Jump to content

Recommended Posts

We are having our DW in Hawaii in August '09, and our AHR on New Years Eve. Seems simple enough, but here is the twist. We were all set to get married in August '08-- invited 350+, had 200+ coming-- when we had a situation arise (FI's illness) that made us postpone our wedding 4 days before it was set to happen. This was extremely tragic....and although we've recovered (both physically, mentally, and emotionally), our idea of what we want for our wedding is drastically different than it was a year ago. We are not inviting many people to our DW- just immediate family and a few friends each (total of about 15 people). As for our AHR, we don't want to invite all of the guests from '08-- its just too many people. We have scaled down our list to about 125 people, which obviously is leaving many people out that were on our original list. So this is what I'm thinking of doing: 1) all of the people coming to the DW are already aware of all plans, etc, so we've just been emailing about that (no formal invitations to go out). 2) sending a combination announcement/AHR invite to those we want to invite to our AHR, and 3) sending just an announcement to those we dont want to invite the 2nd time around. I'm sure etiquette would say this is a no-no.... I'm just not sure what else to do. Its a special situation that, honestly, I never thought I'd be in. I want to include something in the announcement (to those not invited to the AHR) thanking them for their continued support during this difficult time for us, and for their understanding about not being included....or something like that. I'm just not sure how to proceed from here. I'd appreciate any comments, feedback, advice.... Thanks so much!

 

Rebecca

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow, this is a tough situation. I'm glad to hear that your FI is better.

 

Unfortunately, there is no good way to leave people off the guest list the second time around. No matter what you do it will come across as "I no longer like you enough to want you at my wedding." People may even feel that they've done something wrong to you in the past year.

 

The good thing is that as you have changed in the past year, so have your relationships. People you aren't very close with may not even remember that you postponed your wedding. Or it might slip their mind that they were invited to the first wedding planned. By sending an announcement, you'll definitely remind them and it will be very much brought to their attention that they weren't invited to your AHR.

 

One possibility is that you could invite more people to your DW banking on the fact that money is tight for most people so many of them will be unable to attend. Or, you could send a post-wedding announcement or letter stating that you more or less eloped at your DW. This way people won't feel as if you've singled them out to be dropped from the list. It reads more like you left everyone out instead of just cutting the people you don't like anymore. The danger with this, is that if people who were invited to your AHR know people who are no longer invited, word may get out anyway.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide and remember that it's still your choice who gets to attend your wedding. If you don't want someone there, no amount of etiquette or niceties should force you to have them there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that you should send an announcement focusing on the fact that you had an intimate DW which was a wonderful way to celebrate the difficult year you had, thank them for their support over the year and say you regret that you were not able to have the wedding last year but are glad that things are going well (I'm just assuming this from your message) and that you could celebrate your marriage in a more intimate fashion. You don't have to mention the AHR because you are not announcing the fact that you are having an AHR and they aren't invited you are announcing that you got married. Plus I'm going to assume that if your FI had an illness that there were medical bills involved and that you don't have the budget to invite as many guests again, which I'm sure the guests could assume as well and if they aren't your BFF getting cut off the list but more of acquaintances then they would be understanding.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  


  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • What color is your wedding? You can go with warm autumn-inspired colors such as burnt oranges, dark reds, burgundy, bright yellows, like fall foliage   https://printsbery.com/invitations/wedding/burgundy   What planning have you guys done?  
    • We booked our wedding for April 2021 but the venue let us know at this time they are still implementing Covid measures so we should not have more than 50 guests, etc. We also made sure the contract had an "out" clause that would let us get a refund should the pandemic blow up again, or have the ability to reschedule without penalty.
    • I am having my wedding scheduled in November 2020. I am too much worried about how all the things will be managed in this pandemic situation. About everything like the guest list, preparations, my attire and all. The only thing I am relaxed is about finances. In Feb only me and my fiancé applied for the wedding loans. We have applied early because both of us are having bad credit we had a doubt that it will be approved or not. But our wedding loans with bad credit were timely approved and we have planned accordingly but now this pandemic has spoiled all our preparations. We are trying to be positive and trying to celebrate our new beginnings.
    • Welcome. I am a past Dreams Los Cabos bride. Please let us know if we can assist in any way. We have some great promotions (bride and groom fly free, comped rooms and upgrades).    info@wrighttravelagency.com
    • Hi all. My fiance and I are getting married at Dreams Los Cabos in Cabo San Lucas on April, 2021! We've been together for 3 years and we are so excited for our little wedding!  
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...