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Help me plan my wedding


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#11 Spazz

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    Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:18 PM

    Glenda, I'm so excited that you're getting married. I knew you canceled your DW, but never really knew the background info. I think you should talk to FMIL and let her know that there is no reason for a rehearsal dinner, and gently convince her to use that money towards the wedding party instead. I think the best idea would be to do either the restaurant OR the party at the house. Doing one instead of both would save you a lot of money. Which one would you prefer?

    #12 A10CalGal

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      Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:18 PM

      Hey Glenda! So, my memory may be a little fuzzy....but if I'm remembering correctly, the whold thing that was so insane about your families flipping out about a DW is that they weren't even offering to pay for a NYC wedding...do I have that right? That still blows my mind. So, the idea is that you & James are supposed to some how figure out how to pay for feeding/ entertaining 90 of your closest friends & family? This makes me nervous for you.

      #13 Nrvsbride

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        Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:19 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Alyssa
        Glenda,

        If your FILaw's backyard is big enough, what about hosting a cocktail reception there that night.

        Let's say you have the church at 2pm then do the event from 4 to 8 - that kind of thing - we can really get creative with $10K - with his parents $5 and a little more from them, you and James could do $2K or $3??
        Yeah I think James and I could def do about $4k, maybe $5. Uggh this sucks b/c we had our church time for 1PM, but then we changed it to 11AM b/c we wanted to make the lunch time for the restaurant (it was the only way to keep it private).

        But actually I think if we just did the restaurant it would be about $9520 w/o tax or tip. But we were also told we would have to hire a piano lady for the music. Not sure how much that would cost.

        #14 Maura

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        Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:19 PM

        ok g, one thing that might cut huge costs is if you can do the luncheon at home and have it catered. is there a backyard you could set up tables and maybe rent chiavari chairs/white tablecloths?

        PM me what size dress you wear, if you are close to me, you can borrow a dress from me if you want -- i bought 2 for my civil ceremony because i wasnt crazy about how i looked in the first one, and so i bought a jcrew dress. if either fits you, you are welcome to borrow and then ship back to me so they arrive by july 3rd!

        let me think about some other ways to cut costs....

        #15 starchild

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          Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:21 PM

          Glenda we have to talk. What is this Alyssa business...I thought I was the MOH!! LOL

          Seriously I am super excited for you! I nominated you for btb because I knew it was coming

          Yes, I would ask her to pay towards the reception dinner, I don't think it's rude but if she's traditional she may feel there should be a rehearsal & dinner. Are you planning on having rehearsal? I guess at a church you may have to?

          Some of the best things in life are last minute so I have no doubt this will turn out perfectly...let me know if I can help research or do anything. Smooches :)

          #16 Nrvsbride

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            Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:21 PM

            Quote:
            Originally Posted by Christa
            Hey Glenda! So, my memory may be a little fuzzy....but if I'm remembering correctly, the whold thing that was so insane about your families flipping out about a DW is that they weren't even offering to pay for a NYC wedding...do I have that right? That still blows my mind. So, the idea is that you & James are supposed to some how figure out how to pay for feeding/ entertaining 90 of your closest friends & family? This makes me nervous for you.
            Christa have I told you lately that I heart you? LOL. Yes they never offered a dime but now all of a sudden they are offering $5k b/c they can't bare the thought of us not doing anything (i.e. having family come to the church and then what...tell everyone to go home?) They are super pushy but James finally told his parents yesterday that we just don't have the money to do something huge.

            I just don't know if we should do anything at all. I mean I know our families are going to want to go to the church and see us get married so I guess it will be akward to not do anything at all. KWIM?

            #17 A10CalGal

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              Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:25 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Nrvsbride
              Christa have I told you lately that I heart you? LOL. Yes they never offered a dime but now all of a sudden they are offering $5k b/c they can't bare the thought of us not doing anything (i.e. having family come to the church and then what...tell everyone to go home?) They are super pushy but James finally told his parents yesterday that we just don't have the money to do something huge.

              I just don't know if we should do anything at all. I mean I know our families are going to want to go to the church and see us get married so I guess it will be akward to not do anything at all. KWIM?
              No, you have not told me you heart me lately! So thanks

              I agree w/where Alyssa is headed here ....I think you should try to use the funds available to put together a great cocktail party in the back yard! I know your FIL's won't like that it's not super uppity, but c'mon, they have to understand the economics here. I believe you'd be able to make this work if you do it in the back yard & cater it like Alyssa is thinking...

              #18 Nrvsbride

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                Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:26 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Christa
                No, you have not told me you heart me lately! So thanks

                I agree w/where Alyssa is headed here ....I think you should try to use the funds available to put together a great cocktail party in the back yard! I know your FIL's won't like that it's not super uppity, but c'mon, they have to understand the economics here. I believe you'd be able to make this work if you do it in the back yard & cater it like Alyssa is thinking...
                Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I think it makes more sense. Hmmm...I will have to talk to James about this.

                #19 rodent

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                  Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:27 PM

                  Does the church have a rec room? Could you rent that & cater something?

                  Would eloping get you in trouble with them too? Sounds like you don't want all the stuff, but just want to get married. It's sad these other things have to get in the way.

                  I personally love the idea of having a backyard catered thing, especially since they have a huge backyard. But, if they are against it that probably wouldn't work.

                  I am really happy to hear you are getting married in June. I didn't know what you were doing after the DW was canceled.

                  My brain is full of money saving ideas & i'd be happy to help.

                  #20 Nrvsbride

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                    Posted 25 April 2008 - 06:27 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Lizz
                    Glenda, I'm so excited that you're getting married. I knew you canceled your DW, but never really knew the background info. I think you should talk to FMIL and let her know that there is no reason for a rehearsal dinner, and gently convince her to use that money towards the wedding party instead. I think the best idea would be to do either the restaurant OR the party at the house. Doing one instead of both would save you a lot of money. Which one would you prefer?
                    It really doesn't matter to me. I think the whole issue was that James and his parents felt that if we did the restaurant it would be done by 4:30 and then everyone would still want to do something KWIM? So they offered to have some people come back to their house afterwards. I just think having both is too much.




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