What am I going to do???

[NYJen]

I really, really, really DO NOT want a Bridal Shower. I told my family this right after we got engaged and they were like, "Ok, no problem." But I know them - they're probably going to plan something anyway. So I made it a point to say, "No Surprises - nothing." Again, they said, "Ok." And again, I wasn't buying it. So I ended up breaking down in tears to my mother telling her how much I REALLY don't want a shower. How it makes me anxious just thinking about it and how I REALLY don't want to have to sit there in front of people opening gifts. (The thought just horrifies me.) I even told my friends at work that I don't want any kind of party in the office (no cake, no gifts, nothing!!!!) And if any of them do anything, I'll make their lives miserable!!!

 

Well, my mother just called me and in the middle of our conversation she says, "Oh, I've been wanting to talk to you about something, your shower." I was like, "NO!!!! We've have this conversation before and I'm now starting to break out in hives just talking about it. STOP!!!" She was like, "What about just a small gathering for the people who can't make it to the wedding?" Again, I was like, "NO, why are you doing this to me? Don't you love me?" She could tell I was upset so she ended the conversation saying, "Ok, I have to go, we'll talk about this later." What do I do I am VERY close with my mom and sisters and I know they want to do something, but I don't want it. HELP ME HERE!!!!

 

I think I need an alternative idea - something that they can do, yet not a shower. I mentioned to them that I wouldn't mind doing a weekend with them at the Casino and Spa we like in CT. But I think they're thinking of something I can do with other friends and family (which I DON'T want to do.) I need some help with this before I vomit!!!

[Christine]

Jen, why don't you want a shower?

[NYJen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christine Jen, why don't you want a shower?

I just don't like it. I don't want to sit there and open gifts in front of people. Seriously, I feel like crying now.

We didn't register either. Brendan and I have been living together for a long time and we have EVERYTHING.

[Christine]

So why not ask your mom to plan a fun day out, like a ladies lunch sort of thing and ask for donations to your favorite charity instead of presents. It might be fun to have a fun day with your friends

[starfish kate]

Hm.... This is a tough one. What if they did just a small cocktail party for boys and girls, and requested no gifts? Maybe handle it like a birthday party where you don't open the gifts in front of everyone. I know my family thinks that I say things that I don't always mean so they probably are thinking this way as well. "Oh, she really wants a shower, she just doesn't want us to make a big deal out of it."

[NYJen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christine So why not ask your mom to plan a fun day out, like a ladies lunch sort of thing and ask for donations to your favorite charity instead of presents. It might be fun to have a fun day with your friends

I really like the charity idea a lot. That's a really great idea!!!

I'm thinking maybe an evening cocktail party (guys and girls.) Just our closest friends and family, at our house, no gifts - that sort of thing. So it's not a shower AT ALL!!! And if it's guys and girls, I won't feel like everyone is staring at me. It'll be more like any random party we would have.

[NYJen]

Quote:

Originally Posted by starfish kate Hm.... This is a tough one. What if they did just a small cocktail party for boys and girls, and requested no gifts? Maybe handle it like a birthday party where you don't open the gifts in front of everyone. I know my family thinks that I say things that I don't always mean so they probably are thinking this way as well. "Oh, she really wants a shower, she just doesn't want us to make a big deal out of it."

Oh Kate, you read my mind. We were both typing at the same time. HA!!!

[Christine]

it could be more like an egagement party or couples shower

[LCBride2007]

i HATED the idea of a shower too. HATED it. my friends honored my request - we just went out for a group dinner instead. but Paul's mom insisted - and to be honest, i wasn't very firm telling her i didn't want one. so i had to open gifts from people i didn't know - and then try to pretend to find them in the room to thank them. it was awful. the nice thing is i made Paul sit next to me and open them with me and help me thank everyone. i didn't like it - but i got through it. would a couples shower make it easier for you?

 

i'm all for the spa or wine tasting weekend though ... that sounds more my style!

[katrina]

i once went to a shower where everyone was asked not to wrap the gifts. we just set them on a nice table. this way everyone just went on with the rest of the event and if you wanted to see what the bride got then you just checked out the gifts table. it was nice because the gifts weren't the focus of the event and everyone focused on mingling and having fun.