that FI of mine...

[boscobel]

He decides YESTERDAY that he wants our marriage blessed by the church. This all came about cuz we are about to become god-parents to his niece Mia in February and the church told them it is a good thing we are going it BEFORE we get married, otherwise we wouldn't be allowed. They wouldn't recognize us since we weren't married in a church.

 

I dont mind having the marriage recognized by the church, cuz FI wants to raise our kids as catholics and that is fine, as long as he realizes that is his thing.

 

So now I am wondering, should we jsut do a ceremony at church the day of our AHR (July 12th)? That would give us just enough time, as long as the church is available, since we need to register 6 months before the wedding. Our AHR is already costing us a lot of money, and we are doing the whole sha-bang anyway, so how much more would having an extra ceremony in the church be? What are the extra added costs you can see? I can't only think of the fee/donation to the church and flowers. We will already have a photog, so maybe we would just extend his hours. Oh and transportation.

 

Any advice on what I should do here? I am trying not to be annoyed at him for bringing this up now...

[A10CalGal]

Fun times! You can have your marriage blessed by the church any time really. I don't know where does it fit best into your timeline?

 

Is this something your really want to do? The only reason I ask is because you seem to be doing just for FI's sake & said it's "his thing" about raising your children catholic. That's kinda big stuff there that you might want to think about. ??

[boscobel]

Well without getting too much into it, I was raised Catholic and I believe is alot of the stuff, but I don't necessarily like the church. I tend to think they are more hypocritical then accepting and loving. He is a little more into it and I told him if it's important to him, then we can live that way, as long as he knows its his responsibility.

 

I would be doing this just for his sake, if I did it, but he is doing Jamaica cuz it's what I wanted, so I wouldn't mind doing this for him if it is what he wants. And we already DO have all that other stuff planned, so I wonder how hard it would be to add on a ceremony.... Kinda babbling here, but he did jsut spring this on me!

[boscobel]

The teeny tiny box makes it hard to read what you wrote and check for errors! And my edit button isn't working. Oh wellllllll

[Jones4Me]

I like the idea of doing it before your AHR. maybe it could just be the 2 of you and your parents - so transportation wouldn't be a huge deal. Something intimate and brief - but meaninful for him.

[Spazz]

I think if it's not a huge extra expense or burden, you should do it. It sounds as if it would mean a lot to Matt.

By the way, thanks for telling us about this, I never realized that was the case about becoming godparents. I told my mom we would get our marriage blessed, but now I guess I have to make sure we really do it!

[boscobel]

Yeah, I had no clue either. Seems kinda silly to me, but I didn't make the rules!

[Spazz]

Quote:

Originally Posted by carlymcmullen Yeah, I had no clue either. Seems kinda silly to me, but I didn't make the rules!

I don't want to get too much into it, but I feel the same way you do about the Church - I was born into it, went to Catholic school for 12 years, believe in God etc., just don't like some of the things the church does, i.e. this exact rule!!!

Let us know what you end up deciding!

[Martha]

Wait...we ar going to be godparents to one of my best friends babies but she isn't even pregnant yet (she is very ummmm anal and is a wedding planner so is a planner by nature and yes, she already has this all planned out)...so obviously we would be getting married before the baptismal. We planned to get our marriage blessed, is getting the marriage blessed okay if we want to be future godparents? Does this make sense?

 

Sorry about the threadjack....I think the blessing can be very private with just the 2 of you and you should do it whenever you want, I don't think it should be before or after your AHR, but when you feel you should do it. KWIM?>

[jajajaja]

I think it would be really meaningful to him if you decided to do a nice blessing before the AHR. I like the idea of it being really intimate. I would try not to be really miffed at him for bringing it up late. I bet you could figure out some really wonderful plans before July. After all don't you have Team BDW to help?