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How To Say "no Kids" To Some And Not To Others?

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14 replies to this topic

#11 nadiakat17

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  • 462 posts
  • Wedding Date:March 27, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Puerto Vallarta

Posted 15 April 2015 - 06:40 AM

Idk I see both sides. I can only speak what I'd feel like personally .., if I had kids I would probably question if other kids could but mine couldn't but would somewhat understand if they were siblings etc. I feel like it kind of falls under the etiquette of giving guests a plus one..,if I am inviting you I am inviting your immediate family unless it's a adults only resort. People use this as their vacation so some people want to bring their family. Personally at this point in my life I wouldn't have week long childcare so I would be unable to attend if I had kids
I think you may be able to dictate that they not come to the wedding festivities but a bit much to say they can't come at all. But then it brings us back if I had to find onsite babysitter I would be annoyed if I saw other kids at the reception...
Bottom line it's your wedding so you can say whatever you want but you might expiernce pushback, hurt feelings, questions or even guests who can't come

#12 bride2016

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    Posted 15 April 2015 - 07:20 AM

    Definitely a sticky situation. All I can say is that if it were me, i'd definitely leave it open to children as well. It would spare some hurt feelings for sure and like some of the other brides had mentioned, there may be quite a few that don't come anyway..

    It's a hard place to be in.. personally I wouldn't want a bunch of kids at the wedding either, but I would want to give some consideration to the guests.. it's still a 'vacation' for them as well.


    #13 rachelia160

    • Jr. Member
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    • Wedding Date:June 17, 2015
    • Wedding Location:NOW Jade
    • LocationCleveland, Ohio

    Posted 16 April 2015 - 04:41 AM

    I don't have kids so I might not be the most informed person on the subject, but to me it's YOUR wedding and you have the right to decide exactly who's there.  Even if I had kids who couldn't come, I certainly would think that it was perfectly reasonable to have the kids who are closest to you there, even if there was a "no kids" policy for the guests.  It would be a different story if you told one friend they could bring their kids and another that they couldn't - but when it's your family and the kids close to YOU, the couple, I think you get to make that call. Again, I don't have kids and maybe it would be more offensive to parents than it appears to me, but I don't think it's fair to you to have to not bring the people who are most important to you just to spare the feelings of a few parents.

    #14 MrsCtoB

    • Jr. Member
    • 286 posts
    • Wedding Date:March 14, 2015
    • Wedding Location:Valentin Imperial Maya
    • LocationBoston, MA

    Posted 17 April 2015 - 09:25 AM

    I can see both sides. I absolutely agree that you should definitely have the wedding that YOU want and if that means including certain children, I think you should be able to do so without hurt feelings. On the other hand, are your god children family or friends? I think if you made the exception for just siblings and relatives, most people would understand. If your including children of friends, that can get sticky. It might be hard for guests to accept that they made special arrangements for their own children who couldn't attend, but other friends got to have their children there. I personally would not mind making arrangements for my children so I could attend a DW that they were not invited to, but I would not necessarily want to be surrounding by others children during that vacation. I think I would feel a bit guilty and annoyed, which can end in hurt feelings. BUT! I don't have children, so what do I know? LOL Our DW was at an adults only and we got some slack because of it but in the end, our guests could not stop thanking us for choosing an adults only. They said they would not have been able to relax and enjoy the events the way that they did had their children been around. They also said they got to reconnect with their spouse and enjoy some alone time. So maybe they wouldn't all bring their children anyway?

    #15 ashhtayy

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    • Wedding Date:June 7, 2016
    • Wedding Location:Azul Fives
    • LocationToronto, Canada

    Posted 18 April 2015 - 12:11 AM

    @jaspbri0317 my FI and I never even talked about this while making our invite lists - we automatically added all our friends and families children.

    Like a few other brides have said, a lot of times your destination wedding (a week of their vacation) will double as their once a year family vacation due to costs. Personally I would feel by saying "no kids" (except a select few) I would really rub some people the wrong way. If going away once a year with their families is something that they do and could only afford one trip a year, I would want it to be a trip with my FI and I to celebrate our wedding rather than not have them there at all.

    I do agree it's your day and you have to follow your heart but these people are all spending a lot of money to see you get married (and to have a great vacation) and I think if they really want to bring their kids, they should have the option to because they are paying the bill (assuming you aren't paying for all of your guests).

    I also agree with you that other than my best friends daughter and my nephew I would rather not have kids there BUT our guests with children mean the world to me so having them there even though that could mean their kids are running around, crying and irritable is more important to me at the end of the day.

    Good luck with your decision. You know your invitees best, if you think they won't be too offended, than only include the names of the individuals you wish to attend.

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