I've read about dozens of destination brides on this forum having similar issues so I know my problem is nothing unique, but I just need to vent!
I've been a little more lax about how who and how many people have been invited to our DW, because my parents are footing the bill at the resort (God bless 'em!) Because of this, my mom has invited some of her friends and co-workers that don't exactly fall within the circle of "close family and friends," but that's totally fine with me. My parents are kind enough to pay for that part of the wedding, so of course they can invite some of their friends to join in on the vacation, even if that means a little more expense for me for invitations, OOT bags, etc - no biggie. The entire process we've basically said "The more the merrier!" Last I checked we have 50 people booked, and it seems like a really fun group.
Now....my best friend's mom/mom's best friend (they are one in the same), is bringing their whole family to make it their family vacation for the year--in addition to her husband, my friend/bridesmaid/her daughter and her boyfriend, they are also bringing her older son and his girlfriend, neither of whom I know particularly well, and their 18 year old son. Again, no big deal--my mom and I are very close to this other mother/daughter duo so I'm happy to have the rest of the family at my wedding, even if I don't know them quite as well.
BUT, the other day my mom says "Did you hear that (insert 18 year old's name) is bringing two friends to Mexico?" Uh, no. I asked if she expected them to come to the actual wedding, and my mom said she think's that's what my mom's friend would assume. Excuse me?! You're inviting two random teenagers to my relatively intimate wedding without even asking me, let alone informing me? I was so furious (perhaps a little over dramatically, but UGH). I know that you booked trips for your entire family and I rolled with that, but that doesn't mean you can keep tacking on people I don't know!
Especially when, to be honest, I'm not particulary thrilled that the 18 year old son is going to be there in the first place--he's constantly posting things to his social media pages that I find EXTREMELY offensive to my faith and beliefs, to the point where I had to block him so something wouldn't accidentally appear on my timeline because I found the things he was saying so upsetting. Considering that my and my fiance's religious beliefs will be a big part of our ceremony, it's already kind of annoying that we'll have someone so disrespectful in the audience who will probably be sitting there rolling his eyes...but ANYWAY, whatever, I can deal with that.
But I just don't want two other random 18 year olds running around my wedding (probably getting drunk and obnoxious at the open bar if how the kid has acted in the past is any indication). I don't care if they come to Mexico--it's their vacation too and they can have whoever they want come down, it's no skin off my nose. But I don't think I should be required to have them at my ceremony. I know that most people say that you have to let every guest bring a date/friend, even if you don't know the person, but this doesn't feel like the same thing since he's coming with his entire family.
How should I deal with telling my mom's friend/friends mom this? I've read a lot of posts with similar issues where people explained that they have a tight budget and can't just be adding people, but that's not so much my issue since they know that I'm not personally paying for it, and that we've been pretty easy going about adding other guests.
Or should I just let it go? Is this one of those things that seems like a huge deal pre-wedding that won't make a bit of difference to me the day of?
My mom told me not to stress about it too much since they're 18 year old boys and when push comes to shove they might not be able to come up with the money to go, so it might be a moo point (like a cow's opinion - it doesn't matter! , but I'd rather be prepared with how to deal with it if and when they book.
WHEW, I feel better just writing all that out