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Confused and need help!

 

Quick question (sort of lol).

 

I am sending my wedding invitation out in a couple of weeks.

My father has booked a hall for an AHR as well.  He wants it to be small (80ish people) and wants it based mainly on family and people who aren't able to come to Dominican.

 

I'm asking people to RSVP for our DW in July (need a guest list for the hotel for August) for our wedding in November.

 

Would it be confusing/weird/inappropriate for me to send invitations out for the AHR AFTER the RSVPs come in for the DW?

 

Let me know what you ladies think, I respect all your opinions :o)

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There's another thread on here talking about to invite the DW guests to the AHR, so you might want to read through that to get some more ideas and opinions. However, my personal thought is that you might want to reconsider this strategy of just inviting people who aren't able to make it to the Dominican -- some may be offended that they aren't invited to your follow-up celebration.

 

I am having a casual party at a park shelter about a month after we return and invited everyone that I invited to the DW as well as a LOT more people. I can't imagine NOT inviting the people who traveled with me to the actual wedding since those are our nearest and dearest family and friends. Like my immediate family and bridal party -- they are all going down to Mexico with us, and I know they would be hurt if they weren't invited to our AHR. I am just making it clear to them that they are in no way obligated to attend since it means so much to us that they are attending the DW, but we would love to see them again and have a little reunion of sorts. Plus I think some of the guests who didn't get to come to your wedding would love to spend time with those who did! 

 

Good luck with your decision!

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See but the problem is, I'm not arranging this AHR.

I don't want an AHR.

My father is insisting to have one but then he wants to limit the amount of guests to 80 (we have 170 invited to the actual wedding).  He was more concerned about some of my immediate family missing out on the DW and not being able to see me in my dress and all that kind of jazz.  I would have found it completely reasonable to just have a casual affair...

 

But we're Italian and he insists on having it in a hall.

 

Ugh......

So frustrating.......

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I think you need to talk to your father and explain that proper etiquette is to invite everyone that was invited to your DW.  Probably, most won't come anyways, but then there is no one left out.
 

Originally Posted by Aphrodite View Post

See but the problem is, I'm not arranging this AHR.

I don't want an AHR.

My father is insisting to have one but then he wants to limit the amount of guests to 80 (we have 170 invited to the actual wedding).  He was more concerned about some of my immediate family missing out on the DW and not being able to see me in my dress and all that kind of jazz.  I would have found it completely reasonable to just have a casual affair...

 

But we're Italian and he insists on having it in a hall.

 

Ugh......

So frustrating.......



 

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There really is no etiquette with a DW. I'm Greek, my FI is Ukrainian, we had a big Greek engagement party in February for my family, of which many people were invited who we did not invite to the DW. Likewise, our AHR is at the end of August (my FFIL is throwing it) and same situation there. My wedding invitations went out about a month ago, with an RSVP for June 1st, and our AHR invites are going out this weekend, with an RSVP for July 10th. Do whatever makes sense for your wedding :)

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To update....

 

I told my father that I'm not comfortable with inviting only a select few to our AHR.  I said we have to figure out a way to include EVERYONE or just scrap it....stay tuned for that one...

 

proti007 - thanks for posting the invite to your AHR!

I love the wording and it's very cute!

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