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Hi ladies, I'm not sure where to ask this, but since you've been so helpful in the past, I'll bring it here and you can redirect if needed!

 

Is there a separate section on here to discuss the At Home Reception (AHR, or a reception that you have once you return for everyone who couldnt' make it). We're planning for ours now and its coming up in Feb. and well, my mom is driving me crazy with questions and details, and so I'm looking for some info on what others have done to either answer her questions or calm her down... can someone point me in the right direction, or....give me details on how yours was--like--

 

Did you wear your dress the entire time/at all, etc?

Did you have your wedding party dress a certain way, sit in a special place (like all together)

Did you do any of the first dances (again)

Did anyone make any toasts, or read any passages, etc.?

Did you have a DJ, photographer, anything else?

 

I was kind of thinking that it would just be a dinner for everyone with music and fun, but I'm finding out that my mom thinks it should be just as nice as our actual wedding....and she's really putting on the pressure. I'll appreciate any info, feedback, redirects to another place on here, that you can provide!!!

 

Thanks!

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In the General information topic there is a traditions, etiquette section. There are a lot of ahr posts there. you might want to copy this one into that. I'm not having an ahr so I can't help, sorry!

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I am treating my AHR as I would if it were my actual reception, but I think you can do whatever you want. If you don't want what your MIL wants, don't do it! Here are my answers...

 

Did you wear your dress the entire time/at all, etc? Oh, I can't WAIT to wear my dress to both my wedding in Jamaica and my reception at home!!

Did you have your wedding party dress a certain way, sit in a special place (like all together) Part of our wedding party will be in what they wore to Jamaica. the girls that couldn't make it, I might just ask them to wear a certain color. We hired a photog, like a real wedding, so I want them to look good in the pics with the bridal party

Did you do any of the first dances (again) Yes. We are going to do "fun" songs for Jamaica, like Bob Marley or something. Then for the AHR, we will go the more traditional route. Granted, we don't have ANY songs picked out. he keeps knocking my suggestions down w/o offering any!

Did anyone make any toasts, or read any passages, etc.? I am sure people will make toast, but figured that would be up to them.

Did you have a DJ, photographer, anything else? We will have everything - DJ or band, photog, possibly a videographer, driviing service of some sort, nice hotel after.

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THanks for the suggestion to post in the other spot--just did, so I'm sure I'll get some more helpful info.

 

Carly, thank you for the info on yours--your AHR sounds like it is going to be sooo nice!!! Unfortunately, I spent too much of our money (2/3 of the budget) on the Mexico wedding, because I was planning on having a low-key AHR.....but, my mom had some different ideas in mind...

 

I was planning on wearing my dress for at least part of the time, but perhaps I'll just wear it the whole time--save me some time with looking for a different one... Thanks for all your input and have a great time in Jamaica and at your AHR!!

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I am pretty much doing the same thing. I am getting married in cabo and the one week after the wedding were having an AHR at my FMIL's house. They have a large back yard and hopefully those who didnt make it could show up:

 

Did you wear your dress the entire time/at all, etc?I bought another dress. The one in Cabo is long and more formal and the one here is tea length still nice but a little less formal

 

Did you have your wedding party dress a certain way, sit in a special place (like all together)I told everyone that they could wear whatever they want to the AHR, obvioulsy still nice girls in dresses and what not, but told them they could do what ever. As far as the sitting, we are going to have a long table where the bridal party sits.. not that we will all be there at the same time, but just to make it look a little more formal.

 

Did you do any of the first dances (again)I actually spoke with my DJ about this, this is the only thing that we are going to do again, and we are going to do the thing where you count down who has been married the longest to the shortest.... actually were kinda doing the opposite, but we will find out the number or years my grandparents have been married and then they will be the first ones up to dance and then the DJ will count down to those only married for one week and we will be the last ones on the floor with a song... make sense? haha sorry

 

Did anyone make any toasts, or read any passages, etc.?I think there will be a couple people that do make some toasts, parents and stuff like that.

Did you have a DJ, photographer, anything else? We are going to have a harpist for our cocktail hour then a DJ after that, no photographer, we might try and do the disposable camera thing to se we can get some good pics

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I'm going to have an AHR 2 weeks after our wedding on Mexico.

I'm like you most of my budget will be spent on Mexico stuff so we are having our AHR at a mexican restaurant and it will be real low-key.

I will have a slideshow of our pictures and I will wear a 2nd dress that is not as formal but white = )

We won't be having cake or dances or speaches.

I think you can go either way. I would LOVE to have a huge reception and do it all again but unfortunately our budget won't allow it = (

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This past Saturday, I just had my AHR.

 

I wore my wedding dress for the 3rd time (wedding day, TTD session and AHR). and everyone loved to see me in it ! It was -14 degrees in Montreal and the say before it snowed 15 cm. Being in a very white dress + tan felt great in that type of weather ! The family also enjoyed seing Marc in his beige suit.

 

We reserved the intire restaurant for lunch and inbetween each course, my guests got to see a slide show ( the vacation pictures, the getting ready pictures, the ceremony + reception pictures + the pictures of TTD that my brother took). Everyone was really happy to see the slide shows as well.

 

It was like a regular wedding reception (had to kiss when people made noise with the glasses), some people spoke on our behalf, etc... At the end, people wanted me to TTD in the snow ! ! ! !They couldn't believe how my dress looked new after the horses + water pictures !

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That's great information....so, I'll just let things happen as they may and try to get my mother on the same page : ). Thanks for the encouragement girls, I'll definitely wear the dress then!

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We haven't even started planning for our AHR yet, and our wedding is coming up soon in May. For our AHR, we're planning on having a traditional Chinese wedding banquet at a Chinese restaurant, since that's what both our parents want us to have. It'll mainly be for extended family members and all of our parents' friends. I figured that we can have the wedding we want in Mexico, and when we come back, we'll let our parents have the wedding they wanted us to have. Luckily for us, the banquet pretty much pays for itself, since all the guests who come give money as a wedding gift.

 

We're going to have a DJ, photog, first dances, toasts, the whole shebang! And I'll definitely wear my dress again. We paid all that money for it, so might as well put it to use again! :-)

 

Good luck with planning!

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Did you wear your dress the entire time/at all, etc?

Did not wear my wedding dress, just a regular dress and it wasn't white.

 

Did you have your wedding party dress a certain way, sit in a special place (like all together)

Nope, it was come as you are and sit where you want

 

Did you do any of the first dances (again)

Nope

 

Did anyone make any toasts, or read any passages, etc.?

Nope

 

Did you have a DJ, photographer, anything else?

Nope

 

We just had a party at my parents' house. We set up a taco stand and hired people to come cook, bought tons of beverages, and played music on the speakers that are already set up outside.

 

There was no ceremony to it, no announcements, just come party. It can be as casual or formal as you like.

 

(BTW we had a small church wedding the morning of our AHR that about 25 people attended. The other 40-50 were only invited to the AHR).

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