echo2_62

Well it might be different in the US, or the place the guys hired the girl from here was just too small town for anyone to think the girl needed to worry. And I was told that she was "technically" hired as a topless bartender only, but upping the money a little removed the rest of her clothes very quickly. Plus I didn't believe that she was clothed from the second I heard that someone was privately hired. But seriously, this girl totally had a screw loose because she got so drunk that she passed out and the guys had to call her boss to come pick her up. How stupid would you have to be to do that?!?! SO many bad things could have happened to her if it had been a different group of guys.

Yah just an FYI that topless bartender = naked chick (especially if privately hired). The guys casually tried to pass off that she was at least wearing panties but that was basically just to have something on when she arrived. Also, if you hire a stripper to come wherever you are then there likely aren't going to be bouncers there AT ALL to monitor anything. It will be free reign that whatever the guys feel like paying for, they can most likely get. Honestly, if you have genuine concerns about this you need to make it very clear to FI -especially if you already know that he gives in easily to pressure from the other guys. It's totally not worth risking IMO and I can totally relate that you'd take your (ADORABLE) dog and leave if something did happen. I was pretty close to it myself!

Quote: Originally Posted by Vallarta_2009 We ordered that exact dress for our bridesmaids in Blackberry and they all love the dress and I have a couple of girls who aren't super thin. The dress is very flatering and they can wear it any way they want. Some of the style options are really nice and will look very pretty on the beach. Before I ordered them I found a dress in the same colour on ebay for $70 that I bought as a test dress so the girls could check it out and then decide if it was for them. Well they all have their dresses now and can't stop trying them on to figure out which way they want to wear them! Sorry - we didn't get the A-line, we got the flirty convertible dresses: Victoria's Secret - Flirty Convertible Dress This is the exact same dress my BM's bought too! And in the exact same colour! They all LOVE this dress and have definitely found more than 7 ways to wear it for sure! We've also got a mixture of body sizes/types and it seems to work across the board. Haha, plus even though they're all wearing different styles for the ceremony itself (I told them to pick whatever style they each liked best), as the night goes on they're going to switch it around so for an hour they'll all be in one style, then change into another style to mess with everyone a little I can't wait to see how they pull it off! Quote: Originally Posted by t1219 I also was looking at VS dresses for my bm's but they weren't sure they wanted them bc they said sweat would show more with the jersey knit fabric....just a thought We got a dark colour so I don't think sweat will be a problem but this material isn't a typical jersey knit like you would think of a t-shirt being. It's a much finer, kind of silky material so it might not be as clingy and hot as a normal jersey would be!?

Holy crap Jenna!!! I can't imagine how excited you are to leave in three days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I still have two weeks to go and already I'm getting tingly nerves about it It must've been super nice to see FI even for a little while this weekend, and good to hear that he had a good bach. weekend as well. And I think it's amazing that you're all packed and in just three or four bags total!! I won't have much more than that (I don't think) but you must be super efficient! And p.s. AWESOME steal getting ten sundresses for $60 - way to go!

I'm so sorry that you've got all this stuff hanging over your head right now The other girls are right, I think, that even though you can't completely ignore the things your family is going through you also can't be the one responsible for everything else going on. When I read your comment that you don't even feel like you can be excited for your own wedding, I could totally relate based on a conversation that FI and I had last night. He is worried that I'm getting too stressed about little details b/c we didn't want anything fancy from the beginning. He said it's turning into too much of a "wedding" for him! We all know it's hard not to get caught up in the details no matter how much we try to avoid them, but some of these "wedding" things (yah, like making favours for everyone!) are what gets me excited too! Ugh talk about bubble bursting. Remember that people are always going to have things going on in their lives no matter when you were trying to plan your wedding. And I can bet that even if you were having a local wedding, there would be some family members who would have problems with what date, or what weekend, or where they had to drive to etc. and you'd still end up with a bunch of headaches. As FI tells me - let other people take care of themselves and just deal with the things that directly involve you and your FI. That's as much control as you can have (he says to me, the control freak!). This is your day and you need to do what's right for the two of you!!

I can't even imagine how frustrated and angry you must be. I would definitely be getting in touch with the lawyer whose number they provided but also contacting the Better Business Bureau in your area to report them and see if they can provide any assistance in getting your money back. I really hope that you're able to find something else you love in the meantime, if the designer doesn't have your dress afterall!

Quote: Originally Posted by *Nadine* I don't think any girl is alone in feeling like this. My FI was in vegas for his bach. party in may and they did go to the strippers. The only thing I said was 'you guys can go to the strippers but the strippers cant come to you'. Of course they are guys and more importantly all his friends would want to go to the strippers, its man nature. However, I am so against the 'hiring' of private strippers, thats just skeezy and Im not comfortable wtih it. I also said I would prefer him not to get a lap dance and he said he wouldnt but he also said he didnt think it was that big of a deal cause of cousre he loves me and would never do anything. So I said 'ok so you would be ok with me getting on another guys lap in my thong and rubbing my boobs in his face??' and FI's face was absolutely priceless, and he said 'ok, I understand'.. Sometimes they just need to see it from our prespective. Quote: Originally Posted by sjmacphe This is tough - he asked me today if I wanted to call this friend and tell him to call the whole thing off, he says I am making him feeling guilty and terrible and now he doesn't even want to go...I mean what does he expect, I'm going to be happy about it? He's told me time and time again I have nothing to worry about - and he has never done anything to make me not believe that...So why can't I just be ok and secure in that fact? I think for me I feel that it is unfair, there is a trip I turned down to Mexico with all my single friends cause I thought that we were trying to save money (and the fact he didn't really like the idea). Now he's just like - do whatever, I don't care - I know he doesn't really mean it though. He feels like me and his friend are both pulling him...but he feels like an ass telling his friend he doesn't want this bachelor party... I'm glad I told him how I feel, I think he's probably still going to go but he's going to have to make it up to me - I am going to Vegas one day (probably in a year or 2) with my friends too and there's nothing he can say about it. Okay so I saw this thread and had to pop in an opinion. Nadine's comment couldn't have put my own thoughts into words any better. I've never really had a problem with FI going out to the strippers (he doesn't like them but like many others will go with the guys for some beers) and I've gone with him and our friends a few times anyways! But here's where my problem - and caution to many of you - come in to play. A few weekends ago FI had his bach. party and the guys who planned it were very secretive the entire time. From the very beginning of their planning, I had thought I was being pretty reasonable in not being the girl who gives them rules and restrictions on what they can and cannot do - i even said that if they went out to the strippers that wasn't a problem but my ONE limitation was that I was really uncomfortable with anyone in his personal space ie. no lap dances, hooter shooters etc. If I was there with him it would be one thing but I know straight up that I can't handle the thought of it otherwise. And I figured that since the guys planning/going are ALL in serious relationships or married already, I could trust that they would understand where I was coming from. I found out quite late in the game that they were taking FI out to a ski hill where they'd rented a chalet for the weekend which obviously sounded like a great idea. Until they got home and FI told me (in a series of conversations that went from bad to worse) that the guys had hired a "topless bartender" who in reality was a naked girl that hung out there half the night serving drinks and giving lap dances. If you hadn't guessed it by now, I was livid and totally went off the handle. I was completely and utterly crushed that not only would my friends disregard me like that, they deliberately planned for this to happen. And FI went along with it, knowing that I was uncomfortable but thinking that it wouldn't be that big a deal for me. Under any circumstances before this, I've had the most unquestionable trust and faith in Fi and would never have thought that he'd give in to the group of guys so easily. He just didn't want to disappoint them and he chose them over me in that moment. As a result, I now have some serious issues with our friends because of the complete and utter lack of respect that they have shown for me, FI and our relationship and even after some discussions with them I am having a difficult time in continuing to talk with or about them, or even have any sort of social connections with them. And even worse, it created such a huge rift between FI and I that we were seriously discussing whether we should be getting married right now after all. I know it was a mistake on his part and that mistakes happen, but this was just something that I couldn't believe could take place when I thought that I had already made it clear how I felt. It also doesn't help that the general opinion of the guys (and FI too sadly) was that they had done nothing wrong at all, would do it again, and basically feel like i shouldn't have had a say in the matter from the beginning because this is the "guys" thing to do. Yes, I am livid beyond belief! Nearly three weeks later, FI and I have managed to mostly patch things up again but I'm still bothered even thinking of that girl having been so close to him! I'm hugely possessive of FI to begin with (something I wasn't like with any guy ever before) and have just been unable to completely get over this. I know the stripper meant nothing to HIM but it most definitely meant something to ME and that's why we're having so many problems now. So here's my advice to any of you that are uncomfortable with your FI going to the strippers, with having a stripper hired in etc.... MAKE YOUR FEELINGS VERY WELL KNOWN. Spell out exactly the detail of what you are uncomfortable with and exactly how much it bothers you. Don't make light suggestions and assume that will be enough. Be straight forward and blunt and don't ever feel bad about it. It's true that you are marrying FI for a reason, and not any of the other guys you're friends with, so he's the one that needs to be absolutely clear on where you stand. My FI has said that if he'd really known how upset this would make me, he'd never have gone along with the guys in the first place because it wasn't worth causing such huge problems for us. We've never, ever questioned a thing in our relationship before now so this was a HUGE blow for us. So please, please learn from my situation and don't ever worry about being "that girl" if you truly have a problem with the things that may occur. It's better to have your friends feel like you're being overbearing than to have something happen that might jeopardize your entire relationship. p.s. FI has volunteered that he will never, ever again go within 100m of a stripper again without my clear and absolute approval ahead of time. He also knows that the next bach. party that comes around there is a good chance he will NOT be attending if the guys end up planning another stripper appearance.

Yikes I've got a little catching up to do from last night I love it! Tracy - I remember you asking somewhere in there about when Suzy and I were doing my flowers? I should be receiving them by Monday at the latest so we'll have to get to work either one evening next week, or possibly Friday since I'll be off work for the easter weekend. I know most people (including Suzy!) will be busy making dinner but I guess that's time not having nearby family can be seen as an advantage - no obligatory holiday meals. But of course I LOVE holiday meals so I will prob. still be cooking something It's actually funny now that half the time I go over to Suzy's place I start off by apologizing to her FI since I'm usually bringing over new ideas and causing a little trouble! He just laughs though because he's realized how alike the two of us are and there's no stopping us! LOL! Mel - that's awesome that you got your favours all done up last night. I'm trucking through mine pretty well right now too so it's a good feeling knowing they'll be done soon enough Ooooh! And speaking of fuschia and black - I saw this GORGEOUS little dress in those colours at the bridal salon where I picked up the girls shoes yesterday. It was on sale too but unfortunately too small for me otherwise I'd have snatched it right up!

erin that's awesome about your flowers!! It'll be such a GREAT feeling to get so much taken off your list! And its so cute that you sneak in to wear your ring for a little while. I have to admit that everytime I make FI try his band on, it totally gives me goosebumps! I absolutely love it. I think since I'm so used to wearing a ring, that's the closest I can relate to your guilty pleasure I'm excited right now because I just picked up the sandals for all the girls which includes MY sandals that I'm wearing with my wedding dress. They are SO the perfect colour of blue and while I wish a little bit that I had something slightly more fancy, I wouldn't trade the colour for anything. So I can now officially say that clothing for the wedding party is officially DONE AND DONE! Woohoo! With just two and a half weeks to go LOL!

sorry, we booked everything as a package deal straight through a couple of airlines here, and not through a TA.

Aww I am SOO jealous of your e-pics!! I was trying to convince my FI to do the same thing and he just thought I was crazy! Love, love these and congrats!!!

Hey Kara - you've definitely come to the right place! Try to just step back and take things one step at a time whenever you can. Whether you're getting everyone booked on your own, or using a travel agent - there's lots of ladies here who have done both and can definitely help you out. p.s. I love N.O.T.L. and wish I was there to visit more often! I lived in Burlington for a long time and went to school in St Catharines! FI loved our summer trip back there and wants to go back for more wine tours soon

FI and I have had some interesting conversations about me changing my name. He's very firm that his family name be carried on, but like a few others I'm one of the last carrying my current family name. And like a few others, the person I am is most definitely known in association with my name (my last name is O'Reilly and my nickname is Irish - go figure!!) so it will be really sad for me to lose it. Yes, I'm taking his last name and no hyphenation. But we did come up with two compromises. While FI doesn't like the idea, I will likely be converting my last name to a second middle name. Then we both get our way. The second compromise - we name one of our kids Riley. So it's not quite the same as carrying on with the family name but it will at least keep it going in some form. I know others who have done the same thing and it worked to make everyone involved happy. And I have to admit the one good thing about changing my last name is that in computer code language (boring I know!) an apostrophe is more commonly used than it used to be, so with "O'Reilly" I am constantly running into errors in various computer systems, emails and tons of stuff online! So in that sense, it will definitely be less headaches once I change!

YAAAAY!!! Congrats! There is a whole other thread dedicated to us brides at DPA and I can guarantee it will be a TON of help for you over the next few months. I'll be heading down there myself in 18 days! Here's the link to get you started - DPA thread.

Thanks Janna! I didn't see your post last night about uploading from an email account so I'll get on it tonight if you don't have any other help before that I've been trying to stay really calm about the things that I haven't gotten done yet because FI really gets frustrated when he sees me upset about stuff. So last night I said that even though he was in a good, happy mood I was still suspicious that something was wrong. And I was right! He's worried that I'm getting too panicked over little details which was what we wanted to avoid by having a DW in the first place. He knows I can get to the point of practically being sick with anxiety so he's promised now to help more so that I don't feel so stressed! What a guy!!

Aww Jenna I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time with your wedding band! I can relate a little bit with finding a big change between your two bands when they're separate vs. together because I was having a bit of the same problem. If you saw my e.ring on it's own, you'd only notice the solitaire that i've got, and if you saw my wedding band alone you'd think it was the skinniest tiny little thing ever (sugar crystals are larger than the diamonds in my wedding band LOL!). But when I wear them together all of a sudden the overall look seems a heck of a lot bigger than what I'd pictured from the two separate items. The girls are right that it's totally how you feel when you're wearing your rings - and if it feels like they take up your entire finger from knuckle to knuckle then don't at all feel bad about wanting to change it to something that you like better! You have to remember that you paid the jeweller to make your ring. You paid for his services. So if you aren't happy with the final product then it's totally your right to say something about it and work with him to get it fixed. It's true that you might not get it done quite in time for your actual wedding, but don't let that stop you from getting what you really want. And don't be sad at the thought of maybe not having it for your ceremony either - a lot of couples don't feel safe traveling with their expensive jewelry and just use substitutes anyways! If it makes you feel any better, we've had FI's ring sitting at home for months now and just two days ago decided that we weren't entirely sure if the size was right so we ordered a completely new ring (it was all online) because we didn't think we had time to do an exchange! If the smaller one doesn't come before we leave, we're just hoping he doesn't lose the larger size while we're in Mexico!! Wait and find out what your options are before you get too far into panic mode - it might be an easy fix afterall!

I should hopefully have my real touch flowers my the beginning of next week so Suzy and I will be hard at work soon after (since I don't have time to wait!!). Tracy don't think that your flowers are crappy at all! Each of us will have a different idea of what suits our own weddings & personalities etc anyways so even if we all used the same things, there would be a ton of different results. I've got the house to myself this evening so I'm being a powerhouse and trying to get through a whole bunch of stuff on my list. It's amazing what I can do without having to take care of FI all night LOL!!! Tonight on the hit list - favour boxes! My sister and I are also colouring my hair tonight as we go. It's going to take a couple steps so we'll do a bit now, and the rest - like highlights - right before we leave for MX.

Mel - I'm sorry you're home sick this week! I've been on a "power boost" from my trainer the last couple weeks... putting in three heavy duty workouts each week and it really hit me yesterday! I'm totally in deficit mode right now but thankfully I just have one more week of it. I'm worried that as soon as my body is able to relax from all this, I'm going to get slammed with sickness since that's what usually happens with me. My nervous energy keeps all the viruses and nasty germs at bay! Michele - I like your list too! I think that's the direction I'm heading for sure! I was also worried about FI not having enough clothes so we bought him a couple new pairs of shorts and golf tees. We're just getting summer clothes in the stores now and I'm having a really hard time finding shorts for myself which is not a good thing!

Aww very sweet Tara! It's funny how you end up with the perfect person sometimes though! And I love your outlook on your past relationship - that even though it ended you have your two beautiful girls. More people should think that way! And for photo books, check out the costco or walmart websites... I think I heard you can do them on there. Otherwise if you have a Mac computer (or know someone who does) they've definitely got an application through the Photo Album on there to do it. That might be the option I go with since I'm trying to learn how to use my Mac more frequently.

A quick add-in since I just saw Michele's post - I would totally be insane if people were still not RSVP'd and/or booked. We had one guy who hadn't booked as of last week and then emailed to say he wasn't able to come now - but we suspected all along that this is what he would do so it was never a huge worry. There's only one item from vistaprint that I'd ordered with his name on it and that was the card to write in all our guests room numbers once we're there so I'm not too worried at all. Sadly there are a few other things I wanted to order from vistaprint but I don't think I have the mental capacity to take on any more projects right now! I caved in and ordered some real-touch flowers yesterday. The woman I have been working with was fantastic and did her best to help me get what I wanted and have them sent from Ontario right away. She even post them with expedited shipping instead of standard so that they get here a little faster. And of course I have recruited the wonderful work of Suzy to help me get everything together!!!! LOL! Or at least, I think she knows that she's helping me - I'm just going to assume yes! HAHA! So I'd mentioned a few posts back that I seem to have this monster list of DIY stuff to finish still and I realized that now that I have it written down it might be manageable despite the size. And then I figured why not go one step further and post it here... even though most of you are a few steps ahead of me already I think. Music list - yes still have to do this! Finish OOT bags - little stuff like tying pens on our postcards, making tags to know whose bag is whose etc Finish hankies for mom's & gramma's - getting embroidery done this weekend Finish assembling my favour boxes - just figured out how to do this last night! YAY! Finish place cards for tables Get all decorations items counted and packed together. Put together bridesmaids gifts (and harass FI to finish the GM gifts!) Print all emails, contracts, receipts; make copies of passports, credit cards, medical insurance cards, emergency phone numbers. Oh and of course work, eat, sleep, workout, pack, panic and BREATHE! LOL!

Great job mIchele! I can't believe that you had the patience to order all your bags and tees from Vistaprint one at a time. Way to go! You're going to need to seek some therapy for your VP withdrawal once all this wedding stuff is done

I had to make a second post to say THANK YOU for the great review Janna! OMG I cannot wait to see your pictures!!!!!!!! I've been worried about a few things lately and you really helped me get some of it in perspective. Like a lot of other brides on here, I'm a little bit of a control freak (okay a LOT about everything!) and I've been doing okay so far until now As for getting your pictures on here, photobucket probably is the best option BUT if you didn't know already - I'm pretty sure you can upload straight from an email account or website so that might save you some time (and additional headaches!!) from having to go through and upload all of your pics all over again. I can't access photobucket from my work computer (crap, damn, stink!) so if you need more help I can check it at home tonight. It was pretty straightforward though if I remember correctly. Thanks again SO MUCH! Down to 19 days until departure for me.... I'm getting SO EXCITED!!!! EEEK!

HAha thanks Janna! I've totally list my brain lately and can't remember what conversations I've had with who, or even whether they were in person or online! LOL! But at least I totally did remember I really appreciate the insider info about the uneven ground at the lagoon - that will totally impact our decision if it's just too difficult for his family to maneuver. Hey here's a question for you - I've got strings of mini lights that I wanted to put up above our reception area somehow. Between the lagoon, poolside etc... does one had an advantage over the other for that sort of idea?

Thanks Kerri! I posted on your thread Welcome back too! Must have been SO nice to have three weeks off work!

Did you do a full legal name change too? Or just assume your new hubby's last name? I'm guessing the latter but thought I'd check since you mentioned changing it on my SIN card which I hadn't thought of! Thanks so much for posting this!!