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How much flexibility do we have in the ceremony?


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#1 Heidi

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    Posted 09 November 2007 - 06:21 PM

    I posted this in an already existing thread, but I'm afraid it's getting buried. Plus, I think this might benefit other people too!

    I have a few questions about the most important part of this whole experience... the actual marriage ceremony!! Since my wedding is at a resort, the minister/judge is provided by the resort.

    1. Will we meet the minister prior to the ceremony? (I don't think we meet with him/her until the day of the wedding)

    2. Can we specify what we want minister to say? (I was reading past threads of beautiful ceremonies like Janet's here: http://bestdestinati....-ceremony.html. How did/would you handle asking the officiant to read it?)

    3. How 'easy' is it to add readings, sand ceremonies, etc? (Should we just delegate certain guests to read, etc instead of relying on the judge/minister?)

    4. Can we say whatever vows we want?

    Any insight would be very helpful! Thanks!
    Married April 4, 2008 at the Riu Ocho Rios!

    #2 starchild

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      Posted 09 November 2007 - 07:10 PM

      I just wanted to respond, but Las Caletas isn't a resort (or in JA) but I would think things are fairly the same.

      1. Will we meet the minister prior to the ceremony?
      I did not meet our minister until after I walked down the aisle. Will met him on the boat on the way to the ceremony. He literally whispered "nice to meet you" when I got to the alter/table.

      2. Can we specify what we want minister to say?
      Ours had his own format of what he says. We were in contact via email before then and he shared what he would say and gave us the chance to change it. We liked his style and kept it as it was. He did ask for names of the person giving the bride away and other stuff he would have to say.

      3. How 'easy' is it to add readings, sand ceremonies, etc?
      Very easy for us. Via email he presented us with options of things to add - sand ceremony, hand blessing, gold coins, etc. He asked us to tell him what else we wanted and he would add it in.

      4. Can we say whatever vows we want?
      We did, and he didn't need them in advance for anything. In fact, if you recall I didn't even write mine until just before the ceremony!

      I would ask your WC if there is an email addy for your minister so that you can get a little clarity.


      #3 cheese_diva

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        Posted 09 November 2007 - 07:11 PM

        At our Cabo wedding we worked with the minister via email starting a few weeks before the wedding. We were able to pick whatever we wanted read and he gave suggestions like my original ceremony was extremely long and suggested we shorten it a bit.
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        #4 DreaW

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          Posted 09 November 2007 - 07:18 PM

          1. Will we meet the minister prior to the ceremony? (I don't think we meet with him/her until the day of the wedding)We didn't meet the minister till the day before the wedding.

          2. Can we specify what we want minister to say? (I was reading past threads of beautiful ceremonies like Janet's here: Our Ceremony. How did/would you handle asking the officiant to read it?)We sent Maye Cortinas (our wc) our ceremony that we liked and she emailed it to Bill Kennedy (our minister). He followed every word of it, though he did add a prayer and thought he and there :)

          3. How 'easy' is it to add readings, sand ceremonies, etc? (Should we just delegate certain guests to read, etc instead of relying on the judge/minister?)It was very easy, Bill was very accomodating

          4. Can we say whatever vows we want?we were able to but decided not to do our own vows.

          #5 Birdie07

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            Posted 08 December 2007 - 02:34 AM

            heidi,
            since we're getting married at the same place I thought I'd answer this for you. I asked chandlyn about changing the vows and adding a sand ceremony and she replied that we can add what we want and those would be fine. I'll let you know when I get back about all the other questions. But I plan on changing the vows and such. I'm picky and do not want to say "till death do us part" so I want to change that.

            #6 Jessica

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              Posted 08 December 2007 - 11:18 AM

              1. Will we meet the minister prior to the ceremony?
              We met about 15 minutes prior to the ceremony. He interviewed Brian and I seperately and customized our ceremony based off our answers. It was actually a great ceremony!

              2. Can we specify what we want minister to say?
              We could, but we didn't because I had enough to do without tackling this!

              3. How 'easy' is it to add readings, sand ceremonies, etc?
              I didn't do any of this. I'm a no-frills type of girl.

              4. Can we say whatever vows we want?
              Again, yes we could, but we let the officant handle it because we had enough on our plate.

              #7 albianstar

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                Posted 10 December 2007 - 01:55 AM

                glad some one else was thinking about htis
                i wrote vows but am interested to see what they have there at the riu for vows
                its really important to have something in regards to marriage is a commitment to love each other even when its hard, even when you dont like each other, .....
                also i was worried about understanding the paster, if he may have a heavy accent

                #8 Heidi

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                  Posted 10 December 2007 - 11:22 PM

                  Quote:
                  Originally Posted by CaliaA07
                  heidi,
                  since we're getting married at the same place I thought I'd answer this for you. I asked chandlyn about changing the vows and adding a sand ceremony and she replied that we can add what we want and those would be fine. I'll let you know when I get back about all the other questions. But I plan on changing the vows and such. I'm picky and do not want to say "till death do us part" so I want to change that.
                  Thanks! I look forward to hearing how your vows/ceremony turn out!!

                  ...and thanks Mo for your info too! I feel the SAME way about the 'obey' part; hehe! I don't think I'd say that part!! haha!
                  Married April 4, 2008 at the Riu Ocho Rios!

                  #9 Heidi

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                    Posted 20 February 2008 - 10:30 PM

                    We're still trying to figure out what to do about our vows. We don't want the traditional ones, but we don't want to write our own separate vows. We're looking for vows we can write before we go, collaboratively, and the same!

                    Here are 2 we found online that we thought were OK:

                    (Name), I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life.

                    I _____will love you ______
                    in the good times
                    And the difficult times
                    I will encourage you
                    when you’re down,

                    I will never criticize you to others
                    I will listen
                    I will support you
                    in your dreams and goals

                    I will be open with you
                    Willing to share my innermost feelings,
                    My secrets and dreams with you
                    and to trust them to your care.

                    I will grow along with you
                    And celebrate the many changes of life
                    As we journey together.


                    Anyone have other vows they like??

                    CaliaA07 - do you have any answers to my previous questions??! Thanks!
                    Married April 4, 2008 at the Riu Ocho Rios!

                    #10 boscobel

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                      Posted 20 February 2008 - 10:42 PM

                      Heidi, you made me all teary. Vows are so meaningful to me now.




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