Jump to content

Mom & Dad Walking Bride Down Aisle - Advice Please


Recommended Posts

@@deecol I can totally relate to your situation with parent stress at your wedding, although our situations are very different I know how hard it can be dealing with this stuff. Even before getting engaged I have always feared the day I would decide to get married and trying to deal with the situation between my parents. I didn't grow up with my dad, we didn't live together or even have contact until I was 21 so until that point I didn't think I would even invite him to my wedding if I got married - he never took an interest in my life. After reconnecting I realized well there's no escaping it now, I'll have to deal with this at some point. I should be clear that I didn't reconnect with him because I wanted a relationship with him. I reconnected with him because I realized I was carrying a lot of anger and resentment towards him and that it was manifesting in my relationships with other men and I needed to deal with it. Telling my mom that I decided I needed to do this was the hardest thing I've ever had to tell her. I had to reassure her that I wasn't choosing him, that she raised me and he could never take that away from her. 

 

Fast forward to being engaged. My dad has taken a very male chauvinistic approach. He actually took my fiancé out one night (after we booked our wedding) without me to try and convince him out of doing a destination wedding. Seriously!?! I was so furious. I still invited him and his entire family - I didn't want to cause a scene and as my mom would say "make a big fuss" about it. Over time I accepted the idea of his family being there with my mom's family. I wasn't worried about my mom (she would be civil) but I wasn't sure how my other family members would react. Slowly all of my dad's family declined the invite to the wedding…like every single person except for him. I really started to stress out. The idea of him being there with no one to talk to or keep him occupied was making me panic. Finally I decided to have a conversation with him, I realized that maybe he might be feeling just as comfortable as I was but didn't know how to bring it up. I set up a lunch with him and was very nervous that he was going to fight me on it because that is generally my luck when it comes to issues with him (no ownership, acts like the child etc) but to my surprise he didn't feel uncomfortable but thought it might be weird that he was the only out of his side at the wedding. He decided not to come (he wanted to make sure I was ok with that though…needless to say I was relieved) and instead said he would throw a small reception for his side of the family after we get back from Mexico. I'm sure he'll parade me around to his friends like the proud father he never was but whatever I can deal with it. 

 

All of this venting (wow this forum really does make you open up) is to say that I think having a conversation with your mom would be a good idea. You don't want that added stress while you're on your wedding week so even though it may be hard now to have the conversation you'll feel better once you get it all out and in the open. 

 

Sending you lots of good vibes! I know this part of the planning is never easy. 

Edited by snswedding2016
  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@@TinkerSofi @@ashhtayy Thank you so much for all your support :) 

 

@@snswedding2016 I'm so happy to hear it's all worked out for you :)  I will try to speak to my mom again, even though it's like talking to a wall.

 

Will keep you ladies posted.

 

Thanks again!!! xo

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Best Destination Wedding Sponsors



    Facebook Pinterest Google+ Twitter
  • Posts

    • Hi everyone! I have been doing lots of research on various wedding venues all around Mexico, my fiance wants a destination wedding and I am happy to have a wedding wherever so long as the vibe is right and guests are happy!  I have been seriously looking at Cabo Azul and was trying to find potential costs for them, but only found a page about their wedding costs from 2010. Does anyone have any updated information on costs / reviews they would like to share of this venue? Or advice in general, anything helps. Thanks so much, happy wedding planning to all!
    • Hello everyone, I am dreaming of a wedding in Costa Rica and was wondering if I could get any help with venues and wedding planners. I am thinking Tamarindo because a close friend of mine lives there and I've been in town more than a couple of times, she's being helpful but is at a loss when it comes to this subject really so I was wondering if anyone here had recommendations. I am not closed to other town suggestions either, if I happen to find a good place and staff somewhere else. These are the places I have so far, has anyone had any experience with any of them?  Stay In Tamarindo Luxury Villas in Costa Rica Luxury Villas Pinilla Tropical Homes of Costa Rica The Point Luxury Villa Thank you so much for your help!
    • Have you ever considered having a wedding inside a bubble? With the current global situation, many couples are looking for unique and creative ways to celebrate their special day while keeping their guests safe. A wedding inside a bubble could provide a whimsical and intimate setting for your ceremony and reception. Imagine saying your vows surrounded by a beautiful bubble filled with twinkling lights and flowers, creating a magical atmosphere for you and your loved ones to enjoy.
    • Adult only resort or not? Let's discuss the pros and cons of choosing an adult-only resort for your honeymoon. While some couples may appreciate the peace and quiet that comes with an adults-only environment, others may prefer a more family-friendly atmosphere. What are your thoughts on this? Have you had any experiences at adult-only resorts that you'd like to share? Let's hear your opinions and recommendations!
    • When it comes to planning a wedding, one of the most exciting parts is choosing the perfect wedding favours for your guests. These small tokens of appreciation are a great way to thank your loved ones for being a part of your special day and to make them feel appreciated.
  • Topics

×
×
  • Create New...