Guys. I am about to fly off the handle.
I am being THAT PERSON and attaching screenshots because I swear I wouldn't even believe this was real if it wasn't happening to me.
A few days ago I made a PRIVATE Facebook group for our wedding guests, just for everyone to have a place to ask questions or to post and reminders or info.
Yesterday, I get this notification that one of the groomsmen's girlfriends has invited two people I've never even heard of to be in the group.
I, of course, think she must have just clicked a wrong button or something because WHY WOULD SOMEONE INVITE STRANGERS TO BE A PART OF MY WEDDING FACEBOOK GROUP?!
So, I ask.
I don't think I can accurately convey how infuriating this is. Having someone tell ME who is coming to MY wedding.
So, the backstory: my FI works at a small specialty machining shop with only 7 guys or so. The boss is the father of one of my best friends/bridesmaids, and one of his coworkers/groomsmen (the more I write about this stuff the more I realize how strangely intertwined all of our relationship are, haha). So, their entire family is coming to the wedding. Corey's best man also works at the shop, so basically the shop will have to shut down during wedding week because pretty much no one will be there.
Now, apparently, the boss has decided to pay for EVERYONE to go to Mexico.
For those of you keeping track, that is 6 more people total because of the one guy's girlfriend (although ONE of those people was ACTUALLY invited, because believe it or not we really did sentd save the dates to people we wanted to be a part of our special day, so he doesn't count. So we're talking 5 univited guests).
I am just beside myself, and so is my FI.
I've literally never heard Corey mention this Michael guy - they're not close. I'm sorry, but I don't want him AND his girlfriend there.
What the heck do I do? How do I tactfully go around saying "Hey, just wondering if you were expecting to be invited to the ceremony and reception, because if you were you're wrong." Or, more accurately, how do I get my FI to do that?
How do you tell people you've never spoken to in your life that they're not invited to your wedding when someone else has apparently invited them?
At a normal wedding, I think it's pretty much assumed that you're only invited if you get an invitation. This feels like a free for all. At this point I should just hire a big burly bouncer at the door of the wedding and have people present their invitations to be allowed in like some fancy VIP club or something!
I've said all along that people can bring whoever they want to Mexico since it's their vacation too. This works out fine with strangers and people I don't know, because of course they wouldn't expect to be invited to the wedding (although that wasn't the case with the original reason for this post...) But now it's just messy when people are inviting our acquaintances, who might then assume that they're invited to the wedding activities.
I'm just at a loss. Now my poor FI has to be put in this awkward position of having to figure out how to convey that some of his coworkers are allowed at the wedding and some of them weren't invited. I have no idea what to do. I want to send out a memo to the entire world saying "FYI, you're not invited to a wedding unless the couple expressly invites you to be there, even if it's a Destination Wedding." Can I sent out non-invitations? "This document is to inform you that you are not invited to the Salyer Dean wedding since apparently a lack of an invitation is not enough to convey that message, you heathens."
This was mostly a rant post, but if anyone has any suggestions they would be greatly appreciated!
(BONUS RANT: SO, the boss is giving each employee $1500, including wives and girlfriends, to go on a vacation....what do my FI and his best man get, who already paid for the trip on their own? All of his coworkers are essentially getting a $1500 - $3000 bonus because my FI is getting married....while he and his best man get nothing because they were obviously already planning to attend. That may sound greedy, but how is that fair???)
Just wow! I am beside myself how people can do this!? I can only imagine how you feel. This literally pisses me off and it's not even my wedding!
Honestly, I would send the memo to everyone saying that if they didn't get an invite they're not invited to the wedding. Maybe add a line saying that this is an intimate wedding with only family and close friends.
At this point I wouldn't even be worried about being rude, because they've forced you into this position. They have been extremely rude to you and you have no choice but to put a stop to the madness. I wouldn't even care who gets mad and if they say something I'd just reply "have you ever invited yourself to anyone else's wedding? what makes mine any different?"