This is just to vent...and to perhaps get some advice on girls who can relate. It's long so I don't expect anyone to read it but it's just a good venting opportunity for me..haha.
My (former..) best friend and I have been close for the last 5 years. We've been through a lot together, and have always supported each other through our ups and downs.
I met my fiancé 4 summers ago; she met her current boyfriend 3 years ago (but they've been on and off for the whole time. He's not the nicest person to her and is afraid of commitment, they still haven't said I love you, he's extremely controlling, etc)
Matt and I got engaged on Christmas Day. She was the first person I told, and she didn't even seem excited. She wrote back "wow...congrats" and that was that. She avoids bringing up the wedding, everytime I talk about it, she rolls her eyes and changes the subject.
She's even gone as far to go behind my back and tell my sister that "Matt didn't WANT to propose to me, he only did it because I pressured him, and that she felt bad for him". What kind of FRIEND says that?? I know that it was said 100% out of jealousy and spite, but still - that hurt extremely bad.
This was back in February she said this, and she still doesn't know that I know. Of course my sister told me that she said this. I really hate confrontation so I haven't brought it up, but it's always in the back of my mind
Another mutual friend of ours has told me that she talks behind my back, saying I'm ridiculous over this whole "Wedding thing" and rushing it( (rushing it?? We got engaged in Dec 2014 and not getting married until April 2016....)
It REALLY hurts me that 1) She is not happy for me and 2) she feels the need to talk behind my back. I KNOW, all of me knows, this is because she's jealous and sad with her own relationship and how her life is playing out. The logical part of me knows this. And I'm sad for her, because I care about her and want her to be in a relationship where she feels valued and loved, etc. But she's not and there's nothing I can do about it. But the fact that because of this, she has to bring me down in the process? Wow. It really offends me and hurts me.
Because I hate confrontation, I haven't said anything, but I've been slowly cutting my ties. I don't initiate plans anymore (not that she does a lot without her boyfriend anyway, since he's so controlling). She'll still text and we'll make small talk but we're definitely not as close as we used to be. She's not stupid; I know she feels the shift in our friendship too. She still talks to me like nothing has happened, but I know she knows something is up and just doesn't want to bring it up.
Has anyone else gone through this? What did you do? I don't need negativity and jealousy in my life. I want to surround myself with people who are genuinely happy for me and my upcoming wedding, people who value my friendship and don't feel the need to talk badly about me behind my back and actually can confront any problem she has with me to my face.
I think I'm doing the right thing by cutting my ties and putting myself first. Part of me feels guilty though as we used to be best friends.
Sigh...I've seen a lot of girls say this before, but weddings seem to bring out the worst in people..