leogurl

Over a year ago I was planning a destination wedding to Riviera Maya, but my fiance and I broke up. We are now back together, and have a baby on the way. We would really like to get married in Mexico still, but now, it will just be the two of us, more of an elopement/babymoon. We are looking for no more than a 7 night stay sometime in September. Anyone have any ideas on how to do this really cheaply? I've been looking at many of the wedding packages for resorts, and they all seem to be $700+ which is quite a bit when it will only be the two of us. It really doesn't have to be fancy. Anyone have any ideas?

Welcome new destination brides! It is really frustrating to not have the details to be able to tell people. One thing that helps is to find the 2008 and 2009 threads on the resort you plan to marry at, and read through the information already there, and then ask lots of questions about rates, activities, etc. It helps with being able to give some general details to guests about how much to save anyway.

 

Panda91736, my guess about the TA's on this site is that they already have lots of clients and are pretty busy, and certain TA's have really good business relationships with specific resorts, so that if you mention you would like to get married at a resort at which none of the TA's have a relationship built with already, they may take longer in getting back to you. That's just a guess though. It sounds like you're satsified with destinationweddings.com so far though, so that's good. I think there are some reviews of them on this site if you do a search.

Wow, you wrote a very beautiful ceremony, and being that it came from you makes it that much more meaningful. Great job!

 

I was wondering, did your group do any trips or excursions while you were there?

estella1007, do you have any pictures? I'd love to see how you attached the tulle.

 

chloe55, the guys got their hats at a local hat store here in Portland, but they do have an online website. They got collapsable straw hats. Not sure what they paid, but all of the guys like them.

 

John Helmer Haberdasher - Headwear, fedoras, hats, caps, berets, Panamas, derby

Has anyone tried to make a birdcage veil or fascinator. I got some netting from a fabric store for real cheap ($1.99) and want to try and make one. I've found some websites with instructions, but I would love to hear or see what other people have tried. My FI and the groomsmen are wearing fedora hats, and I thought it would be nice to have the birdcage veil with a silk flower fascinator and some feathers. And if it turns out to be easy, then I will make fascinators for my bridesmaids too.

I need some advice in figuring out when we should arrive at the resort. Our wedding is on a Friday, and originally we planned to be there on a Wednesday and have the ceremony on Saturday (it's a symbolic ceremony, we'll get married here in the US before we go). I was thinking about going on a Tuesday to be there one day early, but then I felt like it would be kind of lame to go to work just one day on Monday and then leave Tuesday. We plan to have some activities for guests planned Wed-Sun, but maybe we should change the travel days to Tuesday-Saturday. Any thoughts?

I swear that every time one issue resolves itself, a new issue begins.

 

My FI is constantly getting into fights with his BFF who is also his Best Man. Right before we got engaged, the BFF flaked out on my FI's bday. I bought tix for 10 for a holiday party bus (they take us to different bars, clubs, and even a couple strip clubs). My FI selected 8 people to go, but he had no idea what we were doing, as it was a surprise for him. The day of the event the BFF and his girlfriend decide it's not well-organized, and the bus leaves before they can get there. I sent out many e-mails and texts and encouraged them to ask me questions if they had any. Well, my FI is the kind of guy who playfully tries to get his surprise out of people. His BFF told him 4 days before we went. My FI acted like he had no idea though, for my benefit. Sooo mad. They work together, so I guess at work BFF was telling the other guys at work that if he ended up having to pay for his tix, he would kick me in the crotch. He tries to be a funny guy, but I don't think that's funny, it just shows me how cheap he is and how much he didn't want to go.

 

A week and a half later, we got engaged. He asked everyone to be in the wedding except BFF, and asked his brother to be his best man. Well, eventually BFF and FI made up, and somehow BFF misinterpretted their make-up talk to mean that he is in the wedding. He seemed so excited and happy to go, and BFF was telling everyone at this bday party we were at, so I just told my FI to just let him be in the wedding, but to beware. So my FI was so happy to have his BFF back that he made him a second Best Man. I told him that was a bad idea, and I think the idea is lame, but he wanted it that way, so I went with it.

 

They have had some conflicts since, and the latest has got me so tired, I don't know what to believe. We have an annual camping trip we take with our friends in the summer, and this year BFF wants to organize it. Well, my FI invited someone (call him George) who BFF does not like (they all work together) and he got mad at FI and threw a tantrum the whole day while work yesterday. Plus they carpooled, so it continued. I know that BFF was upset that FI invited George last year, and the girlfriend also does not like George. I completely understand both BFF's side and my FI's side, but I think their fighting is ridiculous. This could easily be resolved if they talked, but instead BFF has to open his mouth and make things worse. Apparently FI's brother was not going to be invited, because BFF's girlfriend hates him. Not a good thing to tell my FI because family is really, really important to him and his culture. George was not going to be invited because last year he was making BFF's girlfriend feel uncomfortable because he looked at her weird. And the best one, BFF's girlfriend says I don't dress well, and so it's not surprise that my wedding colors are ugly. I have found over the past three years, that anytime BFF is scared to say something, he blames it on his girlfriend, and he has not problem making her look like a bitch or an idiot. My FI is mad at him but now he hates BFF's girlfriend because of what she said about me and for hating his brother. I happen to know she does dislike his brother, but I've never thought it would be so bad that she would refuse to go camping because he'll be there, and BTW, I like how I dress. And she does not dress well herself, so I cannot see her saying that about me. Like it's really weird. I don't know whether this is another case of BFF putting it on her. I do consider her a good friend, and I'm always up for confronting people, but I'm not sure if I should get involved considering this is between my FI and his friend. I don't know if I should try to have a conversation with BFF, if I should call up his girlfriend and ask her why she's saying stuff, or what. Last time I didn't get involved, and they worked it out after a couple months, but I am still holding on to the comment BFF made about kicking me in the crotch. Any objective advice for me?

I just confirmed my wedding date for March 5th, 2010 at Dreams Tulum. I haven't really had to do anything with the resort yet, but the Dreams Tulum thread is so organized and there are lots of brides still hanging out that are very friendly and willing to answer questions.

Sorry to hear that your friend won't be there for your wedding or reception. It's so disappointing when our loved ones can't make it. I know that I too would be questioning my friendship if my MOH chose volunteering at a camp over my reception after not being able to attend the wedding. Although,I wouldn't put her in that situation to have to choose, because I would have checked with her before confirming a date. Sorry, but I do think it's a little selfish to expect people to attend your AHR unless you told them about the possible date ahead of time and they agreed to that date. I think you're right to be upset with her for not being straightforward with you though. I also think, if you really consider her to be a good friend, than it's understandable to be frustrated that she lives her life around her boyfriend. But some girls are just like that, and you have to decide how she fits in with your ideas about how a close friend should be. And if she doesn't match up, it's okay. I truly believe people are meant to be in our lives for a certain purpose and a certain time, and sometimes they just fade away. It doesn't mean that the time you had shouldn't be cherished, it just means that people change. So I don't think you have to end the friendship, but maybe you need to start looking at that friendship in a different way? I don't know though, those are just my thoughts, and I hope it works out in a way in which you feel okay.

Hello all! I have officially decided on Dreams Tulum. My FI and I are getting married March 5th, 2010. I had originally planned to get married at Moon Palace, but we decided to change it, and I am so happy we did. Haven't gotten through all the pages yet, but I'm so appreciative of how well laid-out this thread is. Very impressive!

Well, this isn't quite true, but it's a nice thought. Initially, she insisted over and over again that the reason she didn't tell me about "new guy" was exactly that: she wanted to be sure that she was serious about someone before saying anything about him. But, if she met this guy one year from now, she'd have no problem telling me all about him from the get-go. The real reason she didn't tell me is because she felt embarassed to be dating someone so soon after her divorce. I did bring this up to her, and she did admit that this was true. And I ensured her that I'm not bothered by her dating people. I told her I didn't like to be the last one to know, and that bothers me. I also told her that I don't like to hear she thinks it's a great idea to ask a guy to my wedding after only knowing him for two months. She gets it, and we had a good talk. I told her how I feel, and I told her that I shouldn't act like a spoiled brat and that she can invite whoever she wants to the wedding. I do trust her judgment of character in people, so I know "new guy" is likely a nice guy. Everything is fine now. Well, I still don't feel I'm 100% accepting, but I will put my weirded out feelings aside and put on a happy face. And maybe by the time the wedding does happen my weirded out feelings will be gone. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll have the opportunity to meet him before the wedding. I'd love to go to my cousin's wedding to meet "new guy" there, but even if my mom pays for the tickets, my FI and I just don't have the money for hotel, car rental, food, and entertainment. It will be hard for me to get time off at that time too seeing as how I am taking time off for an annual camping trip the weekend prior. I'm sure everything will work out how it's supposed to though. Thanks everyone again for your opinions!

Thank you for all of your opinions. I'm not offended at all. I need to hear from some outsider people, because it's hard to get an objective opinion when I talk to my friends and FH. And if I'm acting like a spoiled brat, I can take hearing it. I'm an only child, so when it comes to my mom, I often revert back to being a spoiled brat. I'm not upset at all that my mom is dating. I think it's great that she dates. I guess I'm upset because she just got divorced in December from a great guy and is already jumping into a new relationship. She'd already met new guy's family before I even knew he existed, I didn't even know she had been contemplating dating yet. I have single friends who already plan to come alone to the wedding, not because they don't want to bring a date, but they know that inviting someone to come at this early of a point in a relationship is not a good idea in case it does not work out. I wish my mom thought like that, and in my mind, my mom has always been wise, so it's really disappointing to me. I don't know if this makes any sense, but it's kind of like I had a different image of my mom that I was really proud of, and now I'm realizing that's not who she is. I know I would feel much differently if she'd have told me from the beginning she was dating someone, and then after maybe 6 months of dating him she mentioned wanting to possibly take him to the wedding, I'd have a much different reaction. Because in my mind, dating someone exclusively for 6 months sounds reasonable enough to be thinking about taking them to a destination wedding for your daughter. But to me, only two months, and not saying a word to me about the guy, well, it just doesn't sit right with me. I'll get over it, and I'll give her my blessing to bring him. I do know it will all turn out fine. I just needed to vent and get my head on straight. Thanks everyone!

I don't know if I'm just PMS'ing and really emotional, if what I'm experiencing is the normal concerned child experience when parents begin dating, or if I have a really valid opinion.

 

So my father passed away in 2003. My dad was an alcoholic and not the easiest person to be with, but my mother stuck by him through everything. I moved across the states from my mom to begin graduate school less then a year later, this is where I currently live. A year after my dad passed my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, and it sucked that I was not there. She had many guys interested in dating her, but she dated one guy exclusively, and he supported her through her doctor appointments and surgeries. I had a hard time accepting it at first, but I didn't say anything or do anything about the weirdness. I just knew it felt weird, but I got over it. So he eventually moved in with my mom, and they married 07/07/07. At this time I really liked him, because he was such a good person and treated my mom in a way that my dad never did. In October 08, she said they are getting divorced, and I was so upset. My mom said she didn't really love him in that way, and she married him out of appreciation for how he supported her through her breast cancer treatment (she recovered fully by the way). She said she really tried, and she thought she would eventually fall in love with him rather than just love him, but it just was not enough for her. I forgave her, and I understand now how hard it was for her. I don't think what she did was right, because I know he was heartbroken and he was so good to her and to me. But I understand. So a couple months after their separation, I get engaged. I tell my mom about the destination wedding and how it will be in March 2010, and I encouraged her to find someone to bring, like a friend.

 

So now this is the part where I get upset. Last weekend, my mom tells me she's been dating someone for two months. I had no idea, no hints or anything. And the way she tells me is by saying "I might take someone to your wedding". Immediately I got upset. I was so mad that she hid from me the fact that she was dating someone. We had a fight, but we made up, and I thought she understood. She didn't. She started telling me again that she's planning on taking this guy to my wedding, although she does at least acknowledge that she does not know if they will still be together even. I told her that she can't bring someone I've never met to the wedding (we're having a small wedding, only inviting close friends and family who have known as a couple, so probably about 25 people total). So she's offering to fly me and my fiance to my cousins wedding in Alabama this summer because she's bringing this guy with her to that wedding. I don't know what to do. My FI agrees that it's strange for my mom to do this. He also really bonded with my ex-step-dad, so he probably feels some allegiance to him yet. My mom is not the flirty type or the kind of woman who needs a man; she's very independent. I feel like she is rushing into relationships without thinking about me. Of course, it's not about me, I don't live neaby her, and her only family besides me in the States is her sister in Alabama. So I realize she's probably lonely and wants to enjoy life after the exhausting marriage she had with my father for 25 years. I just don't know that I'm ready to have her be so into someone already so soon. And she swears the feelings she has for this guy are different and that she wouldn't have told me if she wasn't sure about him. She accused me of not wanting her to be happy, which is ridiculous. I told her I don't want to spend my wedding having to be fake nice and getting to know some guy. I'm sure everything will work itself out, and it will be fine. But I hate feeling like my mom is being naive and thoughtless. And maybe I'm just being selfish. Anyone have any thoughts?

I am also trying to shed off some pounds so am not looking for a wedding dress quite yet. My mom is coming in a couple of weeks though to visit (she lives in Minnesota, I live in Oregon) so we're going to look for dresses with 3 of my BM's. I'm just planning on trying on dresses to find a style that I like. And then once I lose some significant weight, I will go dress shopping again. I'm lucky, two of my BM's are also engaged, so we never get tired of wedding talk.

I don't have a date officially set, but I am hoping for Saturday the 6th or Friday the 5th. I put in my request to our new TA on Monday but haven't heard anything yet. I haven't heard of many March 2010 brides at all, so it's exciting to find someone whose at the same resort.

I second that. It's true that 2010 is quite a ways away yet, and I feel lots of pressure to immediately make the right resort choice by guests, but also from myself. I appreciate the reminder (kudos to Northernflasher)that it's okay to take it slow. I had originally planned to have my wedding at Moon Palace because the wedding package is so ideal, but everyone was upset about the price. Fortunately, our TA kind of flaked out, so after waiting a month for a confirmation wedding date for Moon Palace, we realized there was never going to be a wedding date with the TA we were using, I decided to again look at resorts. Although I really love the wedding package that Moon Palace offers, I am now going with Dreams Tulum, which is much more the style of a wedding I would like overall. I initially wanted a small, intimate wedding, just inviting those who have known us as a couple. Dreams Tulum really gives us the excuse to do that, and those who already know they are going (bridal party and parents) are happy that they will be paying $100/night less. I still have not signed anything, so there's some time to change my mind again, but I feel much better about this choice. I still need to remind myself though that I have plenty of time and do not have to worry.

I can relate to that. I'm very happy that I decided to do a free wedding website. We put our wedding website address on our STD's, and only one person looked at the site. Eventually, I did enough sending out e-mails to people and telling people to check it out, that others finally looked at it. People seem to prefer to talk to us about everything than read it on the website.

Wow, that sucks. What I have heard is that I will have to put the deposit down to hold the rooms. I've never heard that anyone needs to all book at the same time. One of the benefits of using a travel agent is supposed to be that people don't have to pay everything all at once. Have you tried more than one travel agent?

It doesn't bother me that having a potluck is in bad taste. I consider such etiquette to be part of the majority Caucasian-American culture, which we are not, so going with Chicano tradition suits me just fine. FI and I have a compromise. I wanted a small destination wedding, and he wanted a huge wedding reception to entertain his family. I guess I'll just have to get over not liking the term "potluck" because it doesn't seem like there is anything better.

Welcome! Good luck in your site visit. Picking a resort is so hard. There's just so many great options.

We are hosting it; it will be our only official reception since we only plan on doing only an intimate dinner and cocktail hour with our guests after the wedding in Mexico.

I guess I'm not sure that everyone would need to bring something. I haven't really decided that. The family events in which I have been to, FI's immediate family never made anything, but most of the other family members made something. So I know not everyone will bring something. And I don't expect my family, who may or may not show up because they have to travel halfway across the US, to make/bring food. So calling it a potluck on the invitation may not be the best idea afterall.

We will not be expecting gifts, especially if guests are bringing food. But we will likely register somewhere so that people who have the money and want to give a gift can.

I plan to do TTD in my original dress, but I don't plan on spending much on my wedding dress anyway. I could see not wanting to ruin it though for sentimental purposes or if it was being worn again at an at-home-reception. I have heard from some brides that their dress was fine after a TTD session, so it's possible it might not even be ruined.

So my FI is Chicano and our AHR is going to follow his family's culture and tradition of having a potluck style fiesta. No one in his immediate family has done this, but it is the type of receptions he attended while he was growing up. We are planning to do this in his family's hometown, which is 3 hours away, but where the majority of both of his father's and mother's relatives live. So any ideas on a way to explain this type of reception to people who are not familiar with the culture, like my family, our friends, co-workers, etc. No one has had any problems with the way I describe it, but it just seems like there's probably a classier way of saying "Mexican-style potluck". I have no idea how I will word it on an actual invitation either, but I have plenty of time (about a year) to think about it.

I have a TA question for ya'll. I have had the hardest time with e-mail correspondence with my TA lately. I used the TA banner up top of BDW, and one of the TA's from this website gave her my information, so I assumed she's good. After she made her first contact, she wasn't in touch with me again for over a week, which wasn't a big deal since I hadn't figured out what I was doing, and I just figured I'd have to find a different TA since she didn't respond to my e-mails. Well then she finally did contact me and apologized that she'd been out of the office for a week. So time goes by, she's been great with e-mail with correspondence, and we decide on MP. She tells me she'll confirm our wedding date with MP. And then I don't hear from her for two weeks. So I got frustrated and called her on a Monday. She thanked me for being patient, hadn't confirmed my wedding date yet, and said she'd been out for a week because of family issues. She did say she'd contact me within the next couple days. Never heard from her and another week went by. I e-mailed her again. Another week has gone by with nothing. Before when I e-mailed her, she'd respond within 24 hours, so I assumed this was a great way of communicating. I am frustrated because at this point, I don't know if our wedding date has been confirmed even though I told her over a month ago which day & time we want. I'm a pretty laid back person and do understand having family emergencies, etc., but I have never used a TA before and have no idea if this is normal. She has assured me though that we'll be able to get group rates between $350-$400 per room, so I do not want to have to search for another TA and possibly start all over again finding a resort that my guests can afford. Any suggestions? I do plan to call her again Tuesday evening if I don't get a response.

I too am getting married on the beach. Could you post or send me the e-mail you got with the different beach options? I'm really interested in seeing what MP can do.