Maid Of Honour Fail?

[franciskeen123]

After being best friends for 8 years, I was asked to be MOH at a friends wedding. At the time she gave me set instructions to make sure that her husband to be, did not land up at a strip club on his night. I respected her decision and made sure that this was not planned for his bachelors. The bachelors went off and he didn't go near a strip club as per her request. 

 

Moving on to two years later, when deciding on who to chose as my MOH, I decided to choose the same best friend to represent me. I informed her at the time that I was not happy on the stripclub idea, she then proceeded to tell me not to worry. I even went as far as telling her that I didn't want certain people attending the bachelors as I was uncomfortable about the idea of a strip club and I knew people would drag him there. 

 

To my shock and horror the morning after the bachelors I find out that her and her husband planned the whole event and took him to a strip club. I really didnt expect someone who was my so called friend for so long not to tell me. Especially my MOH. Everything turned nasty after that point. With her husband stepping down as a groomsmen which inevitably ended in me firing her as a bridesmaid. 

 

3 months on and the friendship is on thin ice. Should I try mend what has been broken or should I just let the friendship go? What would you do?

 

[calgarybride2015]

Sorry to hear this happened.  It feels sad to me that she made her wishes clear and you obliged, but you made your wishes clear and she didn't follow thru!  And in fact, she was a part of the planning that was against your wishes.    Do you know if possibly your fiance had any say in them planning the strip club? Maybe he wanted to go and told them to forget about it and do as they pleased?  Just trying to get a sense of why she would do this.  

 

That said, I think if you let the friendship go or not, it's tugging at you and you should have a conversation with her.  If you haven't already, I would sit down calmly and ask her why she didn't respect your wishes as you did hers.  Tell her you feel she broke your trust and feel hurt that this happened.  See what she has to say - is she remorseful? does she have an explanation that you haven't thought of?  Does she not care whatsoever?  I assume something may have already happened due to your comment about things getting nasty and the groomsmen stepping down.

 

I think this conversation will let you know where to move with your friendship - ie does it have a chance at being mended or do you need to move on?

 

Lot of us on here have our drama stories.  I let my friendship go and that was over a year ago now. At first it hurt, but it was for the best and I just focused on the people who did care about us and were our true friends.

[acw271011]

I'm going to totally agree with @@calgarybride2015 and I think she said it very well. Have a conversation with your friend since I agree it does seem to be bothering you. Until you ask, you won't have any answers and you will only keep guessing at what the scenario was. It's tough and you may not get answers that you want to hear, but at least you'll know one way or the other.

 

Good luck!