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Dress Stress - sob story & a warning not to put off ordering early!

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#1 cherany

  • Jr. Member
  • 234 posts

    Posted 12 January 2013 - 07:03 AM

    Don't normally start threads just to vent, but I couldn't find anywhere else to post this and need to get it off my chest!   I found out the hard way this week that it is not just wedding gowns that take months to get, but all special order formal occasion dresses.  Ladies, no matter what dress you are planning to wear, ORDER EARLY!  Even if you plan to lose a tremendous amount of weight, ORDER!   Over a year ago, I fell madly in love with a bright orange quinceanera dress and knew it was THE dress I would get married in.  It appeared readily available on dozens of authorized websites, so I put off ordering in an attempt to slim down and get just the right size to avoid alterations, having only had terrible experiences before and being way too scared to let anyone touch my dress.  (Little did I know, a corset back dress dramatically widens the size range you can fit - I tried on everything from size 8 to 14 from the same designers this week, and they all fit.)   I put in my order last weekend and never heard back from the store, so I contacted to see what was up and learned my dress was discontinued and no longer available.  They had contacted the manufacturer and found there were absolutely none left in my color and size, just one left in my color that was several sizes too small and one left in a color I didn't want, also several sizes too small. After a brief (ok, hours' long) freak out with me crying and feeling crazy and desperate, I started e-mailing every store (was the middle of the night, couldn't call anywhere) that had the dress on their website, asking if they had any left in stock or any way to get the dress in my size and color.  The dress is from a 2010 collection, so it felt pretty hopeless.   I stayed up all night looking at other dresses, knowing I might very well have no choice but to pick something else.  I couldn't find anything I loved that didn't have a ship date of just days before the wedding, which further put me into a panic.  None of the dresses were as good as my original pick, so in a way, I was glad not to be settling for any of them, but mostly I was scared of not having a dress!   I compiled a list of every store I could find in my area that carries quinceanera dresses, which was not an easy task, as most Mexican owned dress shops are nowhere to be found online, not even on sites like Yelp.  I was only successful in locating most stores by checking designers' lists of authorized retailers. I told myself as soon as shops started opening, I was heading out for a day of non-stop shopping until I had a dress in hand. I was just so panicked, I couldn't stand the thought of waiting even a day or two for responses from all the stores I'd contacted.   So, I set out to visit 14 shops in a day, and with the exception of 2 that were closed, I got into 12 and tried on dresses at all that had something to fit me in a color I liked (being so close to the wedding, I was pretty limited in color selection - not just because of needing to buy off the rack, but because I now have to avoid the same color as my bridesmaids, Amy's bridesmaids, and several other things that could've been changed many months ago, but can't be changed now without additional expenses).     Nothing I found was as nice as my original choice, and I felt like bursting into tears so many times that day, because that dress was such a huge part of my dream wedding!  At the third store of the day, I found one dress I thought I might love, if only I weren't comparing it to the original choice (I couldn't help it!),  The price was excellent, much cheaper than anything else I'd seen, but I still hesitated and wanted to check out the rest of the stores on my list.  By the end of the night, I had visited everywhere and was still empty handed, so I thought, ok, I'm going to go back and get that dress that I liked. It's not my dream dress, but I do love it, and the price was in the range of a knock-off for an authentic dress (was an older style they needed to clear out, so they were giving me $100 off the already low sale price). I couldn't come up with a good reason not to buy it.   Before going back to the store, I had the thought to check my e-mail, and I don't know if I can say I'm glad or sad that I did.  I saw several stores had replied to me basically saying, nope, never going to happen with the original dress, but one store had gotten back to me with the "exciting news!" that they had tracked it down in the right size and color and could get it to me in time. I called my fiance crying and upset, because after going through so much panic, I felt like I couldn't trust anything. If something went wrong with the order, then what?  I'd be back at square one, and perhaps the one dress in the entire metro area that I liked would be gone. Although unlikely that everything along the way would go wrong and I'd be without either dress, panic combined with a lack of sleep had me thinking I needed to buy the in-store dress AND call and order the original dress.  I could always sell one, right? My fiance said better to have a dress in hand and suggested what I already thinking, to get both dresses and sell one.   So, that's what I did. I now have a dress in hand that I can't decide if I regret buying or not, and an order placed for the dream dress that I'm still scared will go wrong somehow. I feel better than I did when I first found out I had no dress, because I know I won't be naked now, but I'm still stressed and cry whenever I think about it.   In a sickening twist, I learned at the last store I visited that I can wear a size 8 in a corset back dress, which is the one size the store I originally tried to order from had left in my dress. I never would've dreamed it, because the size charts online had me in a 12 or 14, but trying on actual dresses from the designer you like is much different than relying on measurements alone. Shockingly, I can wear an 8, 10, 12, or 14 from the same designer, thanks to the corset back. I never tried anything on in stores till all this happened, because I thought I would lose weight and then figure out my size. Dumb move, especially considering I've barely lost 10 pounds in a couple of months' time!   This was a really long ramble, so thank you to anyone who read all the way through. It's far from the first thing to go dramatically wrong in our wedding planning (a huge ordeal with our venue a couple months ago resulted in us switching our ceremony site, reception location, and wedding planner just months before the wedding!), so I'm really in need of support from other brides who understand how stressful wedding planning is!  I never dreamed it would be like this, especially not with a destination wedding (breezy and carefree way to do it, I thought - HA!).   Lessons learned:    Once you find your dream dress, ORDER IT!  No such thing as too early!   Feeling desperate and panicked is NOT worth it, even if you think you will drop 50 pounds!   You can fit MANY sizes of corset back dresses!  If you buy a 14 and are a size 8 by the wedding, you can tighten that baby enough to fit, I promise!

    #2 preciousblue

    • Newbie
    • 20 posts

      Posted 19 January 2013 - 12:35 PM

      This is good advice... except for the very last part... it is true that you can fit many sizes with corset dresses but I wouldn't say 14-8 as an example... at my first wedding, I ordered my dress as a size 10, it came in at a 12, and I was a size 8 on my wedding day. With my dress tied as tight as possible, it was still too loose and I had to wear a full corset bra underneath to help fill it out (and even then, it was tied as tight as it would go, which I hated the look of in the end).

      So yes, order your dress early enough and make sure to allow plenty of time for alterations :)


      I'm sorry you had this experience, and I hope you get your dream dress in time for your wedding!

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