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Disapointed in turnout. Am I alone?

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Originally Posted by Tlseege View Post
I'd love to come, but I have a prior engagement... MY WEDDING! he he, we are date twins!
Awww...too bad for that! Good idea, bad timing! LOL

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Originally Posted by starchild View Post
... in the end it's just like you do your thing and I'll do mine. Whatever, you know?


I am so with you on this! I think this might be my motto for the month!

I have learned who my true friends are in this process. It's not been the easiest journey for me... I left home young (21) to a new town where I knew no one. I have made friends here, and for a long while they were good friends.

Now something like this comes up, and one by one all these friends have 'better things to spend their money on'... 2nd computers, 50" TV's, hot tubs etc. I'm not bitter about this, because it is just showing ME where THEIR priorities are. I think if they were doing the same, I would have made a commitment to be there and I would be there.

Incidentally, my bestest girlfriend that I've known since grade 5 and have seen all of 6 times in the last 15 years is coming.

What does that tell you? TRUE friends are friends forever, not just when it's convinient for them.

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We are all in the same boat. I was just having a pity party about the same things mentioned above!

Ok, so I think I just need to vent, so bear with me!

 

My fiance's brother is getting married 3 weeks before we are. I'm a little up-set because 1. My fiance is the oldest son 2. We were engaged 3 months before his brother 3. We have been together for 6 years compared to the 2 of his brother.

 

So far I've heard comments about how expensive this is going to be for his family, like it's all my fault. Several family members have also said they can't afford to both weddings, especially since they are so close together, but they will go to his brother's wedding since it is first and they'll just see us there. (and they better have a big fat check!)

 

His brother's fiancee also e-mailed me that she might not make it to our wedding beacuse it is so soon after her wedding and honeymoon and doesn't know how they can afford it. Why she is insisting that they take a honeymoon when our wedding is in JAMAICA 3 weeks later is still beyond me! They are going to the Bahamas for a week and will only be home 3 days before they leave again.

 

I feel like I've bent over backwards being very upfront with his side of the family about our plans. We originally told people to plan $2000 per person and it's only $1500! I send regular e-mails to his mom and the future sister in law. Neither has shared any plans with me. I don't even know what their wedding colors are! And my FH is the best man so we are shelling out some major cash for their event.

 

Beacuse our weddings are so close together I want us both to feel like we get to enjoy our special day, but I feel like I'm getting stuck with the left-overs!

 

My biggest concern is that we have already made the reservations and are responsible for the total bill! If we don't use 75% of our reserved spots we pay for them anyway! I reserved that number based on all of the yeses we got but when it came time to pay, everyone bailed. Our 1st count of yeses was 80. Thank goodness I only reserved 40! I have to book 30 and am at 19!

 

I am in favor of the traveling BDW wedding support group!

 

Whew! I feel better now! Thanks for "listening"

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Originally Posted by Debs View Post
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now something like this comes up, and one by one all these friends have 'better things to spend their money on'... 2nd computers, 50" TV's, hot tubs etc. I'm not bitter about this, because it is just showing ME where THEIR priorities are. I think if they were doing the same, I would have made a commitment to be there and I would be there.
What does that tell you? TRUE friends are friends forever, not just when it's convinient for them.
I think thats been one of my biggest lessons thru this entire ordeal. I didn't think I'd learn it the hard way, but I guess it had to happen! And isn't there some saying that the lessons learned the hard way are the best learned lessonshuh.gif

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Originally Posted by JamaicaBride062108 View Post
We are all in the same boat. I was just having a paity party about the same things mentioned above!
Ok, so I think I just need to vent, so bear with me!

Beacuse our weddings are so close together I want us both to feel like we get to enjoy our special day, but I feel like I'm getting stuck with the left-overs!

My biggest concern is that we have already made the reservations and are responsible for the total bill! If we don't use 75% of our reserved spots we pay for them anyway! I reserved that number based on all of the yeses we got but when it came time to pay, everyone bailed. Our 1st count of yeses was 80. Thank goodness I only reserved 40! I have to book 30 and am at 19!

I am in favor of the traveling BDW wedding support group!

Whew! I feel better now! Thanks for "listening"
I'm telling you, sometimes things, make that people, really, really suck. I definitely understand where you're coming from, especially in terms of numbers. We have the same problem as we've set up 2 sets of seats to be held on 2 specific flights and we have a contract with the hotel. It's like we're flying by the seat of our pants right now not knowing if we're gonna make our #'s.

Please just don't feel like you're getting leftovers. As you said, "your" day is special & you should by all means make the best of "your" day. I'm coming to learn that sometimes you have to stop bending backwards trying to satisfy everyone else and just look out for yourself!

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Originally Posted by yboone98 View Post
We have the same problem as we've set up 2 sets of seats to be held on 2 specific flights and we have a contract with the hotel. It's like we're flying by the seat of our pants right now not knowing if we're gonna make our #'s.
That really sucks. Not only do you have to deal with small turn out, but also paying penalty if you don't fill the #! I am really glad my TA advised me against signing a contract. I hope you get the number you needed to fulfil the contract...

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at the very beginning of this, my fmil said that we'd find out who our true and dedicated friends and family members are...and (while i hate to admit it) she was so right...we wanted 10 people at our wedding, and then i decided to invite my aunts, uncles and cousins, so he had to invite his, and then friends, etc. so 115 people later, none of the people we want there will be coming, and a bunch of people that we barely know (his parent's friends, my 2nd cousins) will be there...our rsvp date was 12/1 and we're still waiting on close friends and family that said they'd come...

 

the hardest part for me now is deciding what to do about all of these people from this point forward...i'm not mad, just disappointed...example: a college friend is getting married in july. it'll require a night in a hotel, a gift, plus the shower and bachelorette party. now, she didn't come (or even rsvp!!!) to my shower, didn't rsvp to the wedding (she's obviously not coming) and won't be at the bachelorette party (didn't rsvp for that either)...do i even bother to go to her wedding? these are the dilemmas that i'm left with....

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Originally Posted by lauren c. View Post

the hardest part for me now is deciding what to do about all of these people from this point forward...i'm not mad, just disappointed...example: a college friend is getting married in july. it'll require a night in a hotel, a gift, plus the shower and bachelorette party. now, she didn't come (or even rsvp!!!) to my shower, didn't rsvp to the wedding (she's obviously not coming) and won't be at the bachelorette party (didn't rsvp for that either)...do i even bother to go to her wedding? these are the dilemmas that i'm left with....
My exact dilemma. I have a friend who's destination wedding is a few months after mine & I know that the invitation is on the way. She told me that she couldn't attend my wedding because she's planning for hers & their budget is tight. She even said that her FI told her to come to my wedding by herself if she wanted to, but she said that she felt it wasn't fair to go without him!!!! So, initially I knew I'd be attending her wedding, but since she's not coming to mine, why should I break my neck & budget myself to go to hershuh.gif

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