I started a new school in the 8th grade and most of my childhood friends can attest to the fact that I was extremely shy and reserved at first. Only a few classmates really knew me, much less my secrets. The few that I did share every little intimate detail with know how big of a crush I had on Jordan. I use to drive my best friend up the wall with how cute and funny I thought he was, but my Mimmie (grandmother) was the one that heard every little detail concerning how great Jordan was. It became an after school ritual for me to go to her house and sit on her couch for hours discussing school, friends and most importantly...Jordan. She would laugh and giggle and encourage me to actually strike up a conversation with the guy but little shy me would always go, "Oh no Mimmie. He won't like me. He barely even knows I exist."
Little did I know that six years later he would end up rooming with one of my best guy friends. I eventually opened up to my friend about my high school crush on Jordan and that is when he started to play matchmaker. Soon Jordan and I became good friends. So good of friends that I could open up and talk to him about anything. It made me laugh at how silly I use to be when I was too shy to even talk to him. I told Mimmie that we were becoming good friends and that I thought more could be there but I didn't want to rush it. She laughed and said, "Baby, you have liked this boy since you were 14 years old! I'm not sure how much slower you could have taken it." Needless to say a month later we were officially a couple.
I eventually opened up to Jordan about how I use to have the biggest crush on him in high school (a fact that he still will not let me forget) and tell him how it is all about God's timing and there being a reason for us to be together now instead of back then. I never in my wildest dreams thought that we would ever go on a single date; much less that he would ask me to be his wife in the most special of ways.
For those of you who do not know, my Mimmie was very sick. Jordan knew that she did not have much time with us left on earth and how it killed me because I had so many special memories that I still wanted to make with her. So he decided to make her a part of his proposal. It was a common routine for us to go by her house every Sunday afternoon to spend some time and check on her so I thought nothing of it when Jordan had the idea to ride over there on July 7th, 2013. I had no idea this was going to be the day he proposed (you should be able to tell that by my appearance).
As soon as we walked into my grandparent's den he asked me if I knew how much he loved me and instead of getting the hint I just looked at him and said, "No, how much?" He proceeded to get on his knee and propose to me. I later found out that Jordan had gotten permission from my Dad to ask for my hand in marriage and enlisted the help of my mom to make sure she caught the moment on camera. No, this may not be an over the top proposal, and yes I could have definitely been better dressed for the pictures, but that is what makes this so special to me. He knew how special Mimmie was to me and he wanted to make sure that even if she couldn't physically attend the wedding that she would somehow be a part of our special day. God's timing is always perfect. He sent this man to me later in life than I actually wanted him, but right when I needed him the most. I am extremely blessed to have Jordan in my life and super excited to see what else God has in store for us. (It was also be funny to see how we do having the exact same name).
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Just before Christmas, my boyfriend surprised me with an engagement ring and proposal. Since then, it’s been a whirlwind of holiday merriment, family celebration, and tentative wedding planning. With my 33rd birthday now passed and a firm decision on what kind of wedding we want, I find myself scouring the internet for information and advice, but nothing really seems to fit my needs. There are a lot of factors to consider.
Here’s our plan as it stands. Our wedding is going to be budget-conscious, hopefully around $10K. We’re doing a destination wedding, preferably in an English-speaking Caribbean country. He’s Catholic and I’m Hindu, so the wedding needs to be interfaith as well. But I’m not the kind of woman who ever paid much thought to her potential future wedding, so I really don’t have any patience for planning out a host of complicated details! And finally, I’m a feminist so I find a lot of the traditions revolving around weddings (of any religion) give me the heebies.
So there you have it, why I’m calling myself the Mish Mash Bride. Meshing all these things together is not going to be easy. This is just a place for me to talk through the madness.
From here, on discarding traditions and making your own, or picking traditions to carry on.
I’ve had some surprising things to wrestle with now that my wedding is on the horizon. I tell others and I tell myself that my ideal wedding is a court wedding followed by a small, intimate, backyard BBQ party. I’m not an ostentatious person, I prefer not having the spotlight on myself, in my heart I know that a full day of putting myself on display will wear me down. But faced with the actual prospect of my real wedding, I find myself hankering for the type of wedding I’m familiar with, the type of wedding that has the most personal meaning for me: a Hindu wedding. The red dress and gold jewelry, incense and henna patterns, Sanskrit chanting and the olaga playing through the background. All this despite the fact that most Hindu priests annoy the heck out of me.
Apparently I prefer my religion being personal and informal, not officiated or mandated by gatekeepers. And I’m far more traditional than I thought. This wedding is bringing out the Capricorn in me. ;P
Let's get this blog rolling! I'll be posting weddings and daily favorites, here's one Underwater Trash the Dress picture, in the beautiful Riviera Maya, for starters:
Thanks for stopping by! Hope you come back often
Still plugging along!
On Monday, 1/6 (day 6 of this experiment) I forced myself to wake up at 5am and go to the gym with all of the other people who realized it's a new year and we should get off our asses. Good times. After, I had a smoothie with: spinach, almond milk, frozen mixed berries, a banana and chia seeds for breakfast. Lunch was a salad full of veggies, and for dinner Joe made a stir fry with veggies, tofu and brown rice. I fell asleep at 8:30pm (see above re: waking up at 5am).
But that brings me to a point. For as long as I can remember, I have had weird sleep issues. Namely that I can (and often do) fall asleep anywhere. I've seriously wondered if I have a rare form of narcolepsy. I fall asleep in loud movies, in cars when I'm mid-conversation with people (though thankfully not driving), at friend's houses I will fall asleep for a disco nap, then wake up and be completely alert for another 10 minutes, re-join the conversation, and then I'm out again. I also have heard that I sleep walk and talk. Some of the things I've been told I've said recently include: "did you put pajamas on the baby?" (note: I do not have a baby) "WHERE DID YOU PUT MY GRAPES?!" (asked angrily while walking around the room with crazy eyes) "Who is going to pick the strawberries?" etc. At least my sleep talking is also vegan. Hey-o! Joe also claims that the other night I got up, took my pillow, and went into the living room for a few minutes and he has no idea what i was doing. In the mornings I never have any recollection that anything has happened. All of that was to say, maybe this vegan experiment will give me more energy and improve my borderline narcolepsy and sleep walking! I'll keep you posted, as I'm sure you're dying to know!
Tuesday, 1/7 was pretty uneventful. Another smoothie for breakfast then lentil soup and a garden salad for lunch. I went to my favorite spin teacher's class after work and I'm convinced he made the routines harder to punish us for the holidays. Had some gluten free brown rice pasta with an avocado pesto and side salad for dinner. Pretty tasty. Oh! I also discovered this, and will be experimenting with some of these recipes in the coming weeks: http://www.seriouseats.com/2013/03/vegan-recipes-mains-soups-salads-breakfasts-sandwiches-appetizers.html
Joe informed me tonight that when this is over, he may want to try a Paleo diet. God help us.
While Brian is sitting here watching college football (Auburn vs Florida State to the exact) I get the pleasure of wedding planning while I “spend time” with my future hubby. Since we are planning TWO events, I am trying to break down our “To-Do’s” weekly so I do not get too overwhelmed.
St Thomas is May 4-11, 2014 with our Ceremony Date May 6, 2014 in St John
Cape May, NJ Reception June 6, 2014
List of Things I Have Done:
Dress (Said Yes to the Dress!)
Choose Location (Trunk Bay- St John USVI)
Choose Hotel (We are all staying at The Marriott Frenchman’s Reef Resort in St Thomas, USVI)
Flights Booked (check!)
Invitations for our St Thomas Vacation & St John Ceremony (picked out on Etsy, still being designed, not ordered, NOT sent out… I know, I know, I told you I am quite a bit behind)
Wedding Wish Lanterns to send up post-ceremony (check!)
Save the Dates for Cape May Reception (purchased, but not sent out)
Decide on wedding colors (check- blush pink and pewter gray)
Stamps for Invitations (check)
Maps for welcome bags (check! CANNOT WAIT to share photos of these awesome maps the best Etsy shop designed for me!)
Labels for my welcome bags (check)
Guest book for islands (check! Cant wait to show you our unique finger print guest book we had designed for our trip!)
Emailed our photographer about reserving our Cape May reception date!
List of Things To Do This Week:
Stamps for Cape May Save the Dates
Order/Send out Cape May Save the Dates
Order Bridesmaids dresses
Figure out what groomsmen are wearing
Book photographer (Hello Gorgeous Photography!!!)
Contact St John planner
Drop deposit to Cape May reception venue
Contact Adventure Center about our “boat day” in the islands
Order welcome bag supplies- sunblock, chap stick, H2O labels, bags, etc.
Decide on post-ceremony dinner location in either St John or St Thomas USVI (THIS IS WHERE I AM HOPING THIS SITE COMES THROUGH FOR REVIEWS!!)
Contact Marriott St Thomas to discuss room arrangements
Honeymoon location (somewhere in the Caribbean!)
Contact bridal party about flights J
Make snack bag labels “two less fish in the sea” “all because two nuts fell in love” for goldfish & nuts, and water for boat day treats
Hopefully this List of To Do’s get completely completed this week and then it’s on to next week’s list. Baby steps, but like seriously, I can do this! KEEP ME ON TRACK PEOPLE!!!!
Hi BDW world! I am brand new to the site!
My fiance Brian & I are planning our wedding for May 6, 2014. Our wedding is literally four months from today!!!
I wish I could say that I am right on track with all of our plans, but I am definitely, without a doubt, 150% behind schedule based on every one of the four wedding planning timelines that I have been trying to follow. This is super hard for OCD me to admit, but I am way behind. We got engaged last April and I was convinced that 13 months was way WAY more time than what I needed to plan our dream destination wedding, but between my career beginning as a night shift nicu nurse in my dream hospital, my Dad having a few health issues, my mom & I having opposite work schedules, and attempting to spend as much time as I can with my family & fiance, the wedding planning got put on the back burner. I literally have been dreaming of this day since I was 6, and to be honest, I probably starting planning shortly after that 7th birthday.
Let me just say, my entire life has been about planning. Whether it be planning my wedding, my meals, my work schedule, I was ALWAYS making lists of some sort or another. I get so much pleasure out of making a list and completing the contents on that list. Lately, I have still been listing away, but unfortunately I have been slacking with actually completing this list. So, today I decided to get back to my normal self & PLAN! Yay for crossing things off my list!
In addition to planning our destination wedding, we are also planning our reception back home here in Cape May, New Jersey. To sum it up, we are basically planning two events at once... and literally have only four short months left until our first event! Sheesh... should be a very eventful few months! I am planning on posting on this blog as frequently as I can to help track my planning progress and get myself back on track! Try to check back frequently for updates on my planning! I really appreciate any advice or words of encouragement any previous or current destination brides can give me!
Heres to a roller coaster of a wedding planning ride!
Confession: I am already sick of kale. For breakfast I had a kale and tofu scramble with tomatoes, onions and mushrooms and some toast. It was good and filling, but then for lunch I had some leftover kale salad from Sage and that was when I had a vision of the next 85 days being filled with kale.
Shortly after breakfast Joe stated “I don’t know how much longer I can last.” We decided that the reason for boredom and thoughts of wanting to quit were just due to the fact that we had not been shopping in a while and had thrown out all of our non-vegan food (read: everything delicious) so we had a house without any food. We went to a nearby health food store, then Trader Joe’s, and stocked up on granola, almond milk, chia seeds (for smoothies), tons of quinoa, spinach, tomatoes, apples, bananas, strawberries, blueberries, more kale (ugh, Joe added this to the cart), tofu, broccoli, brussel sprouts, hummus, pita crackers, carrots, brown rice, black beans, sweet potatoes, mixed greens and a bunch of other things I’m forgetting. Please note we aren’t savages and normally keep most of these items on hand. Because of the craziness of the holidays, having out of town guests, etc., it had just been awhile since we’d had a full fridge and so the first few days we ate out, partly due to laziness. But we fixed that now! Hooray!
When we came back, we got sucked into an episode of Chopped on the Food Network. One of the chefs was a vegan raw food chef, and that’s when I realized it could be worse. We could have chosen a 90 day raw food diet. Just kidding, that would never happen. I’d rather gouge out my eye with a kale chip. (No offense to anyone reading this who follows a raw food diet. You are a wonderful and mystical creature. Like a unicorn, but better.)
That’s it for today. Time to catch up with some Real Housewives, visit Downton Abbey* and hit the hay.
*Unrelated side story: I once had a legitimate argument with my sister over whether or not it was DowntoWn Abbey. She was convinced there was another “w” in there.
It’s the start of a new year and the husband and I have decided to try an experiment: go vegan for 90 days. My husband Joe LOVES meat, so this should be tough for him. I’m OK skipping meat, but I do enjoy my sweets, and no dairy means no delicious desserts. Obviously there are vegan treats, but it’s not the same. Luckily we live in LA and there are plenty of vegan restaurants and health food stores. Plus, with all the weird food issues in LA we’re not the most difficult couple when we go out to eat in a group. (I’m looking at you: vegan, raw and gluten-free Anna who is also allergic to peanuts.)
Tammy suggested I start a blog to chronicle my journey. So if you hate this, blame her! But it could be a fun way to share what’s happening and also keep me honest. I’m starting this a few days in so this first post is just a quick catch-up of the beginning. Here goes!
We got started on January 1st, and had we planned ahead we would have gotten lots of vegan friendly foods for the house. Instead, for the first few days we ate out at a handful of different vegan restaurants near our place. Native Foods and Sage are two favorites that I’m sure we’ll revisit a lot throughout this experiment. Sage serves KindKreme, which is vegan friendly ice cream and desserts. I discovered a vegan version of Rocky Road ice-cream that isn’t terrible. Yay?
On Friday the 3rd we had a friend’s birthday party to go to, which served as our first test. It was a PIZZA PARTY at a BAR. (Did I mention we’re also giving up alcohol?) It sounded like it would be torture, but it wasn’t too bad. We made sure to get a vegan dinner beforehand so we wouldn’t be tempted, and then we rocked cucumber water all night. Success! We just may be able to do this!
While we had been talking of getting married for a while, things became "official" on Saturday, November 30th. While in my mismatched pj's with my hair tied up in a scarf and no one around, my fiance shocked me by (FINALLY) popping the question and presenting a ring that had been a post-it note doodle (instead of one of the 2 settings I'd picked as "options"). He's pretty conservative and always wants to "see-it" especially when it comes to big purchases. So the fact that he went with my doodle was HUGE! I'm glad he did .
Finally feeling "super official" I set out on a planning rampage. Since my fiance is so easy-going and a "pleaser", I felt it only fair to consider a destination wedding since this was something he felt strongly about. Against his feedback, I made a beeline for Barnes & Noble to buy The Knot's Destination Wedding guide and a planner - which I now realize, I really didn't/don't need.
Armed with my fancy new planning guide and planner, I sat down and followed the advice of a good happily-married friend: "Pick 3-5 MUST-Haves and forget the rest." My top 3 were "no-brainers" (and thankfully aligned with my fiance's):
Location - get pricing for "home" (here in the states) vs. a Destination. For the Destination, I used my own travel experience to help us choose a location that would give us (and our guests) the biggest "bang for buck" while being fairly easy & affordable to get to. All roads led to MEXICO!
Food - a resort that had not just decent but GREAT food. We love a great meal and have a family full of "foodies" so this was an absolute MUST! My fiance pointed out that everyone still raves about the food from my sister's weddding 10 years ago & we should strive for the same!
FUN - a resort that had activities for guests to do should they not want to book excursions etc...
When hashing out the "MUSTs we differ on such as videography, she suggested that I remember to be flexible as well as realistic - which I recently had to apply after getting a pretty pricey videography quote (more on that later).
After spending COUNTLESS exhausting hours combing Google and Tripadvisor for reviews of various resorts, I created a spreadsheet (yes a spreadsheet ) to compare the "Top 5" I felt matched the above "Musts." I found myself getting utterly confused and feeling greatly overwhelmed before creating the spreadsheet. Also, an "A-type" by nature, I was afraid I had somehow overlooked a property to consider. So I naturally bugged my fiance with non-stop "hey, what do you think about this place?" questions. Tired of having his sports watching interrupted, he suggested we consider consulting a Travel Agent/Advisor. I tend to be of the "I got THIS" mindset and figured I could calm my fears/concerns with a post on sites like this. I'm proud to admit I was wrong!
If you are in the early stages of planning and are unsure where to start, I cannot recommend enlisting the help of a Travel Agent/Advisor (TA) enough!
Leave it to the Pros: After checking with DW friends and reading various reviews, I selected 3 pros to conduct a phone interview with. The Knot's DW guide suggested interviewing TAs to assess knowledge, expertise, and fit (among other things). Instead of calling, I emailed each professional as an initial assessment. The TA we selected was the most responsive and addressed every question/point of interest/concern I listed in my inquiry. Upon speaking with her, she confirmed our 1st impression and lived up to the reviews we'd seen on-line. She also provided unsolicited candid feedback re the best time of year for our budget etc... I shared my spreadsheet with her and she did not hesitate to provided candid insight on the properties listed, as well as provide others that we should consider based on what we are looking for.
Finding the right TA will really take what I felt was the biggest "weight" off of you - especially if you can't do a scouting trip! The TA will also take care of your guests travel arrangements, help negotiate best rates etc... Some also can advise you on the location contract - helping to avoid room minimum penalties etc...
To Scout or Not To Scout: We are opting to scout because a) I'm "A-type" (remember?) and b)the front-runner resort offers a deeply discounted weekend where you can taste the food, see the location etc... Initially, DF (dear fiance) was adamant about NOT doing a scouting trip. After pointing out his practice of not making big purchases/investments without doing thorough research and "seeing-it", he relented. I further pointed out that due to the size, our wedding is a "big ticket" item so why should this be treated differently?!
Thanks to our TA, we have 3 locations of interest that we'll be visiting at the end of the month.
In the meantime, I've set my sights on my remaining "Musts": Photographer & videographer, which I hope to narrow down to 2-3 before our trip so we can meet them. After getting a quote ( )from my "dream" videographer here in the states, I had to revisit the "Musts" and rank them in order of true priority & practicality. While a video is something I really want, it is something that will realistically be watched once in a blue after the wedding. With that said, I've moved this to a very strong "Nice to Have."
I think this post has gone on long enough so I will end here....until next time....
p.s. please excuse my niece's toes. she wanted to help take a pic of my ring.
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey