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Who is paying for what?

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#11 amandalovesryan

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    Posted 13 January 2008 - 11:47 PM

    Ann, I know that you are right. I know that I should not be bratty about this but if I was having a wedding at home, I know that they would pay for things and i guess that is the annoyance. I will try to take you positive thoughts and keep repeating them to make my bitchiness go away! Thanks!

    Monica, there is no way that he would say that to his parents and that annoys me to!
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    #12 monicabrandon2008

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      Posted 13 January 2008 - 11:50 PM

      Yea, my FI would never say anything to his parents either LOL but thought I'd throw it out there = )

      #13 Chiquita

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        Posted 14 January 2008 - 12:58 AM

        Me and Jayson assumed we would be paying for everything. My parents have offered to give us money, but I'm not counting on anything. Jayson's parents recently said, "well what can we pay for?" and we said that we just want them there. They came back with "how about the alcohol at the reception" and we said "great!" I'm not gonna argue with them if they are offering to pay for anything but it wasn't expected. All our family and friends are paying their own way to get there and stay, so we didn't want to ask family for additional money even though both have offered. We'll see how much help we end up getting :)

        #14 cheese_diva

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          Posted 14 January 2008 - 01:31 AM

          Originally Posted by AnnR
          see, i never even once considered the fact that anyone would help pay for anything - i mean, it's our wedding. we're the ones asking people to come to a different country to see us get married. don't get me wrong, everyone was super excited to come - but it did cost them some $$. so Paul and I paid for everything - but we never even thought about someone offering. i'm sure we would have happily taken it (duh! lol) but no one did. paul's parents did give us a generous ($5K) cash gift after the wedding, which was a surprise. i say just be grateful that you're getting the help, and don't hold a grudge! maybe they have no idea that you expect them to offer.
          I agree completely.. maybe it's because I was older when I got married (32).. I'm just glad my parents could afford (barely) to make it to the wedding. I would never EXPECT anyone to pay for my wedding other than my DH and myself.. isn't that what being 'grown up' is all about? With that being said, after the wedding we were given $3K from Matt's mom and more tk with the baby (nice holdout!).. so that went into the bank but we didn't consider it towards the wedding since that was already paid for. Now that we're married it was "our" money that paid for the wedding but in reality it was my monthly bonus that paid as we went. It was a nice feeling that I was able to afford the decisions I made, but we came up with the budget together and I feel proud that we didn't overspend but we still had a beautiful wedding.
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          #15 Jenn

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            Posted 14 January 2008 - 01:39 AM

            Well put Angela :)

            Sam and I expected to pay for everything ourselves, but my mom actually contributed a large part of our wedding ($8k). We paid for their hotel room because we felt it was too much for them to then pay for travel as well. FI's family never offered to pay for anything - nor did I really expect the offer.

            #16 starchild



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              Posted 14 January 2008 - 08:05 AM

              We intended to pay for it all ourselves. After we announced our crazy plan for a wedding in Mexico to my parents, my mom literally put my dad on the phone to talk money....lol

              I explained I wasn't asking for money but just informing them of our plans, but my dad wanted to and has always planned to pay for his daughter's wedding. Father of the bride tradition, I guess. I'm the only daughter so this was his one shot and who am I to deny his generousity? Hehe..

              Anyway, he contributed a good amount toward the wedding which was a treat as we weren't expecting it.

              #17 Spazz

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                Posted 14 January 2008 - 09:03 AM

                Mike and I are paying for everything, including our mom's trips to Jamaica. My mom wants to pay for something, so she said she would host the welcome party we are having and my gift from her was my dress and veil. I think just being the ages we are (28 and 34), we've been on our own for so long, that we never thought of someone else paying for our wedding. Don't get me wrong, if someone offered to pay, we would gladly accept it...lol!

                #18 BarefootBride

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                  Posted 14 January 2008 - 09:35 AM

                  I know the feeling --- EXCEPT WORSE! My parents pretty much tried to change my mind about my DW by telling me that they would pay for the whole thing if I got married in Houston (my hometown), granted my FI and I live in Japan.... (can you imagine planning an actual traditional wedding across the other side of the world?? - STRESSFUL) Well, I didnt budge but what really P***ed me off was when I was just in the US during the holidays, my parents and I went wedding dress shopping, they didnt offer to put a penny on my dress! My parents arent even coming to the wedding. My FI's parents are coming and my FI hinted to me that they were going to pay for the wedding!!!!!!
                  But BACK ON YOU!!! (had to vent!!)

                  I think that if your FI's parents are financially okay then I think that they should of been nice enough to offer to pay for you and your husbands flight and accommodations to the wedding destination or host a pre-wedding party!

                  I assumed that we were going to pay for everything! I guess because it took us so long to get married! Hes 40 and never been married and Im 29. I guess it would be a really nice gesture if someone offered to help out but I guess its not happening. Oh well!

                  #19 becks



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                  Posted 14 January 2008 - 10:34 AM

                  I guess there's good and there's bad. FI and I assume we're paying for everything. We're financially in decent shape (both in our late 30s... it happens that way), so it's not a huge stretch for us. Both sets of parents have said they'd like to contribute (my dad said he thought he should pay something to have FI "take me off his hands." LOL - I love my daddy!!), but we've sort of indicated that its not a big deal.

                  The nicest part about being able to pay for it ourselves, is that we have no problem telling people that their input/gripes/weird requests/etc. won't likely be considered. It was wonderful to tell both sets of parents that it would be immediate family and our friends only - I don't have to worry about my second cousins, my mother's tennis partner, FI's horrid aunt, etc.

                  Yup. Best part about not taking money from a parent, is that when you say "Thanks, but this is OUR wedding", they've got nothing to come back with.

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                  #20 LeXiee

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                    Posted 14 January 2008 - 12:45 PM

                    FH and I are paying for everything ourselves. I don't want anyone to help pay for it.. Already everyone is paying their own trip to come to our Wedding.

                    PLUS... no one knows we are doing extra things like giving them each tons of gifts etc.... everything will be a huge surprise to them.

                    Oh and my FH parents' both work at the same place and the company closed in December... so they are both out of work. So I'm so glad we aren't depending on anyone to pay for our wedding.

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