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You're right @@calgarybride2015, definitely bigger problems to have than people wanting to celebrate with you! 

 

The difference between my sister's and my wedding though is she DID have a lot of her future in-laws that were not coming to Mexico, so her shower was really important as the only wedding activity the aunts, cousins, grandmas were participating in. 

 

My fiancé and I, on the other hand, don't have that. Neither one of us is very close with our extended families and even if we were they don't live anywhere near us where they would be able to come to a shower. For example, sister-in-law and stepmom (both of whom I am close with) live thousands of miles away. So the people we would invite to our shower are close friends and will be the same people who are going to come to Jamaica with us. I'll do something special with the girls before Jamaica, it is just that a traditional shower doesn't feel necessary. 

 

I totally understand. I also have no close family here. Just one aunt.

 

I don't want anything called a 'shower'  maybe a bon voyage party... or something less formal that leads into the stagette for those older ladies who don't want to go out late at night with the shenanigans!

Edited by calgarybride2015

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We aren't doing a registry but we did mention if people still wanted to bring cards to the wedding, there will be a spot for them at the reception. I know some guests would think it's asking too much to give a gift while others would feel weird about not giving something. So the cards allow people to either put money in or give a card with well wishes and nobody has to know what everyone else did and doesn't matter to me. We won't be expecting anything but if it happens, great. We live in a condo so any gifts would just make us feel even more claustrophobic. 

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I agree with the other ladies on a registry when you're having a DW. I know you will have guests that aren't able to attend with you to your destination. Perhaps for them, with help, you could put a list together of possible gifts, just not through a registry. But as mentioned earlier, with people spending upwards of $1500 to $2000 I for one would be offended if someone was to expect me to get a registry gift on top of paying to attend.  Most registry gifts aren't usually in the lower price range.

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We aren't registering either.  I like the idea of writing in the invites "your presence is our present" or something along those lines. 

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I am torn about this as well.

 

I visited with a friend recently that is invited to the wedding.  She asked about a registry and I told her that we didn't really want to do one because everyone was travelling for the wedding.  She said people will still want to get us something, and that her and her husband did as well.

 

I think we may put a registry up on our website, but not include the information in the invites.  And we will do so with the disclaimer that their presence is gift enough, and we really encourage people to take the money and put it towards enhancing their holiday.  But if they cannot attend and want to send something, or still wish to give us something, we will have a couple (cheap) ideas - I'm thinking like a toaster, maybe a silverware or dinnerware set (not china or real silver, just regular stuff because ours is mismatched), or a new duvet cover set for our room.  I thought about the honeymoon registry but because we are just extending our stay by 3 days (will honeymoon in England later on) I have no idea how that would work.

 

I also had the question about my friends throwing me a shower. I have a small group of girlfriends that are invited to the wedding, and would feel wrong asking other people to come to a shower and not a wedding. 

 

I may have a small bachelorette party here, but haven't decided.  Only because it would be fun to get dressed up, dance and just tell anyone I know to come out and celebrate!!  We'll probably do mini-bachelor/bachelorette parties at the resort (so a booze cruise or something for the girls, golf for the guys).

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I am torn about this as well.

 

I visited with a friend recently that is invited to the wedding.  She asked about a registry and I told her that we didn't really want to do one because everyone was travelling for the wedding.  She said people will still want to get us something, and that her and her husband did as well.

 

I think we may put a registry up on our website, but not include the information in the invites.  And we will do so with the disclaimer that their presence is gift enough, and we really encourage people to take the money and put it towards enhancing their holiday.  But if they cannot attend and want to send something, or still wish to give us something, we will have a couple (cheap) ideas - I'm thinking like a toaster, maybe a silverware or dinnerware set (not china or real silver, just regular stuff because ours is mismatched), or a new duvet cover set for our room.  I thought about the honeymoon registry but because we are just extending our stay by 3 days (will honeymoon in England later on) I have no idea how that would work.

 

I also had the question about my friends throwing me a shower. I have a small group of girlfriends that are invited to the wedding, and would feel wrong asking other people to come to a shower and not a wedding. 

 

I may have a small bachelorette party here, but haven't decided.  Only because it would be fun to get dressed up, dance and just tell anyone I know to come out and celebrate!!  We'll probably do mini-bachelor/bachelorette parties at the resort (so a booze cruise or something for the girls, golf for the guys).

 

I wasn't sure on the shower either.  When people not invited started asking about it (coworkers, distant friends, etc.) and I mentioned I wasn't having one they were shocked.  They said they all still want to be involved and want me to have one! They aren't offended at all they aren't invited as they realize DW are smaller and intimate.   

 

That said, I still don't want something called a 'shower'. I think maybe a bon voyage party during the day and a stagette by night!  I have soooo many ladies wanting to get out and party lol!   We shall see, I have a few friends not attending who really want to organize it, so curious to see what it turns out to be.

 

We have also considered doing one together, boys and girls. Who knows!!!

Should start considering it though as we want to do it in November before Christmas!

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Wow! Thanks everyone!  I'm loving the idea of a "bon voyage" party - it's definitely something that I'm going to suggest to my bridesmaids.  

 

Also, I spoke to my fiance and we decided that if people want to insist on giving us a gift, we're going to ask them to make a donation to a camp that I used to work at.  It's a nonprofit camp for inner city kids, so they're always needing a little help.

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It is such a difficult decision.  As mentioned, those spending the money to attend the wedding is gift enough, but there are some who see it as a holiday and still want to give something.  As well, there are those who aren't attending.  My friends who have lived together have done a "honeymoon" registry, but that doesn't really fit when you are having a "weddingmoon".

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I am not planning on doing a registry either. However, in the last month, I have had 4 different people react negatively to the fact that I do not plan on having one. They actually got pretty upset with me. It is a very strange feeling to tell someone, " Come celebrate with us, that is enough for us" and they tell you they dont like the idea of no registry or bridal shower.   

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