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jmp403

Is A Come-And-Go Afternoon Okay For Ahr?

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Here are some details about our wedding and a few questions about an AHR. Still not sure if this is right for us.

 

- We invited 180 guests to our DW -- all close family and friends (big family!). There will be approximately 60 of those people attending. We know that lots of people could not get the time off work, could not afford the trip, or have little kids which is why they were unable to attend.

- We are thinking about having an AHR, but I really don't want it to be a 'reception'. At most it would be a casual come and go afternoon event, with light food, self serve drinks in dispensers, cupcakes, etc. It would be more so a way to see the people who were unable to attend and make them feel included.

- Future hubby and I are both from 'City A', but now live in 'City B' which is 6 hours away. We have friends and family in both places, but 80% of them are in 'City A'. If we have an AHR, does this make 'City A' the best choice? (just asking because it would be so much easier to plan in the city we live in)

- How do you handle a casual come and go event like this?

- Do we have to include wedding reception type things like a guest book, decor, etc? I am honestly just thinking about renting a nice hall with minimal decorations, and making it a casual standing event. 

 

I dont know????? Thoughts?!?

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@@jmp403 Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

 

AHR can be tricky things sometimes.You definitely have some challenges associated with yours, namely the fact that you have two cities 6 hours apart. We had an AHR 2 weeks after we got married in Jamaica. It was a small group though - only 30 and we had a sit down dinner with a bar and DJ. It was great and everyone still talks about it 4 and a half years later. We held it in the city where we live. We made hotel arrangements for our out of town guests and managed to get a group rate for the cost of a room. The only thing I would be concerned about would be expecting people to drive from 6 hours away with all of the costs involved with that, to attend a stop and go. Just my personal opinion, but if we were invited to something like that I don't think we would bother. Could you not do something in a family member's backyard in "city A"? I think people might be more liable to attend something "short and sweet" like that if it's close to home. Is there a special reason why you don't want it to be a reception?

 

One of the "hitches" of a DW is the people that can't attend and it's actually pretty common. If you have that large of a family and feel the need to do something to allow those people to celebrate with you post-wedding, my feeling is that you might be the ones that need to do the travelling back to your home city. Then you may be able to have a stop in type of situation. Otherwise if you're expecting people to travel 6 hours, you will likely need to rethink your idea of no reception.

 

Good luck!

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Thanks for your reply.

 

I agree that it is tricky. There are a few reasons why I would prefer to do something low-key and not a full on reception. Of course cost plays a role, but I really have no desire to have a huge party with that many people. It is one of the reasons we are having a destination wedding to begin with. I don't want it to feel like a reception or a second wedding - if anything it would more like a cake and cocktails celebration. I think it would be better to do this in City A since most people are there. There definitely wouldn't be an expectation for people travel to attend, and even no pressure for people in a city A to attend.

 

The only reason we would do something low key is to see the people who were unable to attend and feel like they missed out.

 

 

@@jmp403 Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

 

AHR can be tricky things sometimes.You definitely have some challenges associated with yours, namely the fact that you have two cities 6 hours apart. We had an AHR 2 weeks after we got married in Jamaica. It was a small group though - only 30 and we had a sit down dinner with a bar and DJ. It was great and everyone still talks about it 4 and a half years later. We held it in the city where we live. We made hotel arrangements for our out of town guests and managed to get a group rate for the cost of a room. The only thing I would be concerned about would be expecting people to drive from 6 hours away with all of the costs involved with that, to attend a stop and go. Just my personal opinion, but if we were invited to something like that I don't think we would bother. Could you not do something in a family member's backyard in "city A"? I think people might be more liable to attend something "short and sweet" like that if it's close to home. Is there a special reason why you don't want it to be a reception?

 

One of the "hitches" of a DW is the people that can't attend and it's actually pretty common. If you have that large of a family and feel the need to do something to allow those people to celebrate with you post-wedding, my feeling is that you might be the ones that need to do the travelling back to your home city. Then you may be able to have a stop in type of situation. Otherwise if you're expecting people to travel 6 hours, you will likely need to rethink your idea of no reception.

 

Good luck!

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Just remember it's your AHR and it should suit your desires and tastes!!!

 

If I had your situation id probably host it in my home town with the come/go type ! I'd do it back home for ease of guests but otherwise it's all your call to make!

 

 

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i think you can do whatever you want! Agree w above, wouldn't drive six hours for something casual. We had a lakehouse party w food, cake (not a wedding cake), drinks. With a nautical theme so no wedding stuff except an album and a sign that said we tied the knot. Everyone had fun. We also said no gifts (didn't want people to think this was some gift grab)

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