Legal marriage at home before DW Advice?

[calgarybride2015]

I agree ladies....I want to make it legal beforehand. However, a good friend of mine decided to have a JP present at the AHR to "make it legal". It went over very well since those who couldn't make it to the DW felt like they still got to be present for something "important". Not my style but I thought it was pretty cool.

While I think my friends and family wouldn't care Mexico isn't legal I don't know 100% so I want to keep it a secret

 

 

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[nadiakat17]

if asked directly, what are you guys planning to say? I don't plan on going out of my way to tell anyone other than immediate family/very close friends, but I don't know what I will say if someone asks me while we are there....

[Lia33]

@@nadiakat17 I would be totally honest! Many people don't think to ask something like that unless they have had a DW or know someone who may have went through it. If anyone does ask me though I will just be honest, not comfortable flat out lying. Just say you guys decided to do it legally at home due to the hassle of a legal ceremony, no shame in the truth!

[Sabes44]

We are getting legally married the weekend before, just the two of us (and a photographer) at a beautiful courthouse a couple of hours away.  I never thought I would do that, but when my fiance brought up the idea, I got super emotional and really felt like we were getting married.  Silly I know, but it just seemed perfect for us and I am telling everyone lol.

if asked directly, what are you guys planning to say? I don't plan on going out of my way to tell anyone other than immediate family/very close friends, but I don't know what I will say if someone asks me while we are there....

I am just telling everyone, at first I was hesitant to tell anyone about our idea.  But once I did, I got good feedback and now I like that we have two "weddings" both very special for their own reasons and it gets me excited to have that special time together before going to the DW when we will be around our guests the majority of the time.

[nadiakat17]

it's funny, I love how this forum is so supportive. I went on another forum- can't remember which- but there was a DW posting about legal marriage at home vs other country and these ladies were going nuts about it- saying it's tacky, rude, can't call it a wedding, can't do first dance, cake, etc....the majority of posts were like that- I started freaking out but realized these people don't know what they are talking about and I would do what was important to my FI and I- it is more important to us to not stress out,  make sure our paperwork is all in a row, and not pay a lot of money than have it legal for legality's sake. To me a wedding is all about fun, family, friends, and celebrating each other and the paperwork is just that...paperwork. I would hope my friends and family would be supportive even if maybe they don't "agree" with what I'm doing- in the end it shouldn't matter to them!

[Lia33]

@@Sabes44 That's so great! That's a great way to look at it and frame it. Something for the two of you and something to celebrate with others. 

 

@@nadiakat17 It's so funny you say that because at some point, I looked for forums about legal vs. symbolic ceremonies and saw the same thing (maybe it was the same forum!) People that were condemning others for doing legal ceremony at home before DW - calling them liars, deceptive, having people go to a "fake" wedding, it was crazy! It was filled with judgmental people, rude, obnoxious people. It made me briefly panic about my choice in the beginning but I ended up feeling the same way you felt in the end. People will be happy to celebrate with you no matter what...and if they're not, oh well  ;-)

[calgarybride2015]

This is probably why I want to keep it a secret because of what those people said. When I think deep down no one would care!

 

 

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[MissJen3]

My FI and I are planning on doing the legal part at home as well. However, we are keeping it a secret. Im honestly not sure how my family would react if they knew we were legally doing it here. My dad actually keeps joking about just going to city hall and saving money on a wedding, and I am finding it increasingly harder to not tell him that we are planning on doing just that. 

[Sabes44]

it's funny, I love how this forum is so supportive. I went on another forum- can't remember which- but there was a DW posting about legal marriage at home vs other country and these ladies were going nuts about it- saying it's tacky, rude, can't call it a wedding, can't do first dance, cake, etc....the majority of posts were like that- I started freaking out but realized these people don't know what they are talking about and I would do what was important to my FI and I- it is more important to us to not stress out,  make sure our paperwork is all in a row, and not pay a lot of money than have it legal for legality's sake. To me a wedding is all about fun, family, friends, and celebrating each other and the paperwork is just that...paperwork. I would hope my friends and family would be supportive even if maybe they don't "agree" with what I'm doing- in the end it shouldn't matter to them!

Agreed!  I am using weddingwire for my budget and website and don't care for the forums as much on there as I enjoy the ones on here.  Maybe its because we are all DW brides and have that in common.

[Lia33]

My FI and I are planning on doing the legal part at home as well. However, we are keeping it a secret. Im honestly not sure how my family would react if they knew we were legally doing it here. My dad actually keeps joking about just going to city hall and saving money on a wedding, and I am finding it increasingly harder to not tell him that we are planning on doing just that.

I feel that my dad would consider going to the city hall part instead, so I'm actually going to wait a little while before telling him my plan. He's booking his room for the DW shortly. So I wanna wait till after he does... (a little sneaky I know loll) But I'll really down play the city hall part since the DW will be the first wedding ceremony he would be going to from his daughters. There 4 of us and 2 are married but didn't do elaborate weddings. He's actually pretty excited about the father daughter dance since we will likely come up with something silly lol So I don't think he will be too bothered. Your dad may surprise you and is probably really looking forward to this!