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Losing My Patience

2015 Brides BDW Newbies Mexico

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#11 Meandhim

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  • Wedding Date:November 25, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Grand Palladium in Punta Cana
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Posted 19 March 2015 - 12:15 PM

@JamaicaNicole See.. that's what frustrates me too! I feel like my fiance puts in a lot more effort into his friendships and doesn't get the same in return. He was the best man in a destination wedding a few years ago, now this guy isn't coming to our wedding after he already RSVP yes.. My fiance is really bothered by it because he paid an arm and a leg to goto this guys Disney World wedding..

 

We had the same situation...we spent a TON of money to go to one of my FI friends Wedding a few years ago and now he isn't going to ours, my FI was really hurt by it, thought he was getting the run around from him..he would of been one of the groomsmen. We found out later the Friend and His Wife can't go because they are having trouble baby wise and they are spending a lot of money for IVF. You never know what peoples reasons are...some are legit some are bullshit...but you will drive yourself crazy if you take it all personal. Be happy for the people that are going and don't hold grudges for people that don't...you will be much happier in the end. And this is the curse of a destination wedding.


I think we can all relate to you on this one! 

Like many of the girls here, most of our guests (all but 10, we needed 10 to secure the date), booked in the final days, with one family booking almost a week after the deposit date. To be honest, we told a white lie to our guests and told them the deposit was due 3 days before the actual deposit date, and most of them booked on or around the 7th, and they thought that the deposit was due on the 9th. 

Now we are dealing with people being under the assumption that if they book the week before we leave in November, they can be apart of the wedding festivities....ummm no! Last night my FIs friend was talking about people booking last minute for a deal, and how they could just join in the wedding once they got there. What!? NO! It is a regular wedding people!!  

It was a very frustrating and stressful time in the wedding process, that is for sure. However, like many have already said, try not to worry too much. Send your emails/texts and so on, and then just let it go. Like someone mentioned earlier, we decided that we were not going to hound people. They all knew what was going on, book or dont book, we are still getting married. 

I told my guest the deposit was due on the 18th ...it was actually due on the 20th... I put a note in my info that said you had to book with our group to attend the wedding. We did have two couples book with a different carrier...but They were the first people to book their trip for our wedding and they saved 700! so I couldn't be mad. My cousin said he was going to get a last min deal and perhaps stay at a different hotel. I told him he couldn't attend the wedding if he wasn't a guest & No one is going to get a last min deal...that never happens!


 
My Planning Thread - MeandHim - Grand Palladium Bavaro - Nov 25 2015
 
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#12 MissJen3

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Posted 19 March 2015 - 12:26 PM

We had the same situation...we spent a TON of money to go to one of my FI friends Wedding a few years ago and now he isn't going to ours, my FI was really hurt by it, thought he was getting the run around from him..he would of been one of the groomsmen. We found out later the Friend and His Wife can't go because they are having trouble baby wise and they are spending a lot of money for IVF. You never know what peoples reasons are...some are legit some are bullshit...but you will drive yourself crazy if you take it all personal. Be happy for the people that are going and don't hold grudges for people that don't...you will be much happier in the end. And this is the curse of a destination wedding.


I told my guest the deposit was due on the 18th ...it was actually due on the 20th... I put a note in my info that said you had to book with our group to attend the wedding. We did have two couples book with a different carrier...but They were the first people to book their trip for our wedding and they saved 700! so I couldn't be mad. My cousin said he was going to get a last min deal and perhaps stay at a different hotel. I told him he couldn't attend the wedding if he wasn't a guest & No one is going to get a last min deal...that never happens!

Looking back I wish I could have said that you have to book through our TA to attend the wedding. With that said, we could not say that because he has family in Holland that we invited, and I have family in England that was invited, and we each have friends in Alberta, BC, and Saskatchewan that were invited. However, I am sure I could have put a note in for our Ontario people. Just the other week Sean's close friend from Alberta called and said they want to attend but have to wait till the summer to book because they have 3 kids they dont plan to bring along, and need to confirm babysitting. I told Sean they have until August to decide and he needs to make them aware of that. Ugh! Is it November 21st yet? LOL 



#13 pjay

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Posted 19 March 2015 - 12:44 PM

@MissJen3 Yea.. my biggest fear is that people are going to try to book after the booking window and that will drive me nuts because then they won't be recognized as part of my group by the resort! ughhh


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#14 Meandhim

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  • Wedding Date:November 25, 2015
  • Wedding Location:Grand Palladium in Punta Cana
  • LocationToronto

Posted 19 March 2015 - 12:52 PM

@MissJen3 Yea.. my biggest fear is that people are going to try to book after the booking window and that will drive me nuts because then they won't be recognized as part of my group by the resort! ughhh


Don't worry from what I've heard from the other girls on here..... Especially the Canadian ladies is that most people book by the deadline and you may have a handful that will book later and you will probably know who they are and as long as they book before you have to be paid in full they will be included... They may have to pay a higher price but they will still be included. I have to send a list of my guests to the resort... I'm worried about the people going with a different carrier.. But I'm just going to supply all their info and hopefully they don't get lost in the shuffle!


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My Planning Thread - MeandHim - Grand Palladium Bavaro - Nov 25 2015
 
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#15 pjay

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Posted 19 March 2015 - 01:55 PM

@Meandhim Thanks :) I already feel more at ease from everyone's awesome support in this group :)


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#16 acw271011

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Posted 19 March 2015 - 04:55 PM

@Meandhim had it right. You really don't know every little detail going on in people's lives. They could be having money troubles that you have absolutely no clue about! Or something else. Maybe trying to get to your wedding is a stretch for them. This is going to sound goofy but do you know how many times I've stopped at an atm and there's a receipt sitting there that someone has left behind. The balances always surprise me! It's like wow - someone is having a tough time.

 

Sadly we automatically think that because it's OUR wedding that everyone is going to want to be there. They're our friends and family right? It doesn't work that way unfortunately. It's one of the choices you make by having a destination wedding. It means you accept the risk that the people you think will be there might not be. We had a ton of people say yes, we'll be there. Including our kids. When push came to shove, and a few backed out, it snowballed. Everyone started being afraid that they wouldn't get the group rate if too many cancelled. So they all became part of the cancellations. In the end it was hubby and I. Just the two of us. Don't think I wasn't upset by it because I was. And it nearly cost me dearly. I was reminded that the two of us were the only important people and that Jamaica was what WE wanted, not what everyone else wanted. And what we wanted was to get married on the beach in Jamaica. We did.

 

I've said this so many times here. Ladies - you need to decide what is really important to you. Yes - we all want our closest and bestest to be happy for us, and they more than likely really are. But in a lot of cases they aren't a few thousand dollars happy and there are a lot of people that will simply not go to a DW. And what you did for them going to their wedding - that doesn't count because you should have done it because it was important to you and you wanted to do it. Yes - friendship is supposed to be a two way street, but it isn't always and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure out why it isn't.

 

Be happy with who is joining you and be sure to show them some extra love. They deserve it. The ones that don't, move on. It is what it is. We had an AHR and everyone that was supposed to go to Jamaica was there, plus more. We had a great time and it all worked out. When I look at what my husband and I have been through since we got married, believe me, the fact that it was only the two of us in Jamaica was the least of our worries. I very nearly wasn't here to be able to even celebrate my first anniversary. Life really is too short and you never know when it might be a whole lot shorter. Just enjoy your wedding regardless of who is or who isn't there.


I said "yes" again to the love of my life at Grand Coral Beach Club, Playa del Carmen, Mexico on our 4th anniversary - October 20, 2015

 

 

http://www.bestdestinationwedding.com/topic/78874-acw271011-so-this-is-not-a-planning-thread-but/

 

 

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#17 MissJen3

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Posted 19 March 2015 - 05:06 PM

@acw271011 Very well said!! 



#18 Wafflesmom

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Posted 19 March 2015 - 06:00 PM

@perianjay I'm so sorry to hear that you've been so stressed out lately. I know you and I have talked about this before and like everyone had said, this is a stressor we have all faced. Not that it makes up for people's rudeness or lack of consideration for you and your fiancé, but at least you know that we all support each other and you're not alone. I agree with everyone and perhaps just talk to your fiancé to let him now how this affects you. If you're like every other bride on here, you've taken care of the big bulk of the prep for the wedding and just explain to him that this is one thing you need him to do and take seriously!

Good luck and I hope that his side starts booking in the next two weeks. 90% of our guests booked in the last week and we still have a handful who are "considering" going. Feel free to email me if you need to vent
My planning thread: http://www.bestdesti...anuary-23-2016/

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#19 pjay

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Posted 19 March 2015 - 06:13 PM

@Wafflesmom Aww thanks so much!! You're the sweetest. It's just nice to be able to vent when i'm feeling so frustrated about all of this wedding stuff! I don't even have high expectations and I also think some people may have taken my post the wrong way, but i'm more irritated about the friends and family that RSVP yes and then decide not to come. I'd rather they just tell us in the beginning because when they wait last minute.. I just feel like it's somewhat cowardly. 

 

I guess i'm the type of person that would show a bit more respect to someone and if I had a money situation etc, I wouldn't RSVP yes to the wedding.. i'd probably wait until I know whether or not I can make it.

 

I have a good feeling that we're going to have quite a few "last minute bookers". I just can't wait until all of this deposit stuff is over and I can finally focus on everything with a number in mind. It's also stressful because I have to make sure that I have enough guests for my free Palace private events as well.. If I don't get that (which I doubt...) then it's a game changer.

 

Thanks for always offering your support! You're such a sweet person.


 

My planning thread :
http://www.bestdesti...e/#entry1885631

 



 


#20 LisaAnthonyPoppy

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Posted 20 March 2015 - 09:22 AM

Small bit of advice :) don't get upset until the deposit deadline has passed. They are adults they know the deadline. No need to remind them more than once or get your engines going unless they miss the date. It will work out I promise.

Edited by LisaAnthonyPoppy, 20 March 2015 - 09:22 AM.






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