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How To Say "no Kids" To Some And Not To Others?


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#1 jaspbri0317

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 06:13 AM

We would like to make our wedding No Kids Allowed but we have a few exceptions.

Our younger siblings and my god children. We definitely want them to be there and possibly be involved somehow. We would never get married without them there.

For everyone else though, we don't want kids coming. It will push our guest list up about 10-15 people if everyone's children came. We want as small as a ceremony as possible. But how can we say "No kids" to some and not to others?

Disclaimer: We aren't terrible people! We love children! It's just for this, we want to keep things as intimate as possible, which means cutting back the guest list.

#2 acw271011

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 06:46 AM

Ouch. That's getting into a very sticky situation. We had the same deal but it was because it's our grandchildren and my husband didn't want me carrying a baby around the entire night instead of enjoying our reception.

 

Having said that, it's very difficult to include some and not others. I think you either need to go with no kids or all of them. The thing is if you say no kids, then people arrive that left their children behind and see your siblings and god children, then the question immediately is "Why couldn't I bring  my kids?" and of course you end up with people upset. I perfectly understand about the numbers and so on. you can't please everyone. Is there any possibility that some of the people with kids wouldn't travel for your wedding? That may be a way to not have to deal with excluding the kids.

 

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#3 JenniferH114

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 07:13 AM

@jaspbri0317 - I acutally don't think it's that big of a deal to say "no kids" to your guests, except for the fact that you are allowing your godchildren to be there. To me, younger siblings seem exempt from the "rule" because they are your siblings and naturally they'd be there, but I think it's harder to justify also allowing your godchildren. At the end of the day, it's your wedding. Some people will not think twice about it and others might be upset. Unfortunately, that's the gamble you take, but it's your day and your decision.



#4 hellosassypants

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 07:23 AM

You are free to invite whoever you like or how you prefer your wedding. If you prefer your guests not to bring their then no children. It's your wedding. Although if you decide to go that route of not having children. just be prepared for the guests who do have children and aren't able to make it because of their children. (I.E. Babysitter wise) 

 

I'm just speaking from a mother's POV. If I were invited to a wedding and I was told I couldn't bring my daughter. That's fine. I respect the bride's decision but I know for sure, I wouldn't be able to make it because I would have to set up babysitting arrangements or it could interfere with her school schedule.


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#5 TinkerSofi

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 11:41 AM

This is a super delicate subject and yes, it's your wedding and you can invite whoever you want. However, I think what makes this situation kind of sticky is the fact that you will allow certain people to bring kids and not others. I think people can really take it the wrong way. For example, say you went out of your way to find someone to take care of your kids for a week and then you get there and there are kids. That wouldn't sit totally right with me. Maybe I'm a drama queen, I don't know. We gave people a choice whether they wanted to bring them or not but most people actually wanted to go on vacation with their whole family. 

 

I don't know how big your guest list is but I'm not really counting the kids as a "full guest" for ours. I know that sounds horrible haha but it's more like they're part of a package with their parents who are the guests. I'm not sure that the ceremony will feel any less intimate for having kids there. 

 

If it comes down to cost, most resorts will either not charge you for kids or charge you a very small fee compared to adults. Just something to think about and maybe ask your resort :). It might not be as bad as you think to have them there and it will keep everyone happy. 



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#6 beckys98

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 02:55 PM

Most of the people coming to our wedding who have kids (and that is a lot) aren't bringing them! In fact, with 65 adults coming we only have 3 kids coming and those are our niece and nephews. So maybe you won't end up with all 10-15 kids anyway?



#7 calgarybride2015

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Posted 14 April 2015 - 03:14 PM

I agree above, it is a sticky situation and while it's your wedding and your call, it may make some of your friends and family upset that the 'rules' didn't apply to everyone.

 

@TinkerSofi makes a point - what is the cost per kids at your resort? At mine, 12 and under were free so other than favors and chair ribbons they didn't cost me anymore money.   Also with our airline the ones who paid adult price (over 12) were included in our numbers for booking bonus' (every 17th person free).  

 

@beckys98 also makes another good point, some may not want to bring their kids so 10-15 may not even attend anyways!

 

Personally I would open it up to entire families to spare drama (hurt feelings) and so that those who won't have daycare for their kids could still attend your wedding. Ultimately my opinion doesn't count only yours hehehe good luck!


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#8 dreamweddings

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    Posted 14 April 2015 - 04:39 PM

    We would like to make our wedding No Kids Allowed but we have a few exceptions.

    Our younger siblings and my god children. We definitely want them to be there and possibly be involved somehow. We would never get married without them there.

    For everyone else though, we don't want kids coming. It will push our guest list up about 10-15 people if everyone's children came. We want as small as a ceremony as possible. But how can we say "No kids" to some and not to others?

    Disclaimer: We aren't terrible people! We love children! It's just for this, we want to keep things as intimate as possible, which means cutting back the guest list.

    Hey jaspbri0317,  

     

    I had the same situation with my own wedding, honestly.  I just went with a no kids , when some of the guests asked why not , I told them it would be an excuse for them as parents to take a mini vacation without the kids. Honestly they were all happy, and no-one asked me why my own child and nephews were there and their kids not.  

    simply being upfront from the beginning, donĀ“t even thing too much about it. 

     

    Also in pretty much all the weddings i have planned where kids were not invited , all guests were saying the party must go on for longer coz there are no kids around. 

     

    Your guests will understand.

     

     

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    #9 jaspbri0317

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    Posted 14 April 2015 - 06:13 PM

    Yep, definitely a super sticky situation. Thanks for all of the input ladies! Hopefully we will arrive at a decision that will make (almost) everyone happy.

    On one hand, it's my wedding and if I don't want certain kids there then they shouldn't be there.
    On the other hand, I could end up with way more drama than I can really deal with on such an already stressful day. Plus what's a few extra kiddos around?

    #10 vancouverpetunia

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    Posted 15 April 2015 - 02:36 AM

    I don't think I will end up doing this for various reasons, but I was considering having kids at the ceremony but paying for resort babysitters so that they weren't at the reception. I didn't want a bunch of tired, hot kids at the reception in the evening when they are more likely to melt down. Of course there's a cost to hiring those babysitters but it may be less than having the kids at the reception. Something to consider.


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