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TammyB

1/28/08

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So I thought I would update everyone on my crazy life... So you guys remember Cain's cousin Adam? Well he is in jail again, but for only two weeks for unpaid fines, well guess what? He wants to move back to Michigan... no, no, not with us, but with Cain's Ma.. So ya I guess kind of with us since I'm sure he will be here all the time. However I'm still having a hard time thinking he will actually come, since he already knows it will be near impossible for him to find a job.

 

We are fostering two dogs right now, Elsie our puppy mill dog, she is doing really good. I must admit every time she gets an inquire I get really sad, she is by far going to be the hardest to let go. Then we have a temp foster, Bennie, we have had him for a week now, and about 80% of the time he is great, fun loving and just a big tank, however the other 20% of the time he has aggression issues. Today we had an appointment to take him to the vet to get neutered, well Bennie snapped, went under the bed and snapped at us, we tried to push him out from under the bed with a baby gate, well he tore that gate up, so Cain actually had to take the bed apart to get him out. I was downstairs with my dogs, and when Bennie came running, he came up to me still foaming at the mouth and growling, I thought for sure he was going to attack one of my dogs, but as quick as he got aggressive, he just stopped. Anyways, we are really hoping getting him fixed will curb his aggression.

 

On Sunday, Cain went to the shelter to help out for a few hours, and ended up getting bite on the hand. Luckily he was wearing gloves so it didn't puncture, however his hand is swollen about 3 times it's natural size. On a positive note, Cain is starting a dog training class, the class will take a year to complete and once finished it's one step closer to us owning our business. I guess this course is pretty difficult and really helps in working with aggressive dogs.

 

As for the TTC world, well I'm loosing hope that I'll ever have a healthy pregnancy. Cain and I talked and we decided we wouldn't do IVF and if it came to it, we should pursue domestic adoption. But that wouldn't be until sometime next year because we want to pay off some bills first (just so we can rack up more paying for adoption, lol) So for now we keep moving along. My RE office said I can go 6 "good" cycles on Clomid before they move to something else, since they aren't counting last cycle, this will be my 3rd. So I guess I'll know in 3 months rather or not will adopt.

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...we started reseraching adoption too (just research for now!). And we're even toying with the idea of fostering a kid first.

 

I'm in a rut too Tammy, doubting I'll ever carry a baby past 10 weeks sad.gif Hopefully, we're both just depressed about the whole thing and will be pleasantly surprised in the near future (*fingers crossed!*).

 

You definitely won't hear 'don't worry, everything will happen for you; you'll have your baby; etc' from me... I'm just saying that I haven't given up hope on your situation yet. As one of my friends recently wrote to me "always keep hope in your heart." (easier said than done, I know)

 

So if you can't hope right now, I completely understand...so I'll do the hoping for you. Take care of yourself chica, I'm always here.

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Thanks Heidi, I knew you would understand. I would love to foster/adopt, however I don't think I could handle it as a first child, how sad would it be to get attached to a child and then they go back to their birth mother? I just don't think I would be able to emotionally handle is for my first child. You are a much stronger person then I' am.. :-)

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I'm worried that I'll have to for my first. I'd prefer to wait too...but after we got preggo for the first time, I just had this intense desire to be a mother.

 

Plus, I had a fantastic experience with Big Brother/Big Sister during college that has completely changed my mind about adoption. I was matched with an 8-year-old 'little brother' who was in foster care. Ever since that experience, I've KNOWN that at some point in my life, I will adopt a child.

 

Ah, I'm rambling now!!! :) But I love ya Tammy!!! We will survive!!!!!!

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Tammy I know it must be hard to make a decision on this. (For you too Heidi). I am here for the both of you rooting you on in whatever decisions you make. Tammy have you thought of adopting in Mexico? Do you think that would sooth things over for Marty?

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I haven't visited the blog area in a while. When I saw your first paragraph I thought "holy sh" - I think having Adam in your home is the last thing you need!

 

I'm very sorry you are facing all of these difficulties/roadblocks with TTC. It breaks my heart every time I see a new post with not so good news about your quest. Whatever you decide to do is the right thing & we all support you no matter what!

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