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Someone Talk Me Back Into My DW


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#1 *Casey*

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    Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:19 PM

    Hey Everyone,

    I am really having second thoughts about having a DW now. All I've ever said that I wanted was a DW on a beautiful beach with beautiful water, close friends and family. Well, the small 20 person crowd I imagined is now growing to more like 50. I really wanted to go back to Texas after the wedding for a reception where we could have a big party with all of our friends not at the wedding. And the reception is where I expected to really shell out the bucks, but with the DW guest list growing, it'll be almost just as expensive.

    So today i've been looking at places outside of Dallas in order to have some kind of feeling of being away. Kind of rustic elegant type places. Then after talking to my FMIL last night, she kind of put a damper on that worrying about people driving drunk the 45minute trip back to Dallas. So then I was talking to my FI and he suggested having bus shuttles back and forth, but that seems so frat party style to me. I don't know if I would want buses going to and from my wedding, you know?

    I know that planning a wedding isn't easy. But I really just need a little pick me up right now.

    Any suggestions?

    #2 Jacqueline

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      Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:24 PM

      Sorry you're going through this. It will work out though!

      Anyway I'm not sure if I'll be a lot of help since I'm not having DW. I was going too as well but decided not too. In my opinion, from being a part of this site and having a good friend just having a DW (Carly) I felt like at first everyone says they will be there and the #'s are high but eventually they lower. Did all of your guest pay already for this DW??

      #3 MelanieS

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        Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:25 PM

        Are the 50 people confirmed, or are they just saying, "Sure, I'll go to your DW!" You'll find that alot of people say they are coming, but do not follow through on it. Did you send out invites to these 50, or are they just telling you they're coming?

        If you had your heart set on a beach weddng, then nothing else will do but a beach wedding! Follow through on what your heart tells you to do. I think every girl here on the forum would say a DW was worth the effort, stress, and planning. I doubt any of them wished they'd had their wedding at home rather than a DW.

        #4 Jacqueline

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          Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:29 PM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by timelsel
          If you had your heart set on a beach weddng, then nothing else will do but a beach wedding! Follow through on what your heart tells you to do.
          Yes and I 2nd that, follow through on what your heart tells you to do ;o)

          #5 Christine

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          Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:31 PM

          I am going to assume since you have question marks after your date and place you haven't booked yet, which means your guests are just saying sure we'll go, I promise you they won't all go.
          Now as for finding a place close by but still far away, that is what I did and most of the younger people and drinkers stayed in the hotel we had and the older people drove home it worked out really well for my family so that the grandparents could still come but didn't have to travel, it also worked well for my cousins who have small children, most of them got hotel rooms and the kids went and changed and also could go to bed early.
          either way its your wedding you have to do what you want to do no matter what people tell you.
          Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

          #6 *Casey*

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            Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:32 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Jacqueline
            Sorry you're going through this. It will work out though!

            Anyway I'm not sure if I'll be a lot of help since I'm not having DW. I was going too as well but decided not too. In my opinion, from being a part of this site and having a good friend just having a DW (Carly) I felt like at first everyone says they will be there and the #'s are high but eventually they lower. Did all of your guest pay already for this DW??
            No, no one has bought tickets yet, thank goodness. The thing is that I have a very large immediate family, and my FI wants to have like 7 groomsmen (+guest) and 8 more of his best friends (+guest). All of these guys WILL come. I can guarantee that. And my mom is wanting me to invite all 4 of her sisters, their husbands, their kids... which means I would have to do the same thing with my dads side of the family. And that would leave me no room for my friends (+guest). ARGH!!!!

            #7 Christine

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            Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:33 PM

            yes well I have a huge family too, but there are always people that can't go.
            Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

            #8 MelanieS

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              Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:39 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by kacie3344
              No, no one has bought tickets yet, thank goodness. The thing is that I have a very large immediate family, and my FI wants to have like 7 groomsmen (+guest) and 8 more of his best friends (+guest). All of these guys WILL come. I can guarantee that. And my mom is wanting me to invite all 4 of her sisters, their husbands, their kids... which means I would have to do the same thing with my dads side of the family. And that would leave me no room for my friends (+guest). ARGH!!!!
              We have a very large family on both sides also, but only 18 ended up going to the wedding. We had 300 at the AHR, though.

              Unfortunately, I can guarantee that all those guys (groomsmen and friends) and your mom's sisters won't come. You'll be lucky if half go. When they see the prices of the resort plus airfare, they will start to backpeddle. The ones we were most sure would come (and could definitely could afford it) were the ones with the lamest excuses for not coming.

              #9 NewOrleansbride

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                Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:40 PM

                I went through these same emotions a few months ago. I had always envisioned a small, intimate beach wedding (about 20 people) and it just exploded into us inviting 100 people. And FMIL wanted lots more! I avoided talking to people about the wedding because it was so awkward when I had to say "we're really just having a small intimate group". I reached a point that I regretted ever planning this wedding and wishing that we had just eloped because the whole event morphed into something that we both always said we didn't want.

                But, things did settle down, and I'm SOOOOOOO happy that we decided to move forward with what we wanted. Just always remember that this wedding is for the two of you. While there are other people that are important, it is what makes the two of you happy that matters most!
                -Rachel

                #10 SunBride

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                  Posted 19 June 2008 - 01:41 PM

                  if these people haven't yet been unofficially invited by word of mouth, they are just assuming they are invited, and there is no stopping you from not inviting them. How about just inviting immediate family and closest friends? Taht would keep it to about 20 people.

                  However if you've already given the impression to everyone (verbally) that they are invited, then that would be difficult.

                  I always thought we would invite everyone to our DW, but when we found out our best man and maid of honour couldn't come, we decided not to invite any extended family, just parents and sisters (would have been too sad to have everyone and their dog but not our closest friends). People were very surprised and disapointed (when we told them we were engaged and getting married down south, several people responded "we'll be there!" and I had to nicely say we were thinking about only inviting family. So when it was officially confirmed we were only inviting family a month later, nobody was too surprised). Although some people were disappointed, they were all very respectful.

                  Why are you wanting to limit it to 20 people? Cost reasons only? Large DW can be so much fun! If the only reason is cost, then you could just go with a cheaper reception for your DW (i.e. dinner at the buffet, they will usually set aside a section for your group, and then head over to the disco) and save your money for a fancy at home reception.

                  Just some ideas.




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