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Akfranklin2014

Question About My Matron Of Honor

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My wedding is a little over 3 months away. I am getting ready to send out invitations and since we have a smaller budget than is usual for a wedding, we're only allowing plus ones for those who are married or have been in a serious relationship for at least a year. The main reason for this is because if they've been together a year, chances are me or my fiancé or both of us have met them more than once and know them enough for them to be at the wedding.

 

My matron of honor lives out of town and I'm getting a room for her and I to share since she's not with anybody right now. This has been the plan since I started planning it. She also agreed to pick up my dad who lives in the same town as her. She and I spoke this morning and I advised her of the plus one situation and reminded her about picking up my dad, a conversation we've had more than once. She tells me she doesn't remember agreeing to pick up my dad and also tells me she was planning on bringing a guy and having a sex filled weekend.

 

Normally I wouldn't care who she's messing with, but this is my wedding. First, the room is only for her and I, so where's he going to stay? Second, my fiancé and I don't want someone neither of us even know, let alone met, at our wedding. (And before you ask, yes, I've discussed this with him). I'm just wondering what to do at this point. I feel like this is time she should be spending with me, at least the day before and morning of. Am I wrong? What should I do or say?

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Hi @@Akfranklin2014  Welcome to the site! 

 

One of the difficulties of having a wedding party, and a destination wedding, is dealing with personalities! You certainly find out who your friends are when it comes to your wedding! I have seen so many comments on this board about maids that didn't step up, mothers in law, guests. There probably isn't much that someone hasn't had to go through that hasn't been posted on this board. I think everyone goes through some sort of drama when they're trying to put together a wedding, never mind a destination wedding!

 

Having said that, you're in a tough situation for sure. Being your MOH you definitely want her to be available for you for your wedding. But have you thought about what she's going to do on her own when you're busy with all of the other things that you'll have to do? Does it mean she'll be by herself while you're happy with your new hubby? Are you having dancing? If so, who will she dance with? If the relationship is new for her, that's the stage when you really don't want to be apart, and a romantic weekend away in the sun is definitely something conducive to a "sexy" weekend. It's difficult I know to think about having people at your wedding that you don't know, but maybe it's also a good chance to get to know this new man in your friend's life? Is there a balance you can find somehow that makes everyone happy? It's also difficult when people are putting out large sums of money on a vacation, to tell them they can't bring a "date" to help them enjoy that vacation. How would you deal with it if you were having a wedding at home?

 

As for picking up your dad, is she now saying no? If not, don't worry about the memory lapse and go through the details again with her. If she has a new man, and is dealing with your wedding, then try to overlook the loss of memory and move on. If she is saying no, is there anyone else that can help you out with this? If it means getting him picked up, maybe let her have her new guy? Could you stay together with hubby to be instead? It's a stressful time for everyone, especially the bride and groom. Pick your battles and try not to sweat the small stuff. It will make your life easier and your wedding planning go much more smoothly.

 

Good luck! I hope it works out ok for you!

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