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We have everything...is there a polite way to ask for cash?


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#11 rodent

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    Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:07 PM

    I know they thought this was polite but it seemed so tacky to me. I was looking for invitation ideas yesterday for inspiration. This one said "we have registered at blank, blank & blank but would greatly appreciate gifts of cash." I don't think there is anyone polite way to print it.




    I have told my mom the gifts I could use the most so when people ask her she can tell them. I really want my dishes, pots & pans & knives. The rest is mostly things I like, but don't need right now. We live in a small apartment & plan to leave the state in 2-3 years. I'd rather buy stuff when I settle.

    It's funny because everyone just wants cash, but no one wants to say it or ask for it. I just always give money now at weddings. I give a personal check though incase cash/ giftcard gets lost. My friend was robbed during her shower by a guest. After my friend was robbed, her mom put a huge pad lock on the envelope box at the wedding. It was actually pretty funny looking. So a check isn't something they could steal. I've heard of drunk guest taking money from the money tree many times. Often they are the date of someone & don't know the couple.

    #12 Alyssa

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      Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:12 PM

      No offense Morgan, but i still think that is really tacky. i wouldn't mention it - i think you can really offend your guests

      #13 rodent

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        Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:22 PM

        Quote:
        Originally Posted by Alyssa
        No offense Morgan, but i still think that is really tacky. i wouldn't mention it - i think you can really offend your guests
        OH, that was an example of someone being really tacky. It actually made me laugh when I read it.

        #14 rodent

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          Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:24 PM

          OK I swapped my working around so it's clear I am mocking the tackiness of the invite not giving a suggestion. It was a beautifully designed invite & then such a poor choice of words.

          #15 Alyssa

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            Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:24 PM

            DUH! sorry :)

            i have not been thinking clearly since i got this flubug

            #16 rodent

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              Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:29 PM

              Quote:
              Originally Posted by Alyssa
              DUH! sorry :)

              i have not been thinking clearly since i got this flubug
              Ha Ha! I made it more clear. I'd hate for it to be taken as advice. "But, Morgan told me it was polite to ask for cash as long as I used big workds like greatly & appreciate." I PMed you incase you didn't come back to this one. I don't want to get the tacky rep.

              get well soon!

              #17 Alyssa

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                Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:33 PM

                Quote:
                Originally Posted by Morgan
                Ha Ha! I made it more clear. I'd hate for it to be taken as advice. "But, Morgan told me it was polite to ask for cash as long as I used big workds like greatly & appreciate." I PMed you incase you didn't come back to this one. I don't want to get the tacky rep.

                get well soon!
                no biggie Morgan (senora tackmaster)

                #18 rodent

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                  Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:37 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by Alyssa
                  senora tackmaster
                  Don't dare use your mod powers to swap out the title under my user name to "Senora Tackmaster."

                  Tack Daddy? Return of the Tack. Tacky McTackerson. Nope, Senora Tackmaster is the best.

                  #19 jenvh

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                    Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:42 PM

                    We are having this same dilemna. I like the Bed Bath Beyond idea though. Do any other stores do that? I guess it just makes people feel better to buy from a registry. Ugh. I really didn't want to do that.
                    So far I just have been telling people who ask that we don't want anything but we appreciate the thought. That has mostly been co-workers for now. Family and friends will probably start asking once we have the AHR (only immediate family are coming to the wedding). FI told his co-workers if they really want to give something then donate to the american Cancer Society in memory of his father.
                    I did have a friend who was moving from CA to NY right after her wedding so they said they don't want gifts since they are moving, but if we really wanted to give something then cash or gift cards to help with the move. I don't remember how it was worded, but I think the cirumstances made it not seem tacky.

                    #20 Maura

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                    Posted 14 March 2008 - 01:46 PM

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Allaballa
                    Ettiquette says there is no expectation of gifts at a wedding or a shower. Realistically speaking you should still register. Just register for super expensive items and hope that the guests will get the idea.

                    One of my co-workers had a registry where the cheapest thing was $300. She got all envelopes.
                    This is exactly one of the correct ways to go about it.

                    Quote:
                    Originally Posted by Galit
                    Ditto on the ettiquette thing, but I think there is a way around it. When we were getting ready to register, my FSIL told me a little secret: Bed Bath abd Beyond gives back cash on registry returns! Why not register for a few items there - things you might like to keep, like sheets, towels, etc... If you change your mind after the wedding, you can always return everything for cash. I know it's a bit sneaky, but this way people who want to give gifts can and no one is offended.
                    Ha, Galit, we did add things to our BBB registry that we have every intention of returning for cash, so we can buy some other stuff we want but is too expensive to register for, like furniture. Some of my married gfs gave me that tip!

                    Sorry, there's no way around saying this: It's tacky to ask for cash. Anybody remember the thread I posted awhile back about the DW invite my FI and I got from a friend in Mexico? First of all, they included a gift registry enclosure, which is tacky anyway -- you should never solicit your own gifts, that's what showers are for, when someone else sends out the invites and can include that info. And also, that's what wedding websites are for, where you can post the info if they want to see it, but its much less agressive than sending it in an invitation. Anyway, the people included little enclosures with the invitation asking for cash gifts and then had the balls to but their bank account numbers "for easy transfer" ---my FI was so offended, he threw out the invite, we didn't attend and we certainly didn't send a gift.

                    If you want things like sheets, pots & pans anyway, why dont you just register for them

                    Then just add a bunch of other stuff from BBB and return it. It's better for you to have the hassle of returning stuff rather than offending your guests. People don't forget that stuff. The DW I mentioned above was in early Nov 07, and our circle of friends is still actively talking about it like it was yesterday anytime anything comes up about wedding etiquette.

                    You can also, at many places, just register for gift cards.




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