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What Happened To Basic Etiquette?

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#1 LeanneP

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  • 48 posts
  • Wedding Date:March 7, 2017
  • Wedding Location:Azul Sensatori, Riviera Maya, Mexico
  • LocationOntario, Canada

Posted 20 July 2016 - 11:35 AM

I know many of you brides-to-be and past brides have experienced this.  It's nothing new and I am so glad to have had this forum to read and remind me that I am not alone.  But I'd like to vent for a minute......


What happened to basic f#@*ing etiquette?


Our RSVP/booking deadline was last Friday.  A week prior I sent out a friendly reminder to let people know it was coming.  (We had 2.5 months from sending invites to the RSVP deadline so I can understand how some might have set it aside to discuss closer to the deadline and forgotten about it. - I'm not a total bridezilla!).  


You know how many of our guests replied? Maybe a 1/4.  And we even gave people the option of sending back the reply card, RSVPing on our website or even calling or texting us.  Just let us know in any way that is convenient for you.


Since I knew I would be chasing people (I've had the same experience with previous non-wedding events I've planned), we actually set our RSVP date two weeks before the actual room block release.  So the day after the deadline, I emailed all those that hadn't responded.  It was a friendly but firm email saying, "Hey, if you're receiving this email its because we really need your RSVP....please".  If you can't commit, let us know when you think you can so we can keep you on our radar.  If you think you may have given us a casual verbal a year ago, please let us know officially as a lot can change in a year."  So maybe a few more responses trickled in and now we're sitting at the halfway mark.  Where are the rest of you?  Like seriously people....do you not understand we are trying to plan a wedding here?!?!?!  


In fact, one of the missing RSVPs (even after two emails!) is my cousin who got married a few months ago.  Of course, I promptly responded to their RSVP.  You'd think of all people they would understand!  


I even had a few family members say they won't be able to commit until next year.  Our wedding is in early March and the resort is expecting our final headcount by early December.  Not to mention the little surprises and DIY projects I have planned.  So how's that gonna work???  LOL


It's just a sad state of affairs if you ask me.  The last two weddings we've been too, we haven't even received thank you cards!  My mom has been to several baby showers without thank you cards lately too.  We both vent to each other about the lack of manners these days!  I told her she need not worry, any guests attending my wedding would without a doubt receive a thank you card, come hell or high water!


Now I'm in no way claiming to be an expert in etiquette but who doesn't know you are supposed to RSVP or send a thank you card?  Really?  I mean I can forgive how the invitation is worded or the order of the insertions.  I get how some people may not know that (although this is the internet age!).  With all the technology we have now, I realize that many of the old methods are slowly becoming outdated.  I understand that. And though it may not be the "preferred or correct" way, at this point I'd be over the moon to receive an RSVP text or a sincere thank you email.  An acknowledgement of any type is better than nothing at all!


Whew....that feels better!  Who else it's going bonkers dealing with the lack of basic etiquette these days?

Edited by LeanneP, 20 July 2016 - 11:37 AM.

#2 scadeau

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  • Wedding Date:May 19, 2017
  • Wedding Location:Grand Sunset Princess

Posted 20 July 2016 - 11:48 AM

Sometimes you feel about after a big venting session - so hopefully you let some steam off! 


It is very frustrating when people don't get back to you, especially after putting the time, effort and money for stamps into the invitations and you just hear crickets back. 


I am dealing with similar stress right now, but this morning my mom told me to not stress over things I can't control. I should worry about the things I CAN control and the things I can influence. 


If people are taking too long to RSVP or haven't given you an answer, forget about them (for now). Enjoy your planning and be excited to celebrate with the people who committed to your wedding/trip and have booked :)  


PS. In my eyes thank you cards are a must! 

#3 JasminMattPhoto

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    Posted 21 July 2016 - 08:13 AM

    that is so terrible!!!! It sure is great that you have a place where you can vent your frustrations to like minded individuals. 


    Hopefully the rest of your planning goes smoothly <3

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