LeighC

@@vancouverpetunia  thank you! i just got done looked through your thread so far! it looks beautiful! and planning gifts for other people is definitely difficult. Because i'm letting my girls pick their own dresses, I've put off buying jewelry for them until pick what they're wearing.  When do you get your custom dress?

Hello to whoever is still reading this thing! I know I've been gone forever.......I actually ended up taking a new job and moving halfway across the country! And once we got to our new state, we ended up in a not-very-great apartment (which we had to rent without seeing first due to the short notice about the new job), so rather than waiting to house hunt after a year of getting to know the city, we hastened the timeline.  We found a fantastic little house, and we're closing on it at the end of january. My time for the past 4 months have been spent packing, moving, starting a new job, house hunting, and now packing again!

So here i am....three months out from my wedding, and I have done almost nothing by way of planning.  and because we bought a house much sooner than expected, most of my "wedding fund" has turned into a house down payment.  OOPS.  I've had to really rethink the wedding and figure out where I can save some money.....so here is the status:

1. Guests---We've had several people drop out, and final hotel payments are due in 3 weeks.  Right now, we're at a 46 head count (not including bride and groom). I'm waiting to finalize the seating chart until after final payments, but I'm going to go ahead and start creating place cards.  Which leads to the next point!

2. Table Settings (other than sweetheart table)-----Bear with me on this, because i don't have an exact picture to show you. I started out with two inspiration photos:

To save some money, I'll be using the standard white table cloths and chairs from the resort. I bought some fantastic fabric that matches my lighter blue color, which I am making into large table runners (similar to the first photo). For the centerpieces, I'm going to use one bouquet of white and light pink flowers in a copper/rose gold vase, with mismatched rose gold votive candles around it.  

For table numbers, I'm going to buy plain wooden ones from a craft store and paint them navy.  I'll post photos once I finish.

Finally, each place setting at the table will have a thank you card (to be DIY'd) and a place card.  I just bought these adorable sea urchin on Etsy, and i'll print out the name cards with navy font.  

Oh yeah!  As some of you may remember, we actually picked a photographer in Boston, rather than Mexico.  Well, we don't live there anymore! We ended up having to fly back to Boston about a month after we moved away to proceed with our scheduled engagement photos.  It ended up being a great way to say goodbye to the city where we had lived for 7 years.  

If anyone were to ask where we became "us", I would say Boston. We moved across the country together, not knowing anyone. We struggled without that safety net, but we're so much stronger now because of it.  Here are a few of the photos!

I'm getting married at El Dorado Seaside Suites, and part of the reason we picked it was because it was a smaller resort and good for couples.  380 rooms.  

The beach is definitely on the small side, though.  

Invitations:

so i think i mentioned before that I'm not very crafty when it comes to paper goods.  I'm really going to try some DIY things for things like menus, welcome letters, placecards, etc.   But for the save the dates and invitations, I figured  I should probably leave it to a professional.....

I just ordered these yesterday, and I'm so excited about them!  This is just a mock-up, we requested custom colors.  

Here it is just adding our information to the mock-up:

As a reminder, here's our color palette: 

Sorry I've been so MIA.  Work just exploded for me.  (i should probably be working right now, but oh well).  This is part of the reason I want to plan as much as possible early on.  Who knows what work will be like in the month or two before the wedding!  Anyway.....on to more planning things:

Guests (with a smidge of drama):

21 of the 35-ish guest rooms have a deposit down, and we've had only a few people give a definite "no."  We'll see who pays in full in a few months.  The way we arranged it was that we were inviting 64 people, which grew to 68.  Two of the extra folks were my photographers, two were a couple we invited more as a symbolic gesture (we knew they weren't going to come).  we also added my aunt and uncle last minute.

For the most part, our families have been very understanding of the fact that we're having a destination wedding, and that we are planning on keeping it very small.  Everyone seemed on board with it.  Then, about a month after we pick a resort and a date, I get an email from my mom.  She had been kicking around the idea of trying to plan a family vacation combining her children (me and my siblings) with her husband's children.  She doesn't think they can afford to do both, so she asks me if it would be ok if her husband's children (and their families) come along.  This leaves me with a few options:  1) say ok, which would effectively add a minimum of 10 guests to my wedding because they are married with children; 2) say ok, but they can't attend the wedding events; or 3) say no.  

I went with option 3.  And i felt awful about it.  I couldn't afford that many additional guests, but I thought it would be really weird to have them hanging around the resort without actually being a part of the wedding.  Not to mention the fact that my parents are divorced, and I'm sure that would make my dad uncomfortable.  I've only met them a couple times, so it would be a little weird for me as well.  And finally, I was a little disappointed that my mom was essentially saying that my wedding (and the possibility of spending time with her children) was inconveniencing her time with her step children.  That's a bit of a juvenile feeling, but there it is. To her credit, after I said no she dropped it.  I'm just a bit annoyed she put me in the position of having to say no in the first place. 

So that was early on, and I thought the guest list drama had passed.  Then, THE DAY I SEND OUT THE SAVE THE DATES,  I call my dad briefly on an unrelated topic, and I casually mention that the save the dates are in the mail.  He asks, "are you inviting my sister and her husband?"  I tell him no, that due to the space limits for the ceremony space, I didn't invite any of my parents' siblings.  And then, in the tone only a dad can use, he tells me, "well.......that's your choice....."   Now, I know you guys don't know me, but I am a total daddy's girl.  My dad and I lived alone together for many years.  I've heard him use a disappointed tone with me less than 5 times in my entire life.  I caved IMMEDIATELY.  I went home, contritely explained the situation to my fiance, who wanted me to stay firm on our guest list, but I sent my aunt a save the date anyway.  Luckily, I found out recently that they will not be attending, which is good for our budget, but also because I don't have to have an awkward conversation with my mom about why I didn't invite her siblings as well.  

So everything worked out, and almost all of the important folks have put deposits down.  I would love to think that's the last of the guest list drama, but after reading through all of your threads, I know that's just wishful thinking

All, I just need to take a moment......the US Supreme Court just ruled in favor of marriage equality in every state.  

Mr. and I have been together for over 9 years now.  I never had any doubt that our relationship was forever.  Having a piece of paper saying we're married wasn't going to change our love or commitment to one another.  But even so, getting married was important to me.  It was a declaration to everyone--our friends, our family, our future children, even the government--that we were a unit. It breaks my heart to think that some of my dear friends weren't able to make that declaration.  UNTIL TODAY.  I know some states are going to fight it tooth and nail, but I'm just going to take a moment to be happy and to celebrate with my friends.  

happy wedding planning to everyone

@@Wafflesmom ooooh.  I forgot about 6pm!!  I'll have to check it out.  It's probably one of those things where if I feel the need to ask if it's too much, it probably is

I'm annoyed right now because I have so many decor ideas I want to get down before I forget them......but, as it is wont to do, work really got in the way this week, and it's going to end up being a long post that will take some time and energy.   Why can't they just give me my paycheck and let me spend all day on this site???  

@@TinkerSofi @@yycbride2016  Thanks you!!  I must admit that I still have second thoughts about the dress sometimes.  Shouldn't I love it on the hanger?  but it really does have everything I was looking for, and I think once I see it with the hair, and shoes and makeup, I won't be able to imagine wearing anything else.

As an aside, the frankenstein dress I was originally considering was from Truvelle, a canadian designer.  If anyone is still looking for a dress, her stuff is beautifully simple, light, and flattering.  Dear god, so flattering.

Speaking of the "bridal look"....am I crazy to think about spending $150+ on a pair of sandals???

https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/162219451/something-blue-sole-wedding-shoes?ref=hp_mod_rf

I kind of love them.  

I realize a lot of you are from Canada and might have different options, but where are you finding your shoes?  

Ooof.  things got a little hectic with work this weekend, but I plan to do another posting tonight re: adventures in centerpieces (which Mr. keeps telling me is too early to think about because we don't know how many tables we'll need yet until our guests have all booked, but I want to be ready to hit the ground running when they do!!)

As an aside, I've already started to get the smiling eye rolls because every time he asks me what I'm doing on my computer, I say "wedding stuff."  I'M A PLANNER.  I LIKE TO BE WELL-INFORMED.  

Thank you all for the kind words!  I can't even tell you how many hours I've spent on this website follow other people as they plan their weddings, so I'm really excited to share as well.  

@@vancouverpetunia @@acw271011  The zip pouches are from Lilly Pulitzer.  I believe there was one more color option....I may end up exchanging one of them that I have now for the third color so each girl has a different design.  They also had makeup bags (smaller, but open wider) that come in a ton of patterns.  

@@krystalball Ok, this is starting to get weird! haha.  My sister's baby will be about 8 months by the time of my wedding, but it's an adults-only resort.  I asked her if I should pick somewhere her kids could come, and she essentially said "hell no! I'm going to have 3 kids, and mama's gonna need a vacation!"  

Bridal Party and Attire:

I feel like I go very back and forth on this.  The Mr. and I decided on 3 attendants each.  I only wanted one or two, but he was having a hard time deciding, and wanted 4.  I thought, based on the pier location and the number of guests, that 4 just seemed like too many.  We compromised on 3.  I chose my sister, future SIL, and a good friend from grad school.  He chose his BIL, and two good friends.  We're having my brother officiate, which I'm super excited about.  I have always really enjoyed weddings where the officiant really knew the person, and my brother is just about perfect for it--he clearly knows us both, he's a very good public speaker, he's very funny, and (importantly) he's sober!  honestly, I did worry when Mr. suggested that his good friend do it for that reason.  4:00 gives people a lot of time to get drunk when it's all-inclusive.  I really hope that my brother make it a good mix of serious, because it is my wedding, but not TOO serious, if that makes sense. 

We're not religious, so I've been looking online and in our favorite books to find some good quotes/readings that we can use.  My good friend and bridesmaid just got married and used The Irrational Season by Madeline L'Engel (spelling that from memory!)  It was one of the options on my list, but I don't want to repeat hers, so I'm still on the hunt.  

As far as what they're wearing, I told my girls that they can choose their own dress, but to try to keep it in the color family of either the light blue or navy from my color palette.  (I also offered to help them look, since I didn't want the ENTIRE burden to fall on them).  I think, because I have 3 of them, there's really no way this can go wrong.  Say, e.g., only one picks navy...I can just have that one stand in the middle!  With an odd number, it will always look like it's on purpose.  Even if they each pick a different shade of light blue, I think it could still look good.  I was actually very inspired by this photo:  

Oh!  and on the topic of bridesmaids, I've been starting to think about what gifts I want to get them.  I had planned on buying their jewelry and maybe shoes......and then while looking at one of my favorite stores, I found these gorgeous beach-themed pouches!  They're big enough to be a clutch, or makeup bag, or whatever.  I figured I could get these, and then put whatever jewelry or other gifts inside them.  

I got two of each color shown (they're a bit more vibrant in person)......

@@JamaicaNicole   It's the Persiphone by Wtoo, in ivory.  The skirt underneath the tulle is a very pretty champagne color.  (and if you're interested, I think BHLDN just moved it to the sale section!)

Photographer:

I had initially planned on asking one of my good friends to take pictures for us.  She's not a professional, but has a good camera and an artistic eye.  Because of that, I really wanted to get some good engagement photos.  Neither the Mr. or I really like having our photo taken, so my main criteria were: 1) reasonably priced; and 2) going to take beautiful pictures of the city that we live in--that we just happen to be in the middle of.  Almost everyone in my office is married, so I asked around for some names.   We found Christian and his wife Melissa.  

http://www.christianplevaimages.com/boston-photographer-blog/

I was instantly comfortable with them--their style, demeanor, everything.  When we went in to discuss our engagement photos, they had just gotten back from shooting a wedding in mexico!  as those photos were showing in a slideshow while we talked, i kept getting distracted with how perfect they were.  I decided that my wedding photographer is not somewhere I want to save money.  The photos are the one part of the day that will last forever (except hopefully my marriage!).  

After some negotiation, they gave us an amazing deal.  So we'll be flying them down to Mexico with us.  Rather than pay the $800 vendor fee, we're having them stay 3 nights.  Hopefully, we'll have enough people book in our room block to earn a "free room"  that we can use for them.  

Now i just have to figure out where I can cut enough costs to pay for their flights 

@@LeighC Ummm, are you me? After reading this thread so far, I'm pretty sure that you're my doppelganger!

 

My FI and I have been together for 9 years, we met in University at a party when we were 20, he proposed over the Christmas break in a very laid-back way (after all the festivities with family and friends were done), we're getting married in Riviera Maya, and our wedding date is April 9, 2016! 

 

I'm so excited to follow your planning thread and see the decisions you make re: decorations and other little details since we're also going for a relaxed/laid back wedding. Looks like you've done a great job so far - and I love the dress!

That is too funny!  I am happy to say that we'll be squeaking in our wedding just shy of the 10 year anniversary.

When I told my dad the good news, he just sort of said "huh. i thought you two were just going to permanently date.  i didn't think marriage was your thing."   haha!  

Glad to know we're not the only ones who took our sweet time.  

Now that I've gotten going on this, I don't want to stop getting this all down!

Dress Shopping:

I actually went dress shopping on Valentine's Day!  I took my mom, sister, and one of my bridesmaids.  I fell in love with a dress at the very first store....well, kind of.  I fell in love with the top of one dress and the skirt of another, which I was told the designer could easily combine for me.  I had a really hard time committing to something I couldn't actually see, so I kept shopping.  We went to 3 different stores that day, and i tried on everything my group suggested.  I went into it with certain criteria (lightweight for beach, straps, deep v neck, flowy bottom, interesting back), but I tried on strapless, mermaid, sheath you name it.  The weird thing about wedding dresses is that they all look fantastic! It makes it very hard to stay true to what you want. There were definitely some contenders, but I kept going back to that first frankenstein dress.  So i didn't commit that day, and flew back home.  I ended up going to three more stores over the month, and probably tried on around 100 dresses, though a lot of them were immediate an immediate "no."

At BHLDN, while flipping through the racks, my future SIL pulled out a dress that seemed to match my criteria.  I said "eww.  no.  the beading looks so cheap!" and didn't even try it on.  Several weeks and two stores later, I happened to try on a dress that my consultant recommended...."it will look better on you than on the hanger."  I really liked it, but just couldn't make the final decision between that and the frankenstein dress.  Back home, I searched for pictures of this new option online, and low and behold, it was the same dress that I had passed over at BHLDN!  And it was several hundred dollars cheaper there!  

So i bit the bullet and ordered the dress.  Every time I put it on, i love it.  but when i look at it on the hanger....blech!  haha.  I didn't think I was going to be one of those women who had a "moment," but I'm very happy with my choice.   

It still needs some tailoring (i'm pretty small chested, so it's got some extra fabric up top).  I plan to lower the "v" at the base of the front neckline so there isn't so much netting without any beading on it.  I also plan to switch out the sash, but I haven't quite decided on the color yet.  The back is my favorite part (i couldn't do up the buttons on my own for the photos, but you get the idea--there's only a few of them)....and please ignore the mess in the background!:

Last post of the night  (so I say now )

Color Scheme:

I really love all the bright, tropical colors that people are using in their weddings!  for some reason, though, i just prefer lighter colors.  So I came across this beauty on pinterest, and it just seemed to fit me and the look i'm going for with my wedding.  I'm probably going to have to tweak the lighter pink/purple color slightly because it will be easier to find light pink flowers, but the blues are fantastic:

Save the Dates:

I'm not particularly crafty, so I decided just to order them online (obviously names are redacted).  I loved how fun these were, which will hopefully set the tone for a relaxed week/end.  We sent them out at the beginning of April, approximately 1 year out.  

@@vancouverpetunia  Congrats!  We can officially commiserate with each other, then!  I feel like we've gotten most of the easy things out of the way, now comes the little details.  I'll keep a close eye on your planning thread!

Wedding Events:

After much debate, we decided to keep it very simple and didn't plan any welcome events.  Our ceremony will be at 4:00 pm on a long pier over the water.....

We love that it will be private (i.e., no random people in bathing suits in our photos) and somewhat shaded for our guests.

For budget purposes, we decided to skip the cocktail hour and just have people hang out in a specified bar while we do photos. 

Reception will be under a large open palapa near the beach.

Very General Location Planning:

We always knew that we wanted a destination wedding, both for the fact that we didn't want to spend a ton of money, and just the amazing experience of having several days to hang out with all of our close friends and family.  After speaking to our immediate family to confirm they would be willing to travel and to figure out any major plans we needed to work around, we set a tentative date of April 2, 2016.   

We wanted to pick somewhere that was fairly easy to travel to for our guests, so no crazy remote locations.  We looked pretty seriously at jamaica, dominican republic, and mexico, but we were so overwhelmed with all the options that we decided to use a travel agent to help us narrow it down.  

We sat down together and made a very tentative guest list, and decided what we thought was a realistic price to ask people to pay.  I reached out to a travel agent that came recommended by another woman in my office, and we sent her the following list:

Hi everyone!  After months of lurking on here (and a few random posts) I'm officially ready to start my planning thread!  We're at T MINUS 10 MONTHS!

It looks like these things usually start with some background of us, so here it goes!

The Build Up:

Mr. and I met in college at a house party.  We're both very sarcastic people and we essentially gave each other shit the entire night...making fun of each others' majors, etc.  There was just something about the cute boy with the surfer hair, though, so I used what little info I had to facebook stalk him a couple days later.  It was easier back then when it was limited to college students!  We exchanged phone numbers and met up the next weekend.  Unfortunately, the next weekend happened to be my 21st birthday, which means I made a complete drunken fool of myself!  We count the dinner AFTER that as our official first date anniversary, haha!  That was 9 wonderful years ago.  We've been through so much--living across the country from each other, moving across the country together, graduate school, jobs, apartments, pets, SKYDIVING, etc..  I wouldn't change a thing. He is by far my favorite person, and we make each other better.

The Proposal:

There's no big story here, but it just wouldn't have been "him" if he had done something big and elaborate. I had actually found the ring box many months earlier and had been driving myself crazy about it!  (and no, I didn't open it!)  Every time we would go out to dinner, or go on a hike, or do anything remotely romantic, I expected that damn ring.  Once, he even surprised me with a gift in a small box before I left on a work trip.....it was earrings!  Such a sweet gesture, but I'm sure my jaw was just hanging.  Anyway, we had family visiting us for Xmas/Mr.'s birthday, so I figured it would happen then.  Nope.  Then I thought maybe on New Year's Eve.  Nope.  On January 2nd, we had a group skype call with a bunch of friends, then settled in to eat dinner.  As I'm carrying dirty dishes to the kitchen, he goes into the bedroom and grabs the box.  He proposed kneeling on our kitchen floor.  I SOBBED.  I don't really remember what he said, but I just remember him being so sweet.  He had to ask me a couple times because I forgot to say yes!  

The Ring:

I mean, come on, it's gorgeous!

@@AllieH

Thanks for the reply.....if there's no other current brides there, maybe that just means they'll be EXTRA  accommodating for me

I'll keep an eye on the EDR threads for the basic info.  

@@ashhtayy

I would murder my guests if they pulled that!   I realize we can't rely on our guests to subsidize our weddings, but for me at least, I'm really counting on a couple "free" rooms to be earned based on the number of guests who book.  I want to be able to help out my dad (who is helping me pay for the wedding) and also use one for my photographer (which is the only reason I can afford to fly him in from Boston).

haha, thanks! I have these grand ideas about painting the clay ombre, but we'll see if I actually get around to it.  I had all this gas at the beginning because it felt like I had to get the resort locked down asap, but now I really just spend all my time on pinterest without making any more actual decor decisions.

@@LeighC

Wow! I wouldn't worry about anything if I were you. You are so organized. I feel like you have more things in place than I do and my wedding is just about 2 months before yours I love the clay hanging backdrop! It looks like seashells almost! Its really pretty!

We are getting married June 7th, 2016 at Azul Fives. All we've done is book our resort (AF Sky Deck), sent STDs (44 booked - deadline is less than one week) and completed website.

We're going to start all our planning in July after my two best friends weddings are done

Did you get any push back from guests regarding such an early deadline?  We only blocked off enough rooms for around half the amount of guests, and we're very close to having enough people put deposits down to start eating into the blocked rooms, but I feel like I'm hounding people!

So I've asked around on this site a little, and I'm a bit freaked out that there don't seem to be any recent brides at my resort....hopefully that's not a sign!!!

I think I'm in good shape planning-wise.  I have:

1. date and venue

2. wedding website

3. travel agent

4. photographer

5. wedding dress

6. color scheme

7. DJ (by that, I mean my ipod )

8. Wedding party outfits selected

9. save the dates sent out in April (1 year out)

10. invitations designed, but not ordered

11. approximately 1/2 of our guests have put down their deposits.

Right now, I'm really just trying to get an idea of what I want to do for decorations (i.e., what I can afford), and starting to look for Welcome Bags.  I'm getting married at the end of a long pier over the water, and I want to create some sort of backdrop.  I saw a DIY for making some hanging clay garlands that I like, but I don't want to block too much of the ocean view, and I worry about getting it down to Mexico without becoming a big tangled mess.  Thoughts?

http://www.ruffledblog.com/diy-clay-pod-backdrop/?utm_source=crowdignite.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=crowdignite.com

I know i'm a little late to this thread, but you should be glad you didn't buy the second dress.  I have a body type similar to yours and I tried that on.  I thought it was cut in all the wrong places and the satin finish made it look cheap.  (sorry if someone else on here bought it, but it just wasn't my style).  The dress you bought is beautiful.

on a separate note, I've seen some very dressy brides on beaches, and they still look fantastic.  I wouldn't worry too much about a little bling.