DMB 1980, sorry to hear your family is having difficulty understanding your decision to have a DW. Everyone has their own idea of what a wedding "should" look like, but bottom line, it's YOUR wedding. I had some mixed feelings at first about our decision to do a DW, but it made the most sense for us and was the most appealing, and now I'm more excited than ever! Luckily, our families have been very supportive.
In the end, you have to have the special day that you and your future husband want, not what you think others want.
Best of luck, and stay strong!