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How To Choose A Maid Of Honor

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#1 Hydewedding

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 10:28 AM

My wedding is not until Feb 2017 and I am already stressing about choosing between my two best friends as my maid of honor. The following are my issues:

1. I will be maid of honor at both of their weddings
2. They dislike each other
3. They both have strong personalities and will have hurt feelings if I choose one over the other
4. I have 3 maids in mind so having co-maids would be awkward if one is left out.
5. I really would like to have a MOH and don't really want to have just all bridesmaids. One always has to stand closet to me at the alter.

Anyone ever have this problem and came up with a creative solution? Would love some tips!

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#2 acw271011

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Posted 31 July 2015 - 11:28 AM

Congrats and welcome! If you do a search up top in the search bar on bridesmaid drama you'll get any number of pages to read!! It's an ongoing dilemma for many brides to be.


If it was me, and you know they don't like each other, and you know there will be trouble if you chose one over the other, then chose someone else and make both of them bridesmaids! And if they say anything about it, tell them just that you love them both and you knew that someone's feelings would be hurt. You didn't want anyone to be hurt so you asked someone else because you didn't want to have to chose between them.


Good luck!

I said "yes" again to the love of my life at Grand Coral Beach Club, Playa del Carmen, Mexico on our 4th anniversary - October 20, 2015







#3 MrsCtoB

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 08:06 AM

ICK...sorry your in this situation! It's a tough one and as mentioned above, bridesmaid drama happens to all of us!!! There are a few ways that you can approach this I think. I think if you really do have one friend in mind to be the moh you could choose just one and prepare yourself for the backlash. After all, it is YOUR day and if you feel strongly about one friend being your moh over another, you should go with that. Consider how involved you want your moh to be in the process and what responsibilities you will want to delegate to her...that may help you to see which friend is better matched for the role. 

Another option (even though you mentioned you really didn't want to do it) would be to have them both serve as your moh's. While you would be appeasing them both, remember that they will have to work TOGETHER. Is that something they can do? Or will it cause you more frustration in the end? We all would love to think that our friends would not cause us more stress during our special time and will do the right thing, but I think I speak for many of us here on the forum when I say that is sadly not the case.

Not sure how large your wedding is expected to be but have you considered not having a wedding party? While that is not an option for some, I have a friend who went this route and it worked out quite well. Everyone was a guest so there wasn't a feeling of some being "more special" than others. My friend chose this option because of a situation similar to yours so just something to consider. 

Best of luck to you and I hope everything works out. My most important piece of advice is to follow your vision and do what YOU really want to do. Things will come up and there may be drama but in most cases no matter what you choose, that will be the case. You'll get through it but if in the end, you are doing what's important to you, it'll be perfect.

#4 vancouverpetunia

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Posted 01 August 2015 - 04:49 PM

I'm stuck between my best friend and my sister. I won't have anyone else in the wedding party. I want to have them both as equals but someone will have to stand next to me, so I feel that "elevates" her status. This stuff can be tough and emotional I'm not really sure what to suggest to you. I think above are some good points to consider.

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Edited by vancouverpetunia, 01 August 2015 - 04:50 PM.

- Erin


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#5 Hydewedding

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Posted 05 August 2015 - 08:09 AM

Thanks everyone! Great words of wisdom there for sure. I am now leaning towards making them co-maids of honor just because I love them both so much and can't choose between them. As you guys said they will probably put their differences aside and do their best to make my day the most special.
Thanks for the advice!

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Edited by Hydewedding, 05 August 2015 - 08:09 AM.

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