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How late is too late to change the date??

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#1 lyrebard

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    Posted 13 December 2007 - 09:21 AM

    Hope I'm posting in the right place. I just need input, because I can't think of where else to go for advice on this one.

    My partner is an MD/PhD student who's slated to graduate June 5th (at long last!). To the best of our knowledge, most residency programs start on July 1, so we scheduled our wedding to take place on June 21 in order to give us time between graduation and wedding, and time between wedding and residency start-date.

    But the more interviews he goes on, the more scared he gets. Some of these places are asking their new residents to start as early as June 12! And since we won't know until mid-March which program he's been accepted to, we're starting to worry a bit. We obviously chose our date very carefully, according to when we though we could do it and when we thought our loved ones' schedules would permit them to come. We put money down on the venue (a lot of money!), gave a photographer his deposit, and reserved a block of rooms at a hotel. We sent out most save-the-date cards a little less than a month ago.

    So my etiquette question is: If the venue, photographer, and hotel can accommodate switching us to a week earlier, is it too late to ask our guests to change their schedules? Is it crazy to think about changing ours?

    I don't even know what to think anymore. I just know I'm too close to the situation to view it rationally.

    Thanks in advance for the advice!!!

    #2 TammyWright


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    Posted 13 December 2007 - 09:44 AM

    if people have not booked their flights and they can change tehir hotel reservation i dont see a problem...

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    #3 Jessica

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      Posted 13 December 2007 - 09:44 AM

      yikes! well has anyone booked yet?! if most people haven't booked yet, or if those guests who did book can change their reservations without losing $$$ then I think it would be ok. you may see some people who were going to come drop out if they needed that time to save $$ or vacation time.

      wait... i just read that you only want to move it up a week... right? well i would think that should be ok. i would find out asap though about the venue, photog, etc so you can let your guests know. it should be fine.

      good luck to your partner! that's quite an accomplishment!!!

      #4 bre

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        Posted 13 December 2007 - 10:50 AM

        If your guests have not made hotel or flight reservations yet, I'm sure they will be understanding of the circumstances. However, if they have already spent $$$ they may not be as understanding...

        Good luck!!!!
        Bre & Pete
        January 19, 2008
        El Dorado Royale

        #5 rodent


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          Posted 13 December 2007 - 10:52 AM

          I think the main thing we need to know is if people will lose money.

          I'm so sorry you are dealing with this!!

          #6 lyrebard

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            Posted 13 December 2007 - 12:21 PM

            Thanks for the input, everyone.

            I don't *think* people will lose money. We aren't requiring firm reservations until mid-March, so I don't know that anyone's put money down on anything yet. The likelier scenario is that we'll lose people -- the earlier in June we go, the smaller the chance that our friends in school (both those who teach school and those who go to school) will be able to make it.

            Of course, just heard back from the photog (the fabulous Matt Adcock), and — as I pretty much expected, given the demand for his time — he's totally booked up through June and can't reschedule us for any time that month.

            Now, I guess, we just have to think really hard about our needs, wants, and things we'd be willing to give up one way or another.

            Any additional advice always appreciated.

            #7 rodent


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              Posted 13 December 2007 - 12:48 PM

              You can get insurance so that if you did have to cancel, you'd be able to refund everyone's money & get back what you spent. I think someone said they got $40,000 for $400. I'll look for the post. I know that is not what anyone would want to do.

              #8 rodent


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                Posted 13 December 2007 - 12:49 PM


                post #10 in this thread

                #9 Christine

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                Posted 13 December 2007 - 01:11 PM

                hmm well is there an advisor your FI can talk to at school and find out what the chances are he will have to change the date?
                I wonder if he can arrange his schedule for that particular week and meet you there.
                Christine + Will (married 7/20/07) + Ainsleigh (born 6/25/08) + Nolan (born 11/9/10) + Delaney (born 12/31/13) = One Very Happy Family!

                #10 lyrebard

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                  Posted 13 December 2007 - 01:34 PM

                  Problem is, the residency-matching program is totally random. Applicants apply to all these schools, and then rank their top choices. The schools rank their top applicants. Then the whole thing gets thrown into a computer that spits out the "best match" for each student, assuming they get matched at all.

                  But he won't know which school he's been matched to until March 17. Thus, he doesn't really have a way to determine whether his new hospital will let him start late, because he doesn't know which hospital it's going to be. Ack!

                  That's a good idea about the trip insurance, though. Thanks, Morgan. I'll check into that right now!

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