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*Background info first* 
I am not a traditional bride. I didn't want an engagement or even an engagement ring. We've been talking about getting married for so long now, and I thought to myself "Why are we waiting?" And more importantly, "What are we waiting for?" So we decided to get married. He didn't ask me a question and I didn't say "Yes." We made a decision, together as a couple, to officially unite our love. Because every decision we make from here on out will be together, why not start that practice with the most important decision of our lives?

 

We don't plan on telling anyone we made this decision. It's a private decision, and I really don't have the energy to explain 1000 different times why there isn't a ring on my finger.  I don't need a ring to show the world that I'm taken or that someone loves me...it only matters that I know and that he knows. 
*End of background info*

 

We DO however want our closest friends and family with us when we say "I do." I want to send out STDs and official invites and do the whole Welcome Letter and OOT bags, everything a regular DW has! I love it all!

 

My question...the STD will be the very first time ANYONE will know that we are even getting married. How on EARTH am I supposed to word that?! I've been brainstorming for days. I want to include that we decided to get married. Or something about this not being traditional. I just don't know how to put this in wording.

 

Has anyone else done something like this? Let me know your thoughts!! Thanks!  :D

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Is there a reason why you even have to explain? The STD is generally just the first "hey we're getting married on this date in this place, hope you can make it, details to follow". Would it be that much of a shock to everyone that you feel you would need to explain the decision? As you mentioned and I agree totally, it's your decision. Who says you have to explain it? If anyone is really upset by it, or desperately needs to ask you questions about it, they can always contact you privately. For me, I would focus more on the when and the where. So what if you don't have a ring? Again, I don't feel that's anyone else's business. No reason that I can see that you have to tell anyone that it's "non-traditional". Just have fun with it!! That's what counts!!

 

Good luck!

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Yes I agree! Just send out a "standard" save the date and everyone will get the idea! If they want more info they will contact you about it. Definitely no need to explain yourself, as the people who you are inviting should understand why you are doing it this way! Good luck!

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I guess usually since there is an engagement people know before getting the std but since you aren't really doing it that way I still think it's appropriate to talk to your close family and friends beforehand and just say so guess what sig other and I decided to get married.., so wedding will be here on this date I'm sending you guys a std....unless you want the whole thing to be a surprise . Because otherwise it would be weird to me to get the std in the mail if I had no idea it was happening .if You don't need to say he proposed etc and it is no ones business about the ring but 100% think people are going to ask and I would just say we're not really into the stuff we just wanted to get married .

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I feel like if I explain or not...I'm still going to get calls with questions and reactions! So it doesn't even matter what's on there...so the simpler the better!

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I agree with @@nadiakat17

Maybe some of your friends may not be 'shocked' to get the news by a STD but I think my family would be a bit hurt by it.

I think they would be like WHAT??? she didn't call to spread the loving news?  

 

I don't know, maybe I am wrong here but I don't think I would want that surprise in the mail if I was your mom and dad but I have never been in the situation.

 

Other than that, I say do whatever you want!!!!  I am totally non-traditional 100%.   I work with a doctor who doesn't want a ring. I didn't even question it -- we just babble on about her wedding planning!  I didn't even bat an eye.  So I agree with all you have said 100%, just not sure I would surprise the family with the news - I think I would tell them personally.

 

EDIT - unless you hand delivered your parent's STDs so you could see their expression and them yours when they read it.   Kind of like when couples show their parents a picture of the baby on ultrasound just as they share the news they are expecting. That would be fun!

 

Good luck!

Edited by calgarybride2015
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Yeah I think that would be a fun twist to hand deliver it!

 

Only other thing I'm thinking of if you want any loved ones input on the date. I knew I had to have both our immediate families and my best friend there so I asked them quickly before setting the date!

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EDIT - unless you hand delivered your parent's STDs so you could see their expression and them yours when they read it. Kind of like when couples show their parents a picture of the baby on ultrasound just as they share the news they are expecting. That would be fun!

 

Good luck!

that's a great idea! I think it would be super fun to gather the closest people..like our parents..together and be able to share that moment with them.

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