Opt out of reception?

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kat81 Morgan, I don't think you came off offensive. Just passionate. Everyone here comes from different budgets and different wants of their special day. Everyone here loves you and loves your DIYing ways. Don't let it get to ya!!

Oh, I'm fine. I just understood where I might have been missunderstood (probably because i didn't explain myself right) so I wanted to throw in an update for anyone who comes to this thread later.

[Mandy]

Morgan, you mentioned that your parents were divorced. Mine are not, but my FI's are. To say his mom and step-mom do not get along is an understatement. His graduation with both of them there was crazy, and that wasn't for a week! Had it not been for them, I would have said "why not have a reception, or at least a 'free' plan for everyone to hang out the entire evening?" I never would have given it a second thought. Now, however, I realize that that would be a very uncomfortable situation, especially since we have less than 20 guests. I think we may still go ahead and have a short dessert reception after dinner, but I fully expect at least one of them to skip out pretty quickly. What she decides to do at that point is up to her, and the rest of us can hang out and have fun without them. Oh, and we're not doing a wedding cake and we're bringing our own music, so it's still going to be a pretty cheap option.

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mandy Morgan, you mentioned that your parents were divorced. Mine are not, but my FI's are. To say his mom and step-mom do not get along is an understatement. His graduation with both of them there was crazy, and that wasn't for a week! Had it not been for them, I would have said "why not have a reception, or at least a 'free' plan for everyone to hang out the entire evening?" I never would have given it a second thought. Now, however, I realize that that would be a very uncomfortable situation, especially since we have less than 20 guests. I think we may still go ahead and have a short dessert reception after dinner, but I fully expect at least one of them to skip out pretty quickly. What she decides to do at that point is up to her, and the rest of us can hang out and have fun without them. Oh, and we're not doing a wedding cake and we're bringing our own music, so it's still going to be a pretty cheap option.

If you are worried, it's good to know that parents are usually on their best behavior at weddings. I've been in some family situations that I thought were not going to go well, but the divorced parents & new spouses tend to be as friendly to each other as they can be. My mom & dad can get along. I just think it could still be hard for them. More for my dad, because he won't be bringing anyone. For all the graduations we usually kept things mostly segregated. We all went to dinner each time, but that's about it.

[Mandy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morgan If you are worried, it's good to know that parents are usually on their best behavior at weddings. I've been in some family situations that I thought were not going to go well, but the divorced parents & new spouses tend to be as friendly to each other as they can be. My mom & dad can get along. I just think it could still be hard for them. More for my dad, because he won't be bringing anyone. For all the graduations we usually kept things mostly segregated. We all went to dinner each time, but that's about it.

Thanks. Honestly, I have only been dating my FI since October (! - we were best friends for about 4 years first), so I have only seen his mom and dad together that one time. They all agree that they'll be on their best behavior, so we'll just make sure we keep an eye on alcohol consumption. And no skin off my back if one of them quietly steps out! But we are putting them at opposite sides of the resort.

[amyrak]

I agree with the whole do what is best for you. I believe I would like to have a private reception but my FI insists it's ridiculous to pay at an all-inclusive. Which I see the point there. So, we'll see. In our wedding package it includes a private reception for 20 guests and I'm not sure how much each extra person is but right now we are at about 20 guests and I don't anticipate it getting too much higher. I'm sure it will all work out.

But, that being said...I don't think our guests will be upset if we don't. We would happily get married by ourselves and close friends but gave the opportunity for friends and family to join us. So, they are willingly spending the money because most of them just want a good excuse for a vacation too! We are having a reception back home also so they will have their formal private reception then. Mexico is for people wanting to see the actual wedding I guess and to have some fun in the sun with us. Most people are looking forward to being with friends and family for a week and having a good time. Not to sit at a dinner for us for one hour..we will probably be having meals together every day. My cousin says she's wearing her swimsuit to the wedding so she can get back to the beach..(ha jokingly)

So, my feeling is do what's right for you. If this was my only reception I would probably go all out. But I know not everyone that wants to celebrate will be able to afford Mexico so we are having something back home for all.

I also think I may have some kind of welcome party the night before (which also happens to be my fi's b-day) so I'll make it a surprise b-day party for him too.

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by amyrak I agree with the whole do what is best for you. I believe I would like to have a private reception but my FI insists it's ridiculous to pay at an all-inclusive. Which I see the point there. So, we'll see. In our wedding package it includes a private reception for 20 guests and I'm not sure how much each extra person is but right now we are at about 20 guests and I don't anticipate it getting too much higher. I'm sure it will all work out. But, that being said...I don't think our guests will be upset if we don't. We would happily get married by ourselves and close friends but gave the opportunity for friends and family to join us. So, they are willingly spending the money because most of them just want a good excuse for a vacation too! We are having a reception back home also so they will have their formal private reception then. Mexico is for people wanting to see the actual wedding I guess and to have some fun in the sun with us. Most people are looking forward to being with friends and family for a week and having a good time. Not to sit at a dinner for us for one hour..we will probably be having meals together every day. My cousin says she's wearing her swimsuit to the wedding so she can get back to the beach..(ha jokingly) So, my feeling is do what's right for you. If this was my only reception I would probably go all out. But I know not everyone that wants to celebrate will be able to afford Mexico so we are having something back home for all. I also think I may have some kind of welcome party the night before (which also happens to be my fi's b-day) so I'll make it a surprise b-day party for him too.

Your cousin sounds like my friends & family. I've been told one guy might be fishing during the wedding, but he'll have the boat drive him by. Another friend said she'll be zip lining & asked if there is a zip line that runs over where the ceremony will take place.

I see how it varies by individuals & the groups that are going. My group is was more excited about going to the ruins & going fishing. It's like "oh, yeah there will be a wedding too."

[jnowlan]

At the Sunset Grande we had a cocktail reception after the wedding which included h'orderve's and this was included in our package we puchased and we then had dinner at the Ginger Lily after with everyone. I'm with your FI why should you pay for food which everyone has already paid for. It turned out great everyone had a great time.

[amyrak]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jnowlan At the Sunset Grande we had a cocktail reception after the wedding which included h'orderve's and this was included in our package we puchased and we then had dinner at the Ginger Lily after with everyone. I'm with your FI why should you pay for food which everyone has already paid for. It turned out great everyone had a great time.

Yes, in my opinion..the resort should be going out of the way to make something special for you. Look at all the business you are bringing to their establishment. There is no way we would ever get our family, friends, etc to do a vacation like this any other way or even to stay at this nice of a resort. So, if you are bringing them all this business they normally would never get from these people, they should be falling all over you with perks and free private dinners. I just don't get it.

[Betsy]

I just read this entire thread - Morgan you are the sweetest ever!

 

Anyways - I wanted to have a reception but it is not going to happen - I am not going to go into details as many of you already know the story - so we are having a ceremony and then dinner and then we are going to have a dance under the stars and then either head to the disco or somewhere - as I understand it - not going to be a private thing but I really don't care - the more the merrier is my motto - as long as there is no rain I will be happy!!

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Betsy I just read this entire thread - Morgan you are the sweetest ever! Anyways - I wanted to have a reception but it is not going to happen - I am not going to go into details as many of you already know the story - so we are having a ceremony and then dinner and then we are going to have a dance under the stars and then either head to the disco or somewhere - as I understand it - not going to be a private thing but I really don't care - the more the merrier is my motto - as long as there is no rain I will be happy!!

Even if there is rain you can make it work. Cool pictures under umbrellas, dancing in the rain, etc. When i was a kid we had a big swimming pool & my parents threw parties pretty often. The absolute best pool party we ever had was one where it rained & lightening all day. We moved the party into the carport & sang all night. It's one of the few videos I have as a kid. My grandpa is singing & the sky is lighting up behind him. I'm break dancing to willie nelson. It was an awesome night.

I think being around people you love makes anything great.