Sweetie - you married her son. For some moms, doesn't matter who it is, nothing will ever be good enough. It might just mean finding a happy medium somewhere along the way. There is one thing that I do want to say. Just a little piece of advice from an old lady. Try not to put your husband in the middle. You're his wife and she is his mother and it's a tough situation to be in. I know because I've been on the mother in law end of things. Pick your battles if you can, and try and understand how all of this might be making your husband feel. She just might be really jealous of you because you won her son's heart and that's sometimes a tough thing for some mom's to accept. I really can sympathize. You might never have any kind of easy relationship with his mom. Or it might just take a bit of time now that you're married. I can understand how frustrating it feels when it doesn't seem like you can do anything right for her, but usually there is something behind it, whether she never thought he would actually leave her, or she's lonely. Tough to know. She just might be the type of MIL that is going to be a royal pain in your behind for your entire married life!! lol If that's the case, heaven forbid, you and hubby will need to talk a lot about it and find a way that you both can cope.
Good luck!! When I read some of the things you ladies post here it really makes me stop and think sometimes. I have married kids so yes I'm a MIL and believe me, there are times I KNOW I've been the MIL from the hot place! lol It's a tough spot to be in. These chicks came along and took my boys away. I got grandkids out of the deal but I don't see or hear from my boys the way I did before. It's hard. Hang in there. Sooner or later, we do come around!
+1 on the not putting him in the middle. I try to remember that every time she causes drama that being in the middle sucks and I don't want to put him in that position. I know I hate being in the middle. I made him talk to her this time about it though because it's got to the point where she is blatantly name calling, accusing me of things (which my husband knows are not true) and talking badly behind my back on things that she is making up. Oh and sending me rude text messages during work hours. She did this during the wedding process and engagement period too but I let it slide as we were going to spend two weeks in Mexico with her. I even went to counseling on my own to talk to someone as she was causing me so much stress.
During the wedding time in Mexico she caused so much shit, even the night before the wedding - I ended up crying in my room the night before getting married as she was causing drama. The day of she blatantly named called me behind my back and accused me of doing shit. ON THE DAY OF MY WEDDING. And I let it slide. Even when she was off in jungle getting stoned. So letting it slide this time was not an option.
This woman was so good for 8/9 years we dated and as soon as we moved 3 hours away and got engaged she started acting like this. The crappy thing is she is a non-existent parent, only when it makes her look good, so it's super frustrating to have her be like this. Now she recruiting her sister to blast me (which they are doing on FB in a round about way) which is hurtful.
I'm lucky in that my husband is very very aware of how is family is and has my back 100%. I haven't retaliated or done anything so pretty much all that she is doing is making her look bad. It's just he tries to stand up to her and she cries like a little child and throws a tantrum - even yelled at her son on the phone last week because he was refusing to change the photo book (which we now changed).
UGHHH. I told my husband that from now on, I am not talking with her. Which he understands and is fine with. I just can't do it anymore. I have so many good thinks to be thankful for and an amazing husband and I just can't deal with the stress and anxiety this lady causes.
Oh and on the coping side - we have discussed it and we are putting distance between us and her after the at home wedding reception. Thank god. I am lucky I have his support, I'll say it again and again, very lucky.
It just makes me sad that this woman is being this way, when I have done nothing to deserve it. My husband says she has always been this way and that's why alot of her family doesn't talk to her and everyone excuses her behavior because she is difficult but it's not right. I'm not the person to call her out on this but it's complete BULLSH*T in my books. She has essentially tainted a very important time for him and I and feels no remorse at all.
Maybe she will wear her white dress again to the AHR. Just saying.
Thanks for listening ladies. I've been losing a lot of sleep over this. It' just makes me so sad.
Oh for those girls on here who say they are the moms of boys - I don't think anyone could EVER be like this woman. it's one thing to be difficult on some issues, I know I would be one day if I have boys but to go completely off the deep end - this is worse than that J-Lo movie.