I think every bride/groom is different in exactly what they're looking for. For us we wanted some of the same attributes you mentioned, but we didn't want a large property. We wanted our wedding party to pretty much take over the place ;-) So, for us, we looked at hotels with less than 300 rooms. So that narrowed down the list for us and knocked out some of the more popular wedding spots like Dreams and Moon Palace.
Then we looked at the price point for our guests and the fact that we would have a handful of children. So that of course knocked some out,...like Le Blanc...still one of my personal favorites.
So, we actually took the route of seeing if some of the smaller full service hotels would offer and inclusive meal/drink plan option and that is what we ended up doing. So don't limit your search to a hotel that is called "all-inclusive". If you find a regular resort you really like such as Marriott, Le Meridien, Hyatt, Hilton...call/email and ask about the pricing and a package that is inclusive of rooms, meals, drinks and taxes.
Which hotel are you using? I have a kid and I have 2 other couples who have kids. Ive been looking into Dreams but would like to have another option to make my decision. Was there a wedding package or can you us an outside vendor? any advice you give me is most appreciated.