How to tell people they're not invited?

CarlaP · November 2, 2009

I'm getting married in April, and didn't send out Save the Dates, but have basically spoken to everyone I intend to send an invitation to, just to get a feel for who might be coming. We're only inviting close friends and family, with probably 15 guests max. A few of my friends from high school have heard through word-of-mouth back home that I'm getting married, and have started to inquire about the wedding - I had not planned on inviting them. Can anyone give me an idea of how to tell them they won't be invited? As a side note, I was invited to and attended their weddings. Please help if you can!

MayaLove · November 2, 2009

Just be honest with them. What you just said in your post is perfect. Tell them you decided to have an intimate wedding with a few relatives and friends. Tell them the reasons that you and your FI chose to do it, if they ask. But you really don't need to and shouldn't feel that you need to explain much at all to them. Most will understand and be okay with it. It's going to be hard for someone to take it personally, imo.

Now if you were having a large wedding and they were hearing about it but weren't going to be invited, that's a different story. But them knowing that it's an intimate wedding with those closest to you and FI should make it pretty clear and understandable that they won't be invited.

Alot of people choose to have smaller, intimate weddings. Don't feel bad about it, even if they invited you to their wedding. It's your wedding and it's perfectly fine.

*Meagan* · November 2, 2009

I agree with mayalove. Tell them whats going on and that you are only have immediate family and a few close friends. They maybe a little upset that they can not spend your special with you. But Im sure the will understand.

BachataBride · November 2, 2009

I agree with Jenna & Meagan...just be honest.

They should understand if you are just wanting a quiet intimate wedding. Although, keep in mind you cannot stop them from going to the same resort on a vacation of their own! Let's hope they don't stoop to that level!! I'm sure they will respect your wishes. Are you doing an AHR? You could tell them you are having a quiet intimate wedding, but would love to see them at the AHR...

Good luck - I'm sure it will all work out!

simba1234 · November 2, 2009

I've been telling friends that I'm only inviting family:) That has been my out. In reality we're only inviting family and very close friends but I haven't been telling acquaintences about the 'close friends' so as not to offend them. I think that when ppl hear it's a small intimate wedding with just family, they don't get as offended. Good luck...it's a sensitive topic!

CarlaP · November 3, 2009

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it! Like you said, Simba, I don't think I'll say "close friends" because until I moved rather far away 3 years ago, we were pretty close friends. But you've all made me feel better about this!