I love how the forum shares progress along the way, so I wanted to go ahead and post our mostly finished website and STD.
We wanted a flexible/customizable website where we could have RSVPs and a large degree of control over the content (including having a range of dates, instead of a single "wedding date", because it's a cruise!). After researching several of the wedding website builders, I realized that it would be easier (and more fun!) to just build it ourselves.
It took a lot more time and effort than getting one a theKnot or myWedding.com site, but IMO it was totally worth it. We're both programmers, so it's a fun side-hobby, and not really out of our element. We're not designers, so we bought a WP theme ($35), but added some php of our own to do some of custom things that we were looking for (like, check out the multiple fun markers on the map!). Also, it's not enabled yet, but WP has a pretty sweet plugin for advanced RSVPs. We're looking forward to using it instead of having response cards: http://wordpress.org/plugins/rsvp/
Let me know what you think!!
Save The Dates: (we opted for email STDs, but will be having paper invites).
We tried to make them look as close to the website as possible while still mostly using fonts that can be rendered in a standard email client.
Website theme: $35
Hosting: ~$6 (per year)
DNS: $3 (per year)