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Is anyone else dealing with a difficult mother - that you already aren't very close with to begin with?


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#11 Kay6356

Kay6356
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  • Wedding Date:January 24, 2014
  • Wedding Location:Iberostar Laguna Azul
  • LocationVaradero, Cuba

Posted 16 October 2012 - 09:13 AM

I would just cut her out of the planning.  Tell her you're going on about your wedding planning, if she would like to be supportive and helpful (and not bossy and intrusive) then she can join you, if not then she looses out on helping her daughter plan her wedding...

Exactly she has already been pre-warned ... Oh well

#12 Kay6356

Kay6356
  • Member
  • 543 posts
  • Wedding Date:January 24, 2014
  • Wedding Location:Iberostar Laguna Azul
  • LocationVaradero, Cuba

Posted 16 October 2012 - 09:15 AM

I'm sorry to hear about you FMIL - on top of my moms negativity she claims to be a born again Christian and does not like my FI as we have been living together for years as well. I understand how your feeling - you too need to do what you and your FI want - it is yours and his day!

#13 JennyBenz

JennyBenz
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    Posted 18 October 2012 - 09:51 AM

    Hi Kay,

    We are one in the same! I have the same type of relationship with my mom & thought this whole experience would be wonderful... But it's making things worse. Although she doesn't have much say about our guest list, she's completely opposed to this whole DW, and is furious [as is FI mom] that we aren't going to be married in a church. At the end of the day, it's YOUR day, so be sure to stay true to what YOU and your FI want. It's nice they want to have a say in planning, but only constructive criticism is helpful. If they want to take plans into their own hands, or make demands, it surely isn't going to get you anywhere. I would explain to her that this is your day & you and your FI want everyone that is special to you, to be there to celebrate. One way you can tell her in a non-abrasive manner is to say you don't want to make anyone feel excluded, so you're inviting all those people who she doesn't want you to invite. This way, there's another point well made & maybe she'll see past it. I've tried telling my mom how I wish she'd be more supporting rather than argumentative at every moment, but moms always will have that "I know what's best for my daughter" mentality. So try to make the best of it, maybe give her something else to help you with, and that way she might back away from the guest list issues. Hope it works out, i know exactly how you feel!! -Jen

     

    Originally Posted by Kay6356 

    Hey ladies,
    I am in search of anyone else who is dealing with a difficult mother. My mom and I have never really seen eye to eye on anything-I thought this may be a nice time in life to put our differences aside and include her in my wedding preparation. Wrong! She is trying to tell me who I can and cannot invite to my wedding (including my fathers family whom I'm very close with.) is anyone else dealing with this sort of thing? What do I do??? I'm inviting whoever FI and I want to OUR wedding but I want my mom to get off my back and enjoy this time with me. Thanks.





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