| Originally Posted by ErinB |
There really isn't DW etiquette. Traditionally, the only thing the bride and groom are to pay for is bridal party accommodations. They still have to find their own way there!
It is up to your guests, especially with a year+ notice to save up and decide to go. We looked at everything on a case by case basis. For example, a GM is a mortgage broker so has been a little slow. He didn't have the money to pay for the trip by the commitment date so we lent him the money. We did offer each bridal party member a "credit" to help defray the cost of the trip and bought the girl's dresses.
I would say do NOT offer to pay for anyone. Later, if you have the ability and decide together to help out a particular family member who otherwise could not afford to come, then so be it. It's not fair to pay for one side and not another.
You need to use the money you saved to put towards your life together--buy a house, car, re-decorate, invest, etc.
I am still in school and the wedding is in October of 2009. I sent invitations to everyone in the bridal party and the last couple of line said, "if you can't commit I understand" and I also explained that I realized the cost would be great.
Nevertheless my future MOL has been talking to the BM (fi brother) and she asked me if I realized the cost I was imposing and all of the people I was potentially excluding.