So my best friend (MOH) is planning my shower. It's supposed to be a surprise but FI slipped. I know she took it upon herself because my mom passed away and my dad isn't much of a help. When I talked to my dad about a shower awhile back he said "I thought about it but wasn't going to do anything because I thought it would remind you of the one you had when you were first married." I interpreted that as my dad didn't think of it and was trying to make excuses. Either way, I never brought it up again.
Now my future MIL has expressed an interest in being part of this, both with the planning and a financial contribution. So my MOH and her will be speaking after the holidays. I know men don't go to showers, but I also know my dad is going to probably be mortified when he finds out that my MIL paid for part of it and he did not contribute anything at all. My dad has very poor social skills (ie - he didn't know he was supposed to bring a gift to a family chanukah party.)
So my question is - do I have my FI tell my MOH to tell my dad about it. Not point blank ask for a financial contribution but just let him know it's happening and the date? Or just leave it? Our parents are not contributing to the cost of the wedding, so this would not be an added expense. And again, it's not about the money, it's about him feeling embarrassed after the fact. We had an engagement party and he was the only person there not to bring us a gift. He just didn't think of it. That's who he is. I know it's not malicious.