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Disapointed in turnout. Am I alone?


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#11 starchild

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    Posted 08 January 2008 - 03:48 AM

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by yboone98
    I decided to breakdown & tell my mom & FI how I'm feeling via a 3 way phone conversation. Their bottom line: FORGET WHO CAN'T MAKE IT. My FI said that as long as he & I are there, along with our parents, no one else matters.
    That's so true and the best advice you can get...although I know it doesn't help you feel a whole lot better now :o( I went through it, although we wanted a tiny wedding so I wasn't mad about that, but irked that people who "should" have gone either said no or bailed at the last minute.

    Do you know that 7 months after my wedding 2 of them haven't spoken to us at all? Two people who rsvp'd with a yes haven't called us to find out if we made it back and how it went, let alone explain why they didn't make it to Mexico.

    This is a golden opportunity to filter out those who have your back from those who don't. I promise you that these no-shows won't cross your mind when you're at your dream wedding. It really is their loss and you may just eliminate some excess relationships that aren't as true as you thought they were. Sad to say it, but that is the bright side to all this. It was for us.

    I'm sorry you are down, it will pass though. Best wishes :o)

    #12 twinkletoes

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      Posted 08 January 2008 - 10:39 AM

      Quote:
      Originally Posted by starchild
      That's so true and the best advice you can get...although I know it doesn't help you feel a whole lot better now :o( I went through it, although we wanted a tiny wedding so I wasn't mad about that, but irked that people who "should" have gone either said no or bailed at the last minute.

      This is a golden opportunity to filter out those who have your back from those who don't. I promise you that these no-shows won't cross your mind when you're at your dream wedding. It really is their loss and you may just eliminate some excess relationships that aren't as true as you thought they were. Sad to say it, but that is the bright side to all this. It was for us.

      I'm sorry you are down, it will pass though. Best wishes :o)
      Very well said Jamy. I'll just piggyback off your response and say Ditto. lol Defitenly about the excess relationships. Over these past couple of months (not just based on attending the wedding), but I am surely finding out some people come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime.
      2 Hearts, 1 Love 08.08.08Punta Cana, D.R.

      #13 newfiebride

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        Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:09 AM

        Nope, you definately aren't alone. I feel the same way. Everyone was so gung-ho to go and now that its getting nearer they all bailing on me, such as the best man and my cousin who was doing the photos. So now I have to come up with another thousand dollars to pay for a photgrapher.

        So needless to say, I also feel very disappointed and frustrated but I do understand that some people just can't make it

        #14 starchild

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          Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:16 AM

          Quote:
          Originally Posted by twinkletoes
          Over these past couple of months (not just based on attending the wedding), but I am surely finding out some people come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime.
          Totally. And I've learned it's not a matter of being mad at these people, although that comes at first, but in the end it's just like you do your thing and I'll do mine. Whatever, you know?

          Someone once told me he was backing away from all the marginal people in his life, the ones who required too much work to be friends with. At the time ( I was 18 ) I thought he was an ass but I'm starting to agree with that. I harbor no hate, but I'm not going out of my way for certain people anymore.

          Thank goodness for weddings, right? Look how we learn...lol

          #15 becks

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          Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:19 AM

          I'm sorry that you aren't getting the response you want. And while we all probably anticipate that not everyone will be able to come, we all sit here with every hope that they all will - after all, we invite people because we want them there.

          Right now I'm dealing with my best friend (my would-be MOH) telling me that she may not be able to make it. Ugh! Hard to know how to handle - right now I'm just trying to make sure that it doesn't impact my day-to-day stuff.

          On the other hand, there are two couples that we figured wouldn't make it (both with newborns) who not only have told us they will be there, but are voting on location. Amazing what you learn about your friends in this process...

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          #16 boscobel

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            Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:20 AM

            Funny how that works, isn't it? Originally, we wanted a smaller scaled DW and a full size AHR, but we were getting so many people saying that they wanted to come, we decided to make it an open invitation and let whoever comes, come. Well it turns out that not even the people that wre originally supposed to come are going, let alone the people that we included after they all said they wanted to come!!!! It is very frustrating and it's hard to let it go. Somedays I am mad about it, somedays I am fine. A smaller DW I think is more intimate and totally more my style, why we chose a DW in the first place! I just wish people would say they aren't coming so I could move on with my plans.

            #17 foxytv

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              Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:34 AM

              It's a tough thing to find out the people you want to share in your special day won't be able to make it.

              But, FH and I made a pact when we decided on a DW that we would be understanding and not get upset with ANYONE who couldn't make it -- from the outset or last minute.

              I still have a feeling that we will have some guests back out last minute b/c airfare prices are so high and they didn't secure them when rates were lower -- but I will have to deal with that.

              Final payments for our group are due next week and only about 4 people are Paid In Full.

              The only thing I can tell you as a little piece of advice is to remember that at the end of the day, it's YOUR day and your FH day ... and that is what matters ... b/c truly, some of the people who DO make it you might not even be in touch with years down the road ... adn some who can't make it you will remain close with -- and that's the test of true friendship.

              #18 Heidi

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                Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:35 AM

                I can relate. So many of my friends told me they could come after I sent out the STDs. Now none of them are coming except my 2 friends who are bridesmaids. I wouldn't have minded them not coming, it's just that they told me they wouldn't miss it, and now they have all sorts of excuses. It all comes down to honesty...if they would've been honest from the start I wouldn't be upset about it! They could've said something like 'wow, I would really LOVE to go, but I"m not sure if I can yet. I'll definitely let you know;' instead of 'OMG! I'm totally there! I can't wait!'

                You're not alone!!!
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                #19 starchild

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                  Posted 08 January 2008 - 11:39 AM

                  Gosh all of our stories sound the same, lol!

                  If everyone who said "I'm there!" when we mentioned it came, we would have had almost 200 people.

                  If everyone who rsvp'd yes to the STD came, we would have had about 75.

                  If everyone who rsvp'd yes to the invitation came, we would have had about 50.

                  We had 35. Yes, 6 weeks before our wedding (when we sent the formal invites) some people were either fooling us or fooling themselves, because they said they would make it and they couldn't.

                  I know some people couldn't afford it and felt bad and all that, but just saying no would have been a better option than stringing us along while waiting for a bag of money to fall from the sky.

                  But I digress....I've learned a lot from all of our experiences!

                  #20 boscobel

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                    Posted 08 January 2008 - 12:02 PM

                    Exactly! That is all I want. I would've been content with 100's of no's! It's just that you can't plan anything for down there until you know the number. our budget for Jamaica is small since we are going all out for our AHR and depending on the amount, ti would be great to have a private reception. I can't wait to send my invites so I can hopefully get more honest no's.




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