Pisces

I have come to accept, and I think we all have to, that some people think DW's are an unreasonably selfish thing to do. It is truly not something you can change, and no amount of telling people how you feel about your day and why you are doing it this way will change their minds. I think it comes down to values, which are really ingrained in people. Unfortunately it might just be until after your wedding for this time to pass. I'm sorry you're going through this with her

I just bought my shoes today on a whim and totally love them!!!

They're actually more of a champagne pink than what they look like in this picture, but even if they were this dark I'd be okay with them.

My friend and I are sharing a veil, and we ordered ours from here: OccanseyDesigns Custom Wedding Veils - OBridal.com

We received it within two weeks, and I'm very happy with it. Here's a few pictures:

I'm a French teacher and would be happy to help you if you ever need it. It sounds like you got some assistance with this already, but let me know if you would like more help:)

I love those aquamarine ones you posted, and I think having a gift your FI gave you will be way more special. I don't think they'll take away from the dress at all, especially since aquamarine is very light in color.

Awesome job! I would seriously buy those if you started up a business! They look fantastic!

I understand what he's feeling. I was not personally aware of this tradition, so if it were the other way around I would be very upset. I would see if there's any way you can get return address labels made with both of your names. It seems like having just one name makes it seem like "your" wedding, and not the two of you. Sorry, just trying to be honest.

I agree, it doesn't sound like he's addicted. Staying up late and avoiding his responsibilities can also sometimes be a sign of depression. Just like sleeping too much, sleeping too little is another sign.

Most men need visual stimulation just like most women need foreplay. I really think it's unfair for her to be upset about it when she doesn't even know the story. IMHO, the porn is a symptom of what happens when communication and intimacy is lacking, which it appears to be in their relationship.

I also think it's imperative that they sort this out before their trip. Bottling something this important up may destroy them, both individually and as a family and couple. They are dealing with a very difficult situation with a special needs child and they need to ban together, not separate...

I think counselling would be a really good idea for you to suggest as her friend.

I think it would depend on the length of the veil. I watched a video recently of a friend who had a really long layered veil and it was windy, and throughout the whole ceremony she was dealing with it, as were her fiance and the minister. It seemed like a bit of a nuissance. I am wearing a short, single layered veil so I am hoping it doesn't get in the way for me. I really feel like the veil "makes the bride" so I've always wanted one!

Sorry you are disappointed. It's always a dilemma when someone's good news affects our own plans. At least you have a bridal party who is willing to work on changing the date. It could be a lot worse if your sister just couldn't be there.

Try not to be too upset about the bridesmaid's niece's recital. How would you feel if she suddenly found out about the recital and said she couldn't make it to your shower? I know it's disappointing, especially having to wait a little longer.

My friend is having her band custom made to fit with her custom made e-ring. I think the expense really depends on the metal used, and the amount of detail involved in constructing it. Have you been to a jeweler who does custom jewelry? Sometimes they have good ideas you can ask them about and then find a ring that's already made like it.

What is your w-band budget? Do you want more diamonds in the band? My friend ended up with a platinum band with diamonds and it was actually cheaper than if she had not gotten diamonds because platinum is so expensive right now! So you just never know until you talk to a jeweler. Sometimes they charge more if they have to come up with the design as well.

I know, thank you.

Some families don't believe weddings are about the couple unfortunately. There are some families who strongly believe that weddings are about the tow families, and not about the couple....

I think I will just go ahead and send them out....

This is kind of long, so bear with me please

When Colin and I got engaged last August, we decided we wanted a small and intimate wedding, with just immediate family and a few really important friends. In order to make this clear, we decided to send out engagement announcements, indicating our plans and intentions. On the announcements we included a picture, a palm tree, and said "we would be joining our parents and siblings to tie the knot in Maui in December 2008"... (not the exact wording, but something to that effect)

We received a bit of flack from my family, but we thought it was because of the DW. I didn't do any planning or thinking about the wedding for the first four months. I was finishing school, and we wanted to enjoy the engagement, so until we hit the one year mark, we just left it at that.

Well, we found out around then that my sister wouldn't be coming, and neither would my best friend (likely not for my friend). My sister got engaged at Christmas, and they couldn't afford it with their wedding (same with my best friend, although she was already engaged and I'm her MOH this summer).

At Christmas, we started to hear grumbling about "next Christmas" when part of my family would be left out of celebrations... I got the feeling they actually wanted to be invited. Colin and I talked it over, and decided to invite my aunt & uncle who live here, as well as the aunt who always comes out at Christmas with my grandpa (they both live in Saskatchewan with the rest of my extended family on Dad's side). Then we thought we should probably invite my grandma, who lives in Ontario because it would be rude to invite one grandparent and not the other. My mom figured she wouldn't come, but definitely wanted to be invited.

In retrospect, I wish we handn't worded our engagement announcements the way we did, because I think we assumed too much about who would want to come and who would be able to.

So I spoke to the above people verbally and said we had regretted not including them, and that we would be inviting them. They were all very happy, but I got the impression none of them would be coming anyhow. Now, the only person I did not talk to was my grandfather, because in order for him to come, he would need to have my aunt accompany him. I didn't want to make her feel pressured to do so without knowing what she wanted. She never gave me a firm answer on her intentions.

I will be sending out my invitations early this summer, so that anyone who decides "last minute" that they do want to attend, can still organize reasonable flights and accommodations.

But, my main question (which I just took way too long to explain!) was, do you think my grandfather will be upset that I didn't talk to him about this before he receives an invite? I feel like at this point it would be a bit awkward to phone him up and tell him (we don't have that kind of relationship. I only see him once a year at Christmas usually). Or should I just leave it and let him respond as he wishes?

I am probably way overthinking this!

Hmm... I was going to say, "reserve your seat to paradise"

Guests attending __________________

toasting from afar, there in spirit

___________________________

not sure I like it though. Lots of good ideas here. You girls think of everything!

Heidi, are you a teacher? I would surely be given the gears if I sent that one because I am and my family thinks I'm crazy sometimes! But it's very cute!!

We have 14 guests and I am really happy with it. There are four people I'm sad aren't going to be there, but in general I think our size is really nice. We are doing a few things some people might think are "weird" for such a small wedding (such as hiring a DJ), but we want to add it because with such a small group we can afford to do something really nice.

Beautiful job on everything! I love your OOT bags. When did you get them? I'm thinking they are probably last year's summer stock?

Wow! You did an amazing job! Thank you for sharing all the pictures and links. I have saved it all for future reference.

I didn't say anyone was asking for praise.

I totally understand praising someone for sticking to something the believe in. It didn't seem like that's what the praise was for. I hope I didn't make anyone feel bad. It just didn't occur to me to think that way.

I agree with what's been said. We have two indoor cats and our vet advised AGAINST vaccine. Luckily there are still vets out there who don't just want to make money and actually have our cats' health in mind.

The older cat was Colin's before and he just never got them after she was spayed. We got a 6 month kitten last year and I took him for his first visit expecting the vet to do them and he listed all the reasons he's against vaccinating indoor cats (all which have been mentioned- allergies & reactions)

FI's sister vaccinates her 3 cats every year, and I have honestly never met any cats with as many health problems as them.

One of the most convincing arguments my vet told me was that there is no research or studies that show that cat vaccines actually work. The only study ever done was in England and it used a sample of 10,000 cats- which is way way too small of a sample. And one study! And the results were therefore inconclusive.

He recommends rabies vaccines for outdoor cats and that's it.

Welcome! So you live in Hawaii? Where are you getting married? Happy planning!

I totally sympathize. My best friend and my sister won't be there. It crushes me when I think about it too much, but I also know that we made the choice knowing that it was a lot to ask of people and we had to be okay with some people not being there. Honestly, it would take a lot for me to want to be at someone else's DW, so I understand others not able to go.

Welcome from another Jennifer M.

I was shocked Matt wasn't upset about Amanda's prank. Personally I would have been furious. There was nothing funny about that IMHO.

Great review! Thanks for sharing your photos- looks like you guys had a beautiful time!

I think this is entirely a personal choice (and not one I've made) but I don't really understand why the choice to wait is considered something to send kudos about?

I respect either decision, but I don't see myself as weak for having sex prior to marriage, nor do I see anyone else as strong for having waited.