I think she has 3 big problems. One is that she hates my fiances bio mom and resents that she is involved in my FI life now. A little background, my fiances dad left his my fiances bio mom to be with my fiances step mother. So there is really bad history that I have nothing to do with.
The second issue is she keeps hinting that I forced or coerced my fiance into marrying me. Before me, my fiance lived at home with stepmother and dad from 11 years old even through undergrad. So his stepmother called on him to do EVERYTHING becaue his dad was never around because of work or because he belongs to alot of community organizations. My fiance kind of didn't tell his family that he and I were moving in together and just did it. They dissaproved and were pissed off. His older step sister who is 32 still lives at home with with them with 2 kids. His step cousin who is 33 still lives at home with them. My fi brother who is 27 also still lives at home with them and is not working. So my fi's stepmother and dad are used to telling grown people what to do and expect them to give a sh&&t. That all changed when my Fi and I moved in together because they could not control him anymore and that pisses his stepmother off! She wants to control the wedding, who we use as a travel agent, the guest list etc. We first used the travel agent she recommeded, but the lady sucked, so we got our own, and his step mother flat out said she was not going to call at all which hurt my FI and drove him even closer to his bio mom. His stepmom did not know that bio mom had entered the picture and it came up when she was being a Biatch and she hit the roof. So she has had out for me ever since.
Lastly, she wants to bad to have a say in the wedding and control it and get recognition from it and I have given her zero opportunity because she would try to take over and I don't need the drama. I thought it would ease up now because her other daughter who is not living at home just got engaged last month. But the step mom wants to hone into my wedding because everyone at my childhood chuch (where she and fi's dad attend also) is talking about it and is excited. So she wants some sort of recognition like she actually helped do something or is supportive.
And the last "mistake" I made was that I introduced her to my friend during my shower as my fi stepmother. She actually also said during the toast in addition to the other negative thing, that she does not believe in the word step mother and she is his mom. Excuse me, now I have to reinvent the english language for her crazy arse. If she had acted like a mother this whole time and not a crazy woman, then I would have introduced her as a mother.
ok, sorry this is so long.
13 replies to this topic
Posted 23 April 2007 - 09:14 AM
If you don't get along then I dont see anything wrong with asking her to not be a part of the candle ceremony. This is your wedding so do what makes you feel most comfortable.
Posted 23 April 2007 - 10:28 PM
I'm mad for you! How rude! My initial reaction was "hell no she shouldn't be lighting the unity candle" however, after calming down and reading the other girls posts, I agree that FI should probably decide.... but that doesn't mean I'd be above some persuasive actions.... uugh, don't people have manners anymore! I'm mad for you again.
Posted 23 April 2007 - 10:54 PM
Thank you for all of your sympathy and advice. I think I will be the bigger person and let her do the unity candle along with all of the other guests so everyone's well wishes can go into it. I will have about 14 people there so it will be small. But I swear, if she starts her crap , I am going to scream on her and truly earn the BRIDEZILLA title.
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