My FH is ruining my dream wedding ... how do I compromise?
Posted 10 July 2010 - 06:13 PM
Try changing your tone with him. Like the other girls said it's not just about your dream. Respect his choices, and calmly tell him what you'd like. I think you guys can compromise. Do you know other people who have done a DW? Maybe having him talk about things with them would change his mind.
http://www.michaelsteingard.comMichael and Phil Steingard are located in Ontario, but travel to Punta Cana quite often during the year. There is a good chance they will be down already during your wedding week, so this will cut travel costs
Posted 10 July 2010 - 06:48 PM
I have tried speaking with him in a calm manner but it's difficult to compromise when his sisters are in his other ear telling him that it doesn't make sense to have the kind of wedding I want in the DR instead of here. They believe that the wedding should be simple and no frills. I just don't believe that. His compromise with me now is that if I tone it down a bit and not try to spend so much money ($14,000, not including honeymoon), that he would give me the wedding of my dreams for our 10 year anniversary.
Now what do I do?
Posted 10 July 2010 - 06:58 PM
As for what to do - decide how important a DW is to you, what you value about it the most and what you can do without. It sounds like he is trying to compromise and give you what you want when it is feasible to spend $14k, in 10 years. For now he wants a simple (read: inexpensive) wedding. I get it.
IMO $14k is a lot to spend on a DW when I know people (including myself) who did it for well under $10k.
What is it that is costing so much? You mentioned the reception for 60 people being $1250. That is more than reasonable, but what accounts for the other $13k?
Posted 10 July 2010 - 08:05 PM
I really want to compromise and I'm trying, which is why I have promised to look at some stuff, see what's really important to me and cave on what's not. As far as his sisters are concerned, they are really close and they give their opinion on everything and he values it. I've dealt with this for the last 6 years. They mean well and we usually heed their advice but we do, in the end, make our own decisions.
Posted 10 July 2010 - 09:09 PM
Most of us will tell you that a lot of the people who say they are coming don't, even the ones who rsvp with a yes. So you may come in under your per person estimate based on who actually ends up booking, which could mean coming in under $10k.
The luggage tags are done so no use worrying about that money. Find something else you can cut and cut it. That's the only way I see this working so that you are both happy, unless you are going to pay the difference out of your own personal money so that he can't complain about spending his. Good luck!
Posted 10 July 2010 - 09:17 PM
I really hope that we can make it happen. I love him dearly and I want to give him what he wants but I also want to get a lot of what I want. I don't want to look back at our wedding and think I caved on too much and regret any part of it.
Posted 10 July 2010 - 09:55 PM
Mrs. Williams- 100 guests seem like a lot to keep a lower budget. Maybe you can reduce some guests to save- or not if that's not negotiable for you guys. We have a budget thread on here. Check that out and it might give you a better idea of what everyone spent.
Morgan did a lot of DYI and had a great wedding for a really affordable price. Maybe check out her planning thread to see some ideas that might help you get all the details that you want in the wedding, but at a price that your FI approves of.
Posted 10 July 2010 - 10:24 PM
Posted 10 July 2010 - 10:33 PM
| Originally Posted by *Rachel* |
Jamy- I'm amazed that your wedding was well under $10k! Are you counting your honeymoon in there? Just curious- because I know our weddings should have been comparable and ours was around $14k and I didn't think I splurged too much- well other than LC. About $4k of ours was the two week stay and airfare.
Maybe you had more guests than we did? Or maybe you did extra stuff at LC that we didn't? We kept it super simple...Mrs. Williams' fiance would love me LOL
Posted 10 July 2010 - 11:03 PM
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