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TammyB

Off Your Chest

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Dear self:

- Please start a separate post to explain where I've been (trial/sick/Chicago) for weeks. I mean, you had your bachelorette party and still haven't posted pics. Be a better BDW member.

- Plan to meet Christa for drinks again so she doesn't take an ax to her hubby's head.

- Be nice to FI tonight. He's sick with the cold you gave him and hates his job.

 

Dear Christa:

Get used to the rain. It stays like this until May. Not even joking.

 

Dear criminals:

Stop being manipulative little f*@ks, take responsibility for your actions, and deal with the punishment.

Also, for those criminals hiding under the guise of addiction to get less time - you are s*@theads. You are a disgrace all the people who actually are afflicted with the disease of addiction. I see you all in the same room every day - one group I respect with all that I am, the other is shameful.

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LOL!!!

 

Dear Kate,

 

Yes, call Christa soon. She is on the verge of losing her mind. She might even smoke some pot soon if she wasn't afraid the man was gonna come & get her over it.

 

AND - YES, POST PICS OF THE BACH PARTY GIRL!! I've been meaning to bug you about that, but I figured you've been sick so I gave you a break!

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Quote:
Originally Posted by akh View Post
Christa - when did you change your screen name? I was so confused for a second!
Keeping you on your toes! I just realized how many points I have & decided to do something constructive with them. I just did it a few hours ago.

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Dear Brian,

 

My dear husband, I love you. I have fun playing my wife role and cooking you dinner and keeping the house neat and clean but you instill visions of beating you to a bloody death when I spend the majority of my day cleaning and you come home and manage to completely mess up everything in under ten minutes.

 

Please remember, I'm not your mommy and will not pick up after you. You're a big boy. It's not that hard. I don't need to have two children.

 

-----

 

Dear Aiden,

 

I see you have taken after your father in knowing just how to push my buttons. You'd so be grounded if you weren't still in utero.

 

You scare me when you sleep all day and I don't feel you so much as shift. I go into a complete panic. Isn't that enough torture for one day? Must you top it off by finally deciding to kick like a wild man at night all the way until the next morning? This has become a regular occurance. I see it as an indication of your post delivery sleeping patterns. Sleep all day, party all night? Guess I'll give you credit for preping me for what's to come.

 

-----

Dear Skin,

 

Please stop freaking out on me. I know the pregnancy horomones are making you do it, but back pimples are gross. Let's call a truce?

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoBride View Post
Dear Daughter,
Why is there a dirty band-aid behind our sofahuh.gifhuh.gif?
Quote:
Originally Posted by JessicaLovesBrian View Post
Dear Skin,

Please stop freaking out on me. I know the pregnancy horomones are making you do it, but back pimples are gross. Let's call a truce?
LOL!!! smile120.gifsmile120.gifsmile120.gifsmile120.gif


Dear Economy,

Please slow down just in time so I can purchase a nice house at a reasonable price, but don't slow down too much so I don't lose my job.

---


Dear Cat,

Please refrain from puking on my bed. Although I'm thankful this did not occur while I was in it, I would appreciate a more reasonable location in the future.

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Dear Self,

Go out and make new girl friends. Just because yours think that your ruining your life b/c you are getting married rather than shaking for your ass for for horny drunks, doesn't mean that all girls live at the bar and are anti-marriage.

 

Be nicer to FI. He is walking around on egg shells b/c he thinks he will be in trouble for everything he says. He is a nice man, and you should not take you busy day out on him.

 

Do your laundry. At this point the laundry machine is going to break by the time all of your clothes are clean.

 

Do something fun. You work too much, and you need to take some time for yourself.

 

Have sex more often. It will really relieve some stress.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MoBride View Post

Dear Wedding Guests,
Why do you think a destination wedding is free? Why do you think a DW is somehow not real so you treat it disrepectfully? Why did you send your response card back saying you were going but then never booked or bothered to call me to tell me you changed your mind? I already have my seating chart done. You are ruining my sense of order
Oh I hear you on this one!!! Freakin rude ass people!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by amy&andy08 View Post
Dear FMIL: I know you have two sons and cannot hold a conversation with other females without taking everything the wrong way....but you are pushing me away with all of this wedding "etiquette" crap...do I strike you as the kind of girl who thinks endlessly about how to address things or who's name should come firsthuh.gif I was raised by a single mom and am paying for this wedding almost entirely by myself....MY NAME COMES FIRST YOU PRETENTIOUS HAG!! Oh and BTW....I purposely bring up conversations about my lack of underwear or raunchy topics just to make you feel uncomfortable....you need to get laid.
Love this!!! I'm still laughing out loud over this one! Pretentious hag...good one :)

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