them my wedding was earlier

[Simistar]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kevsgirl EEK!!! Talk to your wedding coordinator/resort and ask about this. My impression is that usually vendors do not eat with you and they have a different/less fancy meal? I don't know. Maybe they eat with the catering staff, KWIM? So in that case, you'd just have to ask to arrange a place for them to eat and meals to be ready for them for a set time. I would seriously hope that they wouldn't charge you $100 each. That is crazy!

Yeah I know -- crazy...but that's what the WC said...I think maybe b/c we're using outside vendors, and not the hotel's...
I am starting to think my resort's going to charge extra for the plates we eat our food on -- since they seem to charge extra for EVERYTHING!:-)

If anyone else has this issue with providing vendor meals...what are you doing...?...anyone...?

[arhoyaltres]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simistar Yeah I know -- crazy...but that's what the WC said...I think maybe b/c we're using outside vendors, and not the hotel's... I am starting to think my resort's going to charge extra for the plates we eat our food on -- since they seem to charge extra for EVERYTHING!:-) If anyone else has this issue with providing vendor meals...what are you doing...?...anyone...?

I haven't even thought this would be an issue. The only outside vendors I'm bringing with me is my wedding planner and photographers. I figured that they would eat whenever there was a break in their/our schedule and not necessarily eat at the reception (since the resort is all-inclusive) and they all should be busy during this time. I agree with you that you might be getting a hard time since you are using outside vendors.

[kevsgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simistar Yeah I know -- crazy...but that's what the WC said...I think maybe b/c we're using outside vendors, and not the hotel's... I am starting to think my resort's going to charge extra for the plates we eat our food on -- since they seem to charge extra for EVERYTHING!:-) If anyone else has this issue with providing vendor meals...what are you doing...?...anyone...?

That seriously sucks... I'm not sure what you should do...
Maybe you could get a few plates of appetizers for them (from another outside vendor. HA!) and have them eat them while working? I dunno...

[kevsgirl]

Ok Girls:

I'm having a problem...

 

FI's brother and gf (also getting married on Oct 25 this year) have been givign us a really hard time with regards to going to our wedding. They've been hemming and hawing for months.

Well, finally FBIL says he got the time off work to come Thu-Sun.

FMIL and FFIL offered to pay for their trip completely (flight, accomodation and full-time babysitting for their 2-yr-old)

 

So last weekend we booked our flights and the in-laws booked their as well as FBIL and gf and child's. Then we suddenly get a phone call from FBIL saying "Great. The flight lands in Philly during (baby's) nap time, so now GF and child aren't coming, thanks to how mom booked the flight".

 

Ok, so they've made a 'difficult family decision' to stay home (gf and niece), but FBIL is coming. THis is obviously awkward and we're insulted and disappointed. And overly sensitive, because it's our wedding. I should mention that FI is FBIL's best man and doing lots for their wedding.

 

Anyway, so then immediately, FSIL starts trying to coordinate a shower for me with 2 of my good friends.

And I have to go to her shower in a few weeks time and there's the added issue that she stayed friends with an old friend of FI's that is no longer friends with (and it was a nasty issue)... so there will be people at FSIL's shower I'm going to in a few weeks that really dislike my FI.

 

I don't want to go to her shower, and I feel really awkward about her coordinating my shower.

And I'm frustrated and hurt by her staying home and missing our wedding.

She says it's because she's worried about her daughter getting sick, etc. Her daughter is the sweetest, easiest kid ever. And the in-laws would babysit the entire time and it's a free trip.

I know I'll not understand until I have kids of my own, but it's still seems ridiculous to me. She never wanted to come.

 

So I'm in an awkward situation. And add to that the fact that I know that most of the people who are invited to my shower are either not invited to the wedding or not coming.

We only have about 8 confirmed guests

 

So I guess there are lots of things bothering me right now.

Ideas? Thoughts? Hugs? TIA!

[amy706]

OMG KevsGrl, that is horrible. I dont' blame you for feeling that way about your FSIL. And I think its pretty bogus that she's not coming. She's going to miss out in the end. Unfortunatley, you cannot control other people; you can only control how you respond to it. I hate to say this but I feel like you have to be the bigger person and suck it up and go to her shower.

 

I'm really sorry they're making this so difficult for you.

[kevsgirl]

Quote:

Originally Posted by amy706 OMG KevsGrl, that is horrible. I dont' blame you for feeling that way about your FSIL. And I think its pretty bogus that she's not coming. She's going to miss out in the end. Unfortunatley, you cannot control other people; you can only control how you respond to it. I hate to say this but I feel like you have to be the bigger person and suck it up and go to her shower. I'm really sorry they're making this so difficult for you.

I know I do. The funny thing is that I'm not wanting out of her shower to spite her; I actually like her, but I'm nervous about being there around people who may be talking about me and my FI

My new mantra: "what you think of me is none of my business"... Ha!

Yes, she and her daughter will both miss out and we'll miss having them there at our wedding. But the last thing I want is people there who don't want to be there, so I'm grateful to them for backing out in a way. Sad but true.

[Simistar]

holy drama!:-)

 

I also don't have kids (yet), so maybe I am being totally insensitive here, but I do have LOTS of friends who have kids and I've never heard of ONE of them turning up a FREE trip b/c it interfered with their child's nap time...

I think she just didn't want to go...I think anyone who really wants to be there for you (and your FI) will find a way to be there...at least that's what I have found with the people who have RSVP'd to come to our wedding...

 

But no matter what, you're going to have an amazing day and IT'S YOUR FREAKIN' WEDDING and you'll have a great time and so will everyone there and you'll look beautiful and in the end...you won't even notice the people who didn't make it:-)

At least, that's my 2 cents:-)

 

Sigh